Fracture
by Faukes
Summary: My eyes blitz to tunnel vision. All I can see is her face; she's terrified, awoken to a horror of which I was about to face headfirst. The prince tries to comfort me; the giant stays silent. I swallow hard, "Why do you need me to tell them apart?" [UPDATES FRIDAYS]
1. Chapter 1

A/N Hello all! It's been a while since I've dabbled in writing and never in the realm of fanfiction so welcome to my first fic! Feel free to leave any comments/suggestions in reviews or P.M.'s-If you love it, let me know. And if you hate it, still let me know! Either way I'm looking forward to sharing this journey with you all. Enjoy!

Ah wait...for those of you wondering this particular work is set after the anime of OHSHC, though there are throw-backs to the manga here and there (which I've yet to finish reading) And of course I don't actually own Ouran myself.

So with that said my little birds, I present to you-Fracture.**  
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* * *

**Fracture**

Chapter One  
_Intertwined_

The thickness in the air is suffocating. A distant repetitive beep emits from an unknown source down the ever-intimidating hall. Our surroundings are streamlined with white paint and harsh fluorescent lighting that only add to the cold isolation that's exacerbated everyone's disposition-and here I sit in the middle of it all.

To my left a prince waits alongside me, occasionally brushing strands of golden hair from his eyes, his vanity the only thing that could possibly blind him at this moment.

On my right a gentle giant rests a protective hand over the back of my chair, he is completely still, yet unable toshake the worry from his eyes that reflects in each of ours.

I've lost track of the other two, whom I'm sure have only distanced themselves as to not appear as weak as the rest of us. It wasn't supposed to be like this. A family-my family-is supposed to encase us all, forever intertwined despite our differences.

Yet now, even as I try to appear uncaring and oblivious, I can feel the ground shaking beneath my feet.

I slump further into my reverie. _Oh Mom, why does this keep happening to me?_

The prince brushes another strand of hair and, as if reading my mind, attempts to comfort me, "Haruhi, don't be scared. I've already told you nothing bad will happen when you're with me." He smiles, but even through his refined tone I can see immediately it's fake.

'A crack in his façade' I think to myself while attempting to force a crooked smile of my own. I can feel the tremors that threaten to ransack my being rise in ferocity.

But what if he's right? Maybe we all can go back to the way we were before that call-when the morning sun brought such a sense of normalcy? Oh God, was it really this morning when everything seemed so complete? I shudder at the thought, a lifetime seems to have gone by since then, when the phone given to me sparked alive with what I would soon recognize as one of the turning points of my young life.

Unfortunately I'm no stranger to tragedy, my mother-a respected lawyer-was killed just ten years ago, so even before the voice on the other line revealed the accident I knew what was coming. My messenger was short with me; fumbling through details and all to quick to reveal that yet again I would be faced with another challenge.

When my mother died I told myself that if I could make it through this anything else would be easy. So I took care of my father-who was paralyzed from grief-and told myself that I didn't need anyone to rely on. I taught myself to cook and clean, and through it all acted as the buffer my father needed to distance himself from my mother.

Not a night went by where his cries didn't fill my room, yet it was the silence that always got to me, for it meant that I was alone, a slave to my own dark thoughts. Thunderstorms were always the low point. But soon I learned how to get through them on my own; and it was with a white-knuckle grip that I learned to be strong.

I took solace in the fact that my mother's memory, if nothing else, was what drove me to be the person I am today, self-reliant and unwavering. Yet now I've betrayed her a second time, shaking with pure fear of losing those closest to me. I take my head into my hands, _Forgive me Mom._

"Miss Fujioka?" a voice calls out from the abyss.

I raise my head in an instant, "Yes?" I recognize her immediately. It's her eyes that give her away, containing irises the same vibrant hue as my looming tragedy. They look ashen now, sunken in and lined with black from crying.

Her voice cracks as she speaks, "Thank you so much for coming on such short notice, I realize how difficult it must be for a commoner to reach Tokyo Metropolitan Hospital." As she pauses for a beat I realize how accustomed I've become to my newly branded title. Yes, I am a commoner and even if I was offended by her remark…I just don't have the heart to demonize this poor woman. Not now.

"I'm so sorry to bother you but I was wondering if..." Her voice trails off suppressing a sob, how could I possibly help her?

"It's just that, well they always spoke so fondly of you. They said that you could…you could-"

"Tell them apart." The tremors crack the floor beneath my feet.

Her eyes sink to the ground. "Y-yes."

My eyes blitz to tunnel vision. All I can see is her face; she's terrified, awoken to a horror of which I was about to face headfirst. The prince tries to comfort me; the giant stays silent. I swallow hard, "Why do you need me to tell them apart?"

Only I know the answer before she opens her mouth. She inhales before she speaks.

"Because…I need to know which of my boys survived. I need to know if there really is a person in the world who could grant them their one wish, before that wish becomes forever void."

I watch as Mrs. Hitachiin disappears inside of herself, falling to the floor in what can only be described as guilt. The prince rushes to her aid, and the giant is quick to follow.

And so it is with a mother's lament that the tremors finally reach me, allowing this ugly world to swallow me whole.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two  
_A Faint Whisper_

Tamaki Suou had been the first to receive news of the twins, being that he was the leader of the Host Club as well as someone of elite status this came as no surprise to any of the other members. It seemed that even the face of tragedy could not quell the desire to climb the social ladder by using people like him.

At first he didn't recognize the number that came onto the screen, but instantly he knew who was calling the second she spoke.

_One of the twins' servants_, _what could those devils possibly want at this hour, surely they would have the decency to at least call me themselves by now._

But when the voice on the other line emitted a soft cry, Tamaki finally started to feel the unwelcome pang of worry build inside of him.

"Master Suou, there's been an accident. The young masters' limo was hit by another vehicle last night while nearing the Bunkyo District. The police believe it to be a hit-and-run case and have been investigating it for a few hours now, we thought you should be the first of their friends to know since you've always been so close."

Tamaki sighed at the last remark, he knew exactly why the Hitachiin family had ordered their staff to call him first and it had nothing to do with the twins' interest.

"Around what time?" he asked, deciding that with the proper details Kyoya's family police force would have better luck catching the assailant than the city's overworked force.

"About two last night"

"Is the driver hurt?"

"No sir, the limo had been hit from the passenger side near the back, he has a few bruises but nothing more."

"And the twins?"

The voice went silent.

"Are the twins alright?"

After what seemed an eternity the voice shakily replied, "The twins were flown to Tokyo Metropolitan Hospital in critical condition, from what I've been told both of them have been scheduled for an emergency surgery as we speak. Mrs. Hitachiin is on her wa-"

Tamaki hung up the phone before she could even finish and pushed '3' on speed dial no more than a second later.

In two rings number '3'-Kyoya Ootori answered.

"What" was the only greeting Kyoya gave. Tamaki froze, seven in the morning, early enough to send the 'Demon Lord' on a full-blown rampage, but he was the only one who could possibly make sense of things right now. It would be worth the risk.

"Kyoya, there's been an accident, the twins have been flown to the hospital."

"How long?"

"Since two, it was a hit and run near Bunkyo district. They haven't caught the driver yet."

"I'll get my staff on it. Tamaki, does anyone else know?" Thankfully, Kyoya seemed to be in a decent mood considering the time of day.

For the first time since the conversation started Tamaki allowed himself to let go of the breath he had been holding.

"Just the Hitachiin family, one of their servants broke the news. I'm headed to the hospital as we speak, Tokyo Metropolitan."

"I'll alert everyone else and we'll meet up there."

"Thanks, Kyoya…Hey, Kyoya?"

"Yes?"

"When you tell Haruhi, try not to worry her alright?"

Kyoya let out a long, audible sigh. "I'll do what I can."

"Alright, thank you."

Kyoya hung up the phone and made a call to the head of staff. "Sir?" his employee answered on the first ring, by now he had been up for two hours preparing the roster for Kyoya's day and he knew a call at this hour meant something had gone wrong.

"Takeru, there's been a hit and run accident near the Bunkyo District, two in the morning, possibly a drunk driver. Get the force on it immediately. Then I want you to notify the other members of the Host Club: Mitsukuni Haninozuka, Takashi Morinozuka and Haruhi Fujioka. Let Ouran Academy know that each of us, including Tamaki Suou, will not be attending class today."

Takeru paused for a beat, allowing the information to settle. "Will that be all sir?"

"Almost, send a driver to Haruhi Fujioka in order for transport to Tokyo Metropolitan Hospital immediately after the call. Tell her what's happened, but give no sense of urgency. Miss Fujioka is not to worry over this."

"Of course."

"That will be all Takeru."

"Thank you sir."

Before Kyoya even hung up the phone he had already began a mental list to make up for this mornings discrepancy. First, he would need to order flowers for the twins' mother as well as their frequent host requests. Second, a newsletter would go out informing all the Club's customers of where the twins were staying as well as an announcement of a package which would be named 'Taking care of the dual devils.' _With any luck two injured Hosts could work in the club's favor and make up for today's closing_. He thought to himself, proud of his natural ability to overcome a potential crisis such as this with grace.

Yet even as the thought crossed his mind he knew things might not be that simple.

Tamaki most likely had not been told of the severity of the accident, but Kyoya knew that an immediate transfer of two patients to the hospital was never a good sign. Something was wrong.

Kyoya had never been a man to worry, but it was there in the promise of dawn's light where he realized there was a first time for everything.

* * *

I don't know if I can do this.

Walking through the halls of the foreboding hospital, trying to seem like I'm the one in control, like I'm simply visiting a friend. But even with a comforting prince, a silent giant, and a forlorn mother at my side I can't help but stifle a cry with every step.

The hallway is just as bleak as the waiting room, all white walls combined with frequent, minute beeping sounds coming from every direction. My shoes squeak every time they come into contact with the linoleum, creating a chaotic symphony-of-desolation along with the beeps.

Honestly I'd rather focus on these little things that fill my journey than my intended destination, the twin's…I mean his room.

I keep trying to prepare myself for the thought that yesterday was the last time I will have seen one of them, but it just won't stick. I don't want to accept that anything has happened to my friends-Twin boys with blaring orange hair and amber eyes. Each one thought to be a mirror image of the other, and yet each with their own unique quirks and personalities.

One with a strong, domineering disposition, commanding everyone's attention-including mine. He was there for me when I was at my weakest.

The other was similar, but a little softer. He knew more than his brother how to handle the outside world and was always delicate in his approach, and was the one who helped me make the decision that changed my life.

I was spoiled to have known them both; I realize that now. Privileged to be a part of their closed off world, and to be a witness to the qualities that set them apart. My heart feels like it's going to burst at this point, or is it even there at all now? Perhaps it's abandoned me for a cheerier soul, one that's filled to the brim with light.

My soul is only filled with bleak shadows at this point, it must look pitch black by now.

It isn't until I see the room: Number 132 that my hands really start to shake. This is going to be harder than I thought.

A door conceals the inside of the room with frosted glass that's encased in dark wood. A sliver of light casted from the setting sun is reflecting through the glass and up the wall behind me, leaving a faint silhouette of the four bodies waiting just outside the room.

When I first arrived the sun had just risen…we've all been here for the entire day.

"Do you want me to go in first?" The prince asks, possibly to break the silence more than anything. He's always trying to play the eager hero in situations like this. But even he cannot save them now.

"No Tamaki, I'd like to go in alone if that's alright with Mrs. Hitachiin." I sound almost robotic in my response. I grip my hands as tight as I possibly can when I speak; it's the only thing I can do to keep me from breaking down.

Mrs. Hitachiin agrees, if even looks a little relieved. I can tell she's worried about what people think of her, that all of her friends can see that no matter how much her affluence equates to she still has to rely on a commoner-me-to tell her which son is still alive. How pathetic.

I can feel my entire body quake as my hand reaches for the doorknob, twisting it with the carefulness of something that's far more fragile.

When I enter the room the soft light from the frosted glass immediately turns blinding and I have to shut my eyes to shield myself. _Why didn't they shut the blinds?_

When I open my eyes I free my gaze in order to get a bearing on my surroundings. The entire room is bathed in the orange glow of dusk, which gives the room an almost romantic appearance. The source of the beeping noise is splayed out across the wall before me, relaying the results from monitors tasked with the job of keeping a patient alive.

It is only when I look down upon him that my body stops shaking, and as I look at the sleeping boy encased in the sun's glow I find myself realizing that, despite what the shadows threatening to consume my being try to tell me, not all is lost.

It is then, out of the darkness, that I finally feel my heart ignite with the one sensation that could possibly start a fire in my soul: Hope.

"_So, can you tell which one of us is Hikaru? Many ladies have tried to tell us apart but so far none have succeeded."_

…Hikaru.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three  
_The Ashes of September_

"Catch me if you can!" A young boy cries after his younger brother, racing through hallways and massive rooms. The scenery is familiar, and dear to his young heart. It was here that he was first introduced to the other half of his soul. Of course he doesn't remember the actual moment they were introduced-he had just been born after all. But bonds like theirs are not required to be tied down by memories, memories in fact were mere seconds in a lifetime they would share together.

You see, a family bond lasts forever, eclipsing all other fleeting moments.

Or so he had been told.

"Hikaru! Please wait I can't keep up with you!" The boy's breath turned ragged, he was never able to keep up with his older brother.

A flash of orange rounded the corner in front of him, "But Kaoru I think I saw her go this way, if we don't catch her now she might leave! And I want to play with our new toy."

The boy's brother-the orange flash-spoke with more ferocity than his younger counterpart. He was up to something tonight, and Kaoru was more than willing to follow him in their new game.

As he reminded himself to stand up tall, Kaoru held in a deep breath, puffing out his chest in hopes that his brother would notice how brave he looked. He ignored his aching muscles as he started running after Hikaru once more, for the promises of tonight far outweighed the threat of tired feet.

"Alright then, where did you see her go? I bet we can find her near where we found this" Kaoru stated, finally caught up to Hikaru. In his hand he held a shiny, metallic object.

Hikaru smiled deviously, it was all he could do to brandish the pride directed toward his clever brother. Kaoru was always an 'A' student in their lessons of mischief.

"Then let's go that way."

Just as the two turned another corner they found her, the family's newest addition to the staff. She seemed different than all the other boring ones, who wanted nothing more than to play dress up with the twins. She didn't pay much attention to them at all in fact.

It was the first person they'd seen who hadn't gushed over them, and for some reason they found themselves drawn to her.

The woman dressed in a maid's uniform and bathed in moonlight was startled at the prospect of losing her big score. She had planned to just grab the jewels from the family safe and get out as fast as possible.

As the maid listened as the twins stated their devious plot, holding the key to the safe in their tiny hands, she knew the night was all but ruined. 'Spoiled brats,' she thought to herself, forcing a kind smile as to not scare them into calling for their parents. Even as she looked into their faces something told her that the two children were smart beyond their years, and that made her very-very uncomfortable.

After the twins gave their request she straightened her uniform to appear more refined, "Young sirs, all I have to do is guess which of you is Master Hikaru and I can have my reward?" Usually she would never lower herself to a child's level, but drastic times called for drastic measures.

The twins nodded, giving her an hour's time and a good luck wish, though she wouldn't need either.

An hour later, they found her gripping a rope attached just below the great room's window. Kaoru was dumbfounded, wasn't she going to play with them?

The "maid" looked up at the boys through unapologetic eyes, "I'm sorry boys, but I just can't do it, I don't think anyone will ever be able to tell you two apart." She sighed heavily, her intended prize already now a distant memory; after all, she wasn't about to be humiliated by a couple of _children_.

And with the audacity to evade those amber colored irises, she vanished into the night.

It was in that moment that caused this night to be forever ingrained in the twins' minds. But not as the night they "stopped the bad guy" or even the night where their new toy had run away.

No-this night would forever be the night where hope was lost.

* * *

_Where am I?_

_The air smells fragrant, and when I breathe it in I can feel a warming sensation flowing through me, delivering a silent promise to be whatever I need it to be._

_I turn to my right, nothing but the grass in the field I'm laying upon. Is that where I am? A field?_

_I turn to my left. Someone's there with me, smiling at me with amber eyes._

_I feel his name on my lips even before I hear it echoing through the air, the sound it makes feels as sweet as the surrounding air._

'_Kaoru'…  
__  
He's lying next to me on the grass, one arm is supporting his head and the other is stretched out in front of him. He never stops smiling. "Close your eyes" he says, leaning into me to cover my eyes with his hand._

_I feel something heavy drop in my own hands as I let him keep my eyes covered; he's giving me a present, how sweet._

_Despite being comforted by his presence I can't help but feel a distant thought in the back of my mind trying to nudge it's way forward. Am I forgetting something? How did I get here, did Kaoru bring me?_

_I struggle with this thought and resolve to ask him, but when I speak I find myself unable to hear my own words. I can't hear anything now._

_All of a sudden everything feels so cold, I'm shaking from lack of warmth. I open my eyes to find that nobody's there anymore. I am alone._

"_Kaoru!" I cry out, my voice has returned. I look down at my hands. I'm holding something, something heavy, something metallic._

_It's a knife._

_I drop the object instantly, running to search for someone-anyone who can help me. The field has disappeared, replaced with a blaring white area that's without any walls or ceiling, I cannot see where it begins or ends. I need to keep running._

_Before I'm even able to get a grip on my surrounding's I feel my leg catch on something attached to the floor. My body flails through the air as I try to regain my footing; a sensation of pain shoots through every fiber of my being as I do so._

_Eventually I land facing a wooden object; a pair of feet sits just in front of it. A person!_ "_Can you help me?" I ask, ignoring the beckoning pain that's spreading through me. "My friend…he must've-_

_A streak of orange cascades into my view, and for a second I dare to think that it could be Kaoru. But I'm wrong._

_I watch in horror as Hikaru sits just before me, bound to a chair. Shallow cuts are projected across his face and body; his left leg is bleeding profusely. Yet even worse are his eyes, they've been sewn shut. The thread that binds them is tethered to his face by his hand, which is gripping the needle tightly._

_Despite my plea he doesn't speak, all he does is sit there in his grotesque state._

_The words 'save me' are being emitted from an unknown source, repeated endlessly through my whitewashed surroundings, the sound is suffocating._

_Even when I cover my ears the disembodied sound still vibrates clear as day. "Save me-Save me." The words rip right through me, over and over._

"_Hikaru!"_

* * *

My head hits the floor and I can feel my eyes burst open. My hands instinctively cover them to avoid the scenery that had tainted them just moments before. _Hikaru!_

The sound has stopped.

With as much caution as I can possibly manage, I open my eyes again, and in front of me is…Nothing?

I'm alone once more, but this time in my own bedroom. _A nightmare?_

A voice calls out from behind the door, "Haruhi! You need to start getting ready, Kyoya will be here shortly to take you to the Hitachiin estate and you don't want to keep a young man waiting!"

It's my father, home early from work. But what is he talking about? Keep who waiting? I push myself to a seated position on the floor; I must've rolled off my bed in my sleep.

As my grogginess subsides I feel the memories of the last two weeks come flooding back in. The funeral!

I jump to my feet, sprinting across my room toward the dress covered in plastic that was left hanging in my closet the night before. I put it on carefully, taking care not to stretch any of the delicate black lace that surrounds the top piece of the garment. Mrs. Hitachiin was insistent I wear one of her original designs to Kaoru's funeral and at the risk of damaging her already battered psyche I reluctantly accepted.

When I've successfully wrangled on the dress I can't help but look in the mirror at the figure before me in awe. I've lost weight since that day in the hospital, but the dress still clings to my figure. I honestly can't help but feel foreign in the garment-_I actually look like a girl wearing this_.

Thankfully the service has been restricted to only a few close friends and relatives, so Tamaki won't have to make up a story and introduce me as "Haruhi's female cousin" to any of the Host Club's customers.

I grab some concealer the twins had given me a few months ago and make an attempt to cover the dark circles looming under my eyes; they look like they're lined with black bruises by now.

"_Close your eyes."_

My hands start to tremble…Last night's nightmare is threatening to breach the surface by the mere mention of him. _Kaoru, I still can't believe it's been two weeks since you were alive._

I haven't slept well since that day in the hospital.

A knock comes at my bedroom door, and feeling as ready as I'll ever be, I open it.

Kyoya Ootori stands outside my doorway just behind my father, who's still dressed in his uniform for the extra shift he has to take today. Kyoya's dressed in a sleek pitch black suit, his glasses are set right at the bridge of his nose before they're pushed up by two nimble fingers. "Ready?" he asks, it's still pretty early in the morning, so any conversation we have on the way there is sure to be mono-syllabic.

"Yes, when does it start again?"

"An hour, we have plenty of time."

"Alright then."

I say, grabbing a coat on my way to the door, it's never cold by this time in September, but my attire is making me feel somewhat exposed.

My dad tries to fix my hair before I leave, "Alright Haruhi, be strong for daddy ok? Everything will be alright." His comforting words almost bring tears to my eyes. Nothing is all right anymore, but still I hold on to the little flicker of hope that appeared that day.

I manage a response before rushing out the door, "Thanks Dad, I'll be home tonight."

Kyoya climbs behind me into the vehicle and soon after the driver shuts the door, letting us know it'll take twenty minutes to drive there. Kyoya is sitting across from me seemingly keeping his reserve. I'm still not sure why he felt the need to drive with me; does he think that I would try to skip out on today?

The drive is silent up until the halfway point. "Haruhi." Kyoya murmurs, almost to himself.

"Yes?"

"I need to bring a few things to your attention before we enter the estate, first: This is a funeral that will be filled with many prestigious individuals, so try to act like a proper representative of the Host Club. Second: Hikaru will be there, he's been allowed out of the hospital at this point and should be returning to Ouran soon so I expect you've kept up on your class notes for him to catch up." I let out an exasperated sigh; _did he offer to ride with me to give me a lecture the whole way there?_

Kyoya doesn't even pause a beat. "Third: The Host Club will undergo a month's closure starting today. During that time some renovations will be made as well as occasional meetings discussing the future of the Club as well as it's members pending recent events."

I interrupt before he can go any further. "Kyoya, don't you think we can discuss this later? It seems a little inappropriate now with everything that's happened, I'll go to any meetings you want."

He smiles, "Yes Haruhi, we can discuss this later, just one more thing."

"What?"

His glasses shift to the bridge of his nose, revealing those endless black pools he calls eyes, "That dress suits you, it's not often I see you put in any effort. Kaoru would be proud."

I blush when he speaks. It's rare to get any compliment from the 'Shadow King' even if it is a backhanded one.

Before I can respond he tilts his head upwards and adjusts his lenses, baring his trademark opaque glare. It's clear that he isn't looking for any gratitude.

I turn to face the window before the urge to speak beckons any further; the world outside reflects my mood by revealing storm clouds that block out the sun. The window itself is starting to fog from the sudden change in temperature.

It looks like it's about to start raining.

Eventually the limo pulls into the grounds of the Hitachiin manor. We're still early, but I can see a cluster of people, including the other members of the Host Club, littering the lawn outside of the main entrance.

The Hitachiin Manor has a modern appearance, displaying a physique that's composed of large windows that are encased in steel and various architectural peaks that jut out in seemingly odd-but complimentary-angles. The lawn is massive and manages to contrast the cold structure by containing a slew of gorgeous cherry blossom trees. The petals are just now starting to disperse from where they sprouted in the Spring, spreading a wave of reds and pinks across the area.

In the distance, through a clearing of trees near the back of the lawn, a mausoleum stands barely visible. The letters 'Hitachiin' are engraved on a decorative marble emblem that hangs just above the small structure.

That's where they'll be putting Kaoru today…

Once more I find myself focusing on my surroundings in order to distract from the current situation. The visitors of the funeral are each dressed impeccably, no doubt this is due to Mrs. Hitachiin's collection. The Host Club members are all dressed in suits that are almost identical to Kyoya's.

The crowd beyond us are all tears when they greet Mr. and Mrs. Hitachiin, both of which who are teary-eyed themselves.

To my surprise Tamaki has yet to barrage me with the usual greeting. In fact he's standing across the lawn now comforting what look to be other Hitachiin relatives. Tamaki has never been one to let other's suffer in silence; it must be hurting him to see so many tears.

Honey and Mori are also trying to comfort everyone here. Since they've graduated it's not often that I get to see them, and while it's nice to have them here I know it's not exactly the time to catch up.

Kyoya, seemingly accomplished in his mission to speak to me, ran off the moment we got out of the limo. No doubt he's off talking to some dignitaries or any other person who'd be able to position in his favor.

Still, his comment earlier does make me think that he's softened up for the occasion at least.

It isn't until right before the funeral starts that I spot an orange and black figure walking across the courtyard…Hikaru. He's a sight to behold. Hair disheveled from a bandage wrapped just above his eyes, arrayed in yet another black suit and tie. There's a slight difference in the way he's walking, and I find myself squinting my eyes in order to find the reason.

"_Save Me"_

Immediately the image of him bound and bleeding sparks to the front of my mind, the same leg that was bleeding in my dream seems to be the one he's choosing to carry less weight on, which in turn is causing him to limp considerably. I shudder at the thought of what he and Kaoru had to go through in the accident.

Suddenly, I feel an arm extend around my shoulder, tugging me close. "Haruhi, are you cold?" a voice asks from my right, shaking me out of my trance.

I look up at the liberator of my musing and see a pair of violet eyes, laced with concern. "Tamaki, I'm fine. Just…I don't know-" It's all I can stutter out.

Tamaki smiles before taking off his jacket, draping it across my small frame. "Here" he says before resuming his grip on my shoulder. Our height difference makes it so the jacket almost drowns me, but wrapped it I can't help but feel a small burst of reassurance.

Like a signal from the sky a single drop falls just as the service begins. Grey skies are cascading around us now, reflecting our loss onto an unwelcoming world.

Despite my usual self I feel my body lean in toward Tamaki's; allowing myself, if even for a moment, a crutch for my battered demeanor. He only grips my shoulder tighter in response as the priest begins. His talk is short, but sweet, focused on Kaoru's life rather than his death, even earning a few complimentary laughs at some of the stories he tells the crowd of when the twins were young. I'm thankful to be able to hear of their life before we met, before any of us knew them even.

Before long I feel my gaze start to wander through the crowd. Instantly I spot a pair of amber eyes in the middle of the mass, and when I look into them I feel frozen to the spot.

Hikaru's stands right across from me in between two crying women, his shoulders are slumped but his gaze appears to be on fire. How long has he been staring? The rain begins to pour further and I can feel its drops sticking to my eyelashes, blurring my vision slightly. Through the downpour I attempt to read his expression only to find that it matches my own, not angry or even sad. Just…Lost.

The rain is a useful tool, one that nourishes as well as destroys whatever's in its path. To some, it's a sign of new beginning, and to others, an end.

But as Hikaru and I stand there, adrift in a sea of people, the rain finds yet another use.

Today it is our shield, our excuse for being defenseless in a moment that begs strength.

And as both our tears begin to fall freely, disguised by the forgiving rain, I thank whatever underlying force is behind the weather, for today they are feeling merciful.

Today, we are free to cry.

For tomorrow we're bound to face the dark promise of the unkown.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four  
_Vista_

Who am I to ease your suffering?

Nobody, that's who.

Hikaru…I know you're not eating, I know you're not sleeping, and I know, that despite whatever you're trying to communicate with this deafening silence, that you want me to say something.

I wish you could understand that when I sit here, frozen in place by your forlorn image, I am willing myself to say whatever could possibly help you right now. But the words never come.

So I sit here, paralyzed by fear, watching you deteriorate day after day right in front of my eyes.

It's been a week since Kaoru's funeral, since each of us said a final goodbye to a friend who was taken from us in such an unforgiving way. It hasn't been easy on any of us, but it's been unbearable for Hikaru. He didn't lose a friend, or even a family member, but part of his soul. And thus far I've been unable to do anything to make that burden easier to bear.

But today will be different. Today I will say something.

And as I sit there in the cafeteria, holding the pitiful lunch I've made for him, it's all I can manage to bring myself to walk toward him.

He looks surprised when I hold out my offer, which is surely an improvement over that empty look. His bandages have been removed by now, but there are still faded marks across his face from shards of glass.

"Haruhi. Are you sure?"

Even though I've been with these people for over a year they still seem to be attached to the fact that I can't afford my own food.

I sigh before placing the meals I've prepared onto the table, "Yes Hikaru I'm sure. Besides, you look hungry."

Maybe it's because he was actually starving or just because I looked so pitiful offering up my leftovers but he ate every bite of the lunch I'd brought him, as well as the one I prepared the next day.

Finally, after a week of eating together in silence, he speaks.

"I must look pretty pathetic for you to want to feed me every day, like a baby bird fallen out of it's nest." His voice sounds course, like it hasn't been used in ages. Yet the words carry so much meaning behind them.

Hesitantly, a smile reached my lips, "You're nothing close to a baby bird Hikaru."

I raise my finger to the top of my line of sight and mark an invisible triangle shape just above his right brow. "Maybe more like…a cat."

My finger shifts to his left and traces the other ear above his head, eventually lowering it to form a nose in the middle of his face. His expression is blank the entire time, as if drinking in my movement.

It feels so good to have an actual conversation with him after what seems like a lifetime of silence.

Suddenly, his eyes close, and when they reopen that empty look that had seemed permanently etched upon his face only a moment ago is now finally replaced with the promise of something, _something_ _more._

"A cat it is then."

And just like that the spark bursts into a flame.

* * *

"Haruhi?"

A smooth voice is all it takes to bring me to the present, the blackboard in classroom 2A had been filled to the brim with information by the end of class, and my notebook reflects it.

So far my go-to tool during this whole mess has been distraction, and I've found that the best distraction has been to take notes. It keeps me from thinking about that day when…

The voice grasps my attention again, "Haruhi, what's going on? Are you alright?"

As I turn to my left to the boy who claimed the seat long ago I can't help but smile at the irony of his question. "Of course I am Hikaru, just taking notes so you don't get too behind, you know you're hopeless when it comes to foreign language." A smirk crossed his face briefly, one that I haven't seen in a long time, and one that is more than welcome.

"Oh you know me, hopeless without you."

"I'm serious Hikaru, you should start taking your classes more seriously, you just barely got out of the hospital and you were already behind when you left! I'm trying to do you a favor!"

Hikaru raises his arms in defense, "So angry. Well then by all means, help away! Maybe later we can have a study party? Let's say your house tonight!"

"Keep dreaming."

"Of you? Always."

I have to bring my fingers to my lips to hide my smile. I've missed this Hikaru, the playful and oh so annoying one. Not the one that came back from that day.

I feel as though the air between us feels so much lighter lately, and after weeks of exchanging empty looks that stupid smirk spread across his face is a long-awaited sight.

I rise to my seat, finally feeling a sense of accomplishment. "Tamaki wants me to grab some things for the Club's 'grand reopening' today after school, care to join me?"

He seems baffled at my request, which is most likely due to the fact that this is the first time I've invited him to go anywhere with me.

Truth be told I could use the extra help with the list of items Kyoya and Tamaki had given to me at lunch, and with Hikaru's driver we're sure to make it back to Ouran with time to spare.

Hikaru places his palms on his desk and pushes himself up to stand. Before I know it he's gripped his hand over mine and has pulled me out of the classroom and toward the exit of the academy.

"Sure, we can take my bike."

Bike? When did he start riding a bicycle?

* * *

This was not what I had in mind.

Hikaru sits directly I front of me, wrists attuned to the whirlwind of machinery that lies before him. The motorcycle-or 'bike' is a present from his grandmother, who apparently collects them.

It seems that the desire for self-endangerment runs deep within the Hitachiin family.

The road back to Ouran is beautiful, lined with trees and flowers. Despite the lingering spirit of fall the scent in the air still remains as fragrant as ever, something that I now have come to expect from the academy.

In the short time I've attended Ouran I've learned that rich people always want to surround themselves with beautiful things. Clothing, people, and even scenery are just a few elements that this type of people pay a high cost to enjoy at whatever time they please.

Of course money is no object to them, where as people like me have to be more imaginative. People like me have to see the beauty in things that to others might seem broken, or even ugly.

It's a power unknown to most at Ouran, and one I treasure dearly.

Hikaru's eyes appear fixated on the road. He's calm and calculative in steering across the pavement, weaving between cars whenever necessary. The surrounding area blurs with every twist of his wrist, accelerating us toward the school in record time. My hands are getting tired from grabbing onto the seat below me, yet I still can't help but feel excited; I've never ridden on a motorcycle before today. The ride is so much smoother than I thought it would be.

Almost like a response to my thought the bike hits a bump in the road, catching me off guard and causing me to let out a small, yet audible yelp. My hands instantly move from under my seat to Hikaru's chest, causing me to lean my body towards his back to get a better grip. I can feel a flush rise to my cheeks as I become more aware of my position, yet Hikaru remains completely still in front of me.

It's only when I try to remove my hands that Hikaru finally says something, "Haruhi, it'll be easier if you hold on this way. Your arms will get tired if you keep holding on to your seat." He says while grabbing my left arm and sliding it back towards his chest. Apparently our helmets are equipped with some sort of 'Bluetooth device' that enables us to speak to each other while he drives, so his voice sounds as clear as day.

In response to his offer I lean forward once more into his back. He's right; it is more comfortable this way. Though for some reason the contact between us sends a shiver up my spine, and it is then I realize how long it's been since Hikaru's touched me.

Once, seemingly a lifetime ago, his hands were always on me, an innocent arm over my shoulder to walk me to my next class, or even something as daring as licking cookie crumbs off my face. Yet since the accident happened he seems to have cut off all physical contact with me before today.

I can't help but wonder if it has something to do with Kaoru…

Before now I've always pretended to not notice his advances. Being oblivious to Hikaru's ever-present touch was the only way to ensure that any physical interaction between us remained just that.

I admit the thought of something more has crossed my mind before, being surrounded by a group of attractive young men will do that to a girl. Still I have to keep telling myself to remain emotionless when it comes to Hikaru's-and everyone else's for that matter-flirtation.

Eventually it became almost second nature to ignore their advances, but once in a while a simple gesture, even one as innocent as a hand brushing against mine, can ignite a spark that runs through my entire body.

I remind myself once more of the implications of these thoughts, 'Don't give in, one of them will never be worth losing five-er four.'

Of course, I've already lost one of them, so how could I ever bring myself to break my world even further over something as simple as a touch?

Hikaru pulls the motorcycle into the main entrance of Ouran, causing another bump that make me hold on even tighter. I silently thank myself that helmets cover one's entire face, hiding things like say, a complexion that's rapidly shifted from pale white to red.

As Hikaru leans the bike over to park it I decide to let myself off to grab the bags from the store. "That's a nice ride, I've haven't taken my bike anywhere but my house and Ouran before." He says while taking off his helmet, revealing a flash of orange hair that appears as though it's been brushed in all directions, giving him a slightly disheveled look.

I hadn't noticed before but it looks like he hasn't been parting it to the side like he used to. "Hikaru, did you change your hair?" I ask while taking my own helmet off, the flush in my face thankfully now a pale shade of pink. He shrugs in response, "It's because of the helmet, it's not exactly easy to keep your hair neat under there you know?" He grabs the mirror on the side of the bike and directs it towards me, revealing a tangled mess of brunette, "See what I mean?"

"Oh, well thanks for the heads up." I make a sad attempt at smoothing down my untamed locks, my hair is almost to my shoulders by now and needs to be cut-perhaps I could ask Hikaru to do it again?

"S'nothing. Hey…you almost look like you did when we first met!"

"What I look like is someone who needs a haircut, Kyoya will establish my debt again if I walk in looking like I need maintenance. Say you think you can help with these?" I hold up the bags filled with groceries bought from the store, coffee for Tamaki and cakes for Honey, whose decided to visit for the Club's opening. Hikaru reaches down and takes every bag from me in an almost-enthusiastic fashion, "Don't worry about these, and if you'd like you can come over tomorrow and I'll cut your hair, I don't have anything with me or I'd do it today."

Oh, I didn't expect that to be so easy.

_What is tomorrow, Saturday? I can do Saturday._"Yeah that would be great, thanks Hikaru."

As we walk into the school that gap between us grows by the second, even being weighed down by bags he still walks much faster than I do.

I make a silent promise to myself to get in better shape, "No problem, be at my place around noon, text me before you get there so I know you're coming." Why he needs a text to confirm my appearance I have no idea, what could he possibly be doing on a Saturday that's got him distracted, a project maybe?

"Sure, I still have the phone you gave me." I reply to Hikaru's back, he's still walking pretty far ahead of me as we continue up the stairs to the third floor.

My breathing starts to hitch from trying to keep up with him, "What's the hurry Hikaru? The Host Club doesn't even open for another hour."

Hikaru stops at the top of the stairs, turning around to face me, "I just want to get there quickly, I had no idea that something as annoying as Hosting would be so welcome after a month like this. I guess I just miss some sense of normalcy."

His response almost causes my eyes to water.

Honestly I would've thought he would want to avoid anything that he once shared with Kaoru.

When my mother died my father slept on the couch for almost six months, unable to sleep on the bed they had shared before her death-I guess things must be different for him.

_I wonder if he still sleeps in the bed they used to share?_I can't help but think to myself as we near Music Room three. Maybe he would rather be reminded of Kaoru, whose name even now still threatens my own heart to break. Thankfully, I haven't had a repeat of that nightmare I had before the funeral, though it's still fresh in my mind.

As soon as the door to 'Music Room 3' opens I'm greeted with a familiar, yet slightly different sight. All the chairs and tables haven't been touched; my favorite spot on the chaise near the window is still there, yet it feels as though something is missing.

When I look further into the room's details I finally notice what it is.

In the corner there lies a board, a place where Kyoya writes the Club's weekly "specials." The twins' duel hosting package has been wiped off, replaced by an original poetry reading by Tamaki. The roster of available Host pictures has also been changed; a picture that used to contain both the twins now holds one with only Hikaru in it. They must've taken a picture and swapped it out when the club was closed.

I can barely bring myself to face the changes, it's almost like Kaoru's been erased from our lives.

I look across the room at Hikaru, now lowering the bags on the ground, and give him my best attempt at an apologetic look. He gives a small smile back, but his eyes are all but barren now.

_No, not after we've come so far, you said you'd be ok!_

Once again I'm frozen in my spot, not knowing what to say or do for him. Please, somebody help.

"Haruhi! Where were you my darling!?"

And just like that a welcome distraction breaks the still mood, freeing me to turn away from Hikaru.

"Tamaki, you sent me to pick up things from the store, if Hikaru hadn't helped me we wouldn't have made it back on time. And please don't call me darling." The statuesque blonde flinches slightly at my cross response. He's probably forgotten the way I used to speak to him.

The day after Kaoru's funeral I had gone to school the next day hardly able to speak to anyone. My eyes were glued to the floor for most of the day; unable to look at anyone who could possibly seem even remotely happy.

Tamaki must've noticed the state I was in and, after begging me to talk to him, allowed me to cry on his shoulder for hours in the Club's room-I was so scared then.

I'm still scared.

Yet that day I realized that there were still people I could turn to, people like Tamaki and Hikaru. I still had friends worth living for.

In a way, Tamaki saved me that evening.

The blonde sighs as he leans down to pick up the bags Hikaru had placed on the floor, his mood has been a little darker lately too, and for a moment I allow myself to think that it's because I've been spending so much time with Hikaru.

He speaks in what seems like a disguised tone, "Come on then Haruhi, I'd like it if you teach me how to make instant coffee, none of my maids at home can make it like you do and I'd like to have it whenever I want."

Is that what this is about, instant coffee? Surely he can't be that dependent on it. My mind starts to race with excuses for his sudden request; maybe he has a hard time waking up in the morning? Or maybe he just really likes the taste of it?

Or maybe he just wants to spend some time with me-_alone._

UghI don't know why I can't stop looking into little things today, _its just coffee Haruhi, get a hold of yourself._

I straighten my jacket as I follow him into the backroom, which has been retrofitted by the Club to contain various pieces of china and types of tea. Tamaki moves toward the sink and fills a container with water to boil. He's silent, but still is able to move comfortably.

I swallow hard, better now than never I guess, "Tamaki, why did you call me back here? Do you really want to know how to make instant coffee?"

When I speak his entire body stiffens, and there's my answer, he definitely has an ulterior motive.

"Listen Haruhi, I really want to thank you for all that you've done for us this past month, none of the Hosts have had much experience with death, especially with someone so close to us as Kaoru. We all miss him terribly…" He turns around and starts to walk toward me, leaving the water to simmer behind him.

I can feel my heart beating through my chest with every step he takes toward me, "I just want you to know that I'm here for you too, that you're not alone in any of this. That night that you came to me after Hikaru woke up wasn't just for you…"

His arms cross my shoulders as he pulls me in to his chest. He smells so good; a scent that reminds me of the ocean mixed with a young man, eager to please everyone around him.

His head sinks down toward my neck, closing the distance between us, and his lips press onto my ear as he speaks just above a whisper, "Just give me the word and I'll be there by your side in a matter of minutes, I never want to see you hurt by anyone or anything again."

I can feel myself shaking in his arms. _I'm not the one that needs protecting._

I feel so weak at this moment, inhaling his scent, dreaming of a life that was not unlike the one I had just a few short months ago.

It all seems so distant now. In the next instant, before anyone can walk in on us, he pulls away, Violet eyes piercing through brown.

"Th-Thanks Tamaki, I really needed that." I mutter-almost to myself-as my arms cross over my chest, hugging my arms in an attempt to replace the feeling of him against me. We rarely have moments like this, when Tamaki discards his regular obnoxious actions.

But when we do I know they are to be savored.

A soft smile emits from his face, "Of course, just remember what I said OK? Now, let's get started on that coffee!"

And so I stand over him, supervising what we both know was only a decoy for that fleeting moment.

But still, it feels so good to know that someone is watching over me as I watch over another.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **So we all agree that bold type stands for a text message? Oh we do? Great.

I'm so glad we had this conversation.

Also, I'm sick! So there may be a few more errors than usual. Forgiveness, you has it in your heart!

* * *

Chapter Five  
_Flux_

It's a little after three in the morning when I hear my phone. Soft piano notes reverberate throughout my room as I reach for the cause of interrupted sleep that lays on the nightstand beside me. _Who could possibly want something at this hour?_

I try to make a mental note of the offensive time blaring at me on the alarm clock.

As my phone flips open I notice two texts: One from my father letting me know he won't be home until Sunday morning, and another from Hikaru sent just barely.

**Can't sleep, what are you up to?**

If my phone weren't on loan I would've thrown it against the wall. _Really Hikaru? You want to make small talk at three in the morning?_

I try to calm myself as I sink back into my warm bed and start to type a response that I hope won't reveal my irritation.

**What do you think I could possibly be doing right now?**

OK so not as subtle as I thought, before my last text can start a fight I decide to send another.

**Why can't you sleep? Something wrong?**

For a while my phone is completely silent, and just as I start to doze off it springs to life once more. A woman's angelic voice is playing this time; I'd forgotten that Hikaru set this song as his ringtone.

"Hello?" I answer, unable to hide the exhaustion in my voice, this is the first time I had been able to fall into a deep sleep since the accident.

The voice on the other line tremulously responds. "Sorry I woke you, I guess I'm still not used to being alone at night…" It's Hikaru of course, but he sounds different, timid even.

The thought of him feeling so alone causes me to bite my lip, I can tell this conversation isn't going to be light.

"No I'm sorry Hikaru, I didn't realize." I start to choke back a sob; it's unbelievable that I could have any liquid left in my body to cry anymore.

Unfortunately the cry is a little too loud and Hikaru is able to hear.

"Please don't cry Haruhi, I just wanted to talk to you, you're the only one I feel who understands any of this. I just don't know what to do with myself anymore, we used to do everything together so it's not like I can avoid his memory."

I can barely keep up with this string of information, Hikaru's never opened up like this.

"Everything reminds me of Kaoru and I don't know whether to face it or run away anymore. Today at the Host Club this stupid girl came up to me and tried to hug me, as if she knew how I felt. It was all I could do not to push her off of me. But then I thought of Kaoru and the way he used to remind me to try to be kind to people, and immediately I felt awful. It's like I can't win." His voice cracks with that last sentence, and instantly I'm awake.

Here goes nothing.

"Listen Hikaru, this isn't a 'win or lose' situation. You've lost the closest person to you, and it will be a while before anything feels right again. But I want you to know that I'm here for you, we all are." My voice is shaky, but I can feel the power through the words, unaware of how much I'm mirroring what Tamaki had said to me just a few hours prior. "Just give me the word and I'll be there by your side in a matter of minutes."

The phone stays silent for a few minutes, and I can't help but worry if I've somehow offended him.

Pausing briefly to give my statement some space, he speaks slowly, as if testing the waters. "What's the word?"

"What?"

"What's the word I need to give to you? To be here…now."

This was not the response I had expected; I didn't realize he would cash in on my offer so soon. "Hikaru it's almost four in the morning, I don't-"

"What's the word? Please Haruhi."

"Alright." I let out an exasperated sigh; _you're not the only one who feels like they can't win Hikaru._

"Just say 'when'"

A shaky breath, one that I hadn't even realized he was holding, audibly releases over the phone.

"When."

* * *

Ryo Takeru was a man of preciseness. Each day he would prepare a roster, file reports, and give orders to the Ootori police force before Kyoya had even woken up for the day.

Every file was always double checked, plotted, and refined within an inch of perfection.

This had been Takeru's part in the Ootori family for several years, and he was one of the best at doing it.

It had been almost a month since Kyoya had given him the task of taking over the Hitachiin case, a month of loose ends, blurry pictures, and unreliable testimonies. And now, thanks to a recent development of the sergeant, it seemed as though the case could finally come to a close.

His desk was littered with papers by now, strewn about over the course of the last nine hours in order to piece together the puzzle that formed in front of him.

It was only when the last piece was finally gathered that Takeru felt a twinge of an unfamiliar emotion build inside of him.

Usually a job well done initiated a sense of accomplishment inside of him, so what was this feeling?

He stared once more at the face on the top of the page, printed in black ink and illuminated only by his meager desk lamp. The face was cheerful and delicate, how was it possible that it was one that took part in that night?

Before he could envelop further inside of his self his phone sprung to life, reverberating beneath a few smaller papers. Takeru shuffled his files out of the way, managing to pick up the phone on the second ring.

There was only one other person who could possibly be awake at this hour. "Yes sir?"

"Takeru, any developments?"

Once more Takeru allowed himself to stare at the face before him. _Such kind eyes._

"Yes sir, I have the results right here."

"Good, I'll look over them now before calling it a day. Excellent work as ever Takeru."

Kyoya hung up the phone before Takeru could even respond. Carefully, he stood up, combining all of the pages into a single folder with the case number labeled on it.

And without a second thought, he walked through his doorway toward its intended delivery.

Leaving the delicate printed face and the guilt that rung through his entire being behind.

* * *

The road outside of my apartment is covered in darkness. Despite Hikaru's sense of urgency over the phone I was given enough time to dress in a pair of shorts and a T-shirt before walking to meet him. However with every step I take down the deserted street I can't help but feel a little nervous-you never know who could be hiding in the shadows.

I'm halfway to Ouran before I see him, pacing back and forth at the end of the street. I'm able to get a good look at him before he sees me; he's wearing a tank top and what look to be pajama pants. His now trademark orange hair is a mess to behold.

I call out to him before he even notices I'm there, "So you can't even get dressed before meeting me huh? Nice pants by the way."

Instantly Hikaru's head rises from the ground, revealing those amber eyes that seem to slice through the darkness. "You're lucky Haruhi, I usually sleep naked."

I motion my head to the side, pointing toward a pair of swings in the park across the street. Hikaru follows me to them; I don't know if it's from lack of sleep or his sudden confession but he almost looks like a lost child this way, eager to find his mother.

"So…" he says while pulling a swing up for me to sit on, "What were you doing when I called?"

He's trying to be coy, and I am not in the mood for his games.

"Just about to go back to bed before I was rudely interrupted again, the only reason I answered is because I like your ringtone." As soon as I start to sit down Hikaru nudges the small of my back, causing the swing to push forward.

Only after I'm able to gain some momentum does he speak, "Yeah I like the band, it's soft and clear enough that you hardly have to focus on the lyrics, you just go with the music."

If there's one thing's I know for sure, it's that Hikaru Hitachiin loves his music. Outside of class I rarely see him not attached to a pair of headphones and his iPod.

He pauses before giving me another push. "So were you dreaming then?"

My swing keeps going higher and higher; I can see the stars just over my legs now.

"Yes, I was having a pleasant dream where I was able to sleep through the night without someone harassing me."

Attempting to change the subject, I decide to go back to the music, "So do you know what she's saying in the song then? I didn't know you spoke English."

"Ah so you were dreaming of me then? And I took some conversational classes when I was in middle school so I don't speak it fluently but enough to know what she's saying, but like I said that's not the point of the song Haruhi. It's about being connected to someone, enduring the darkness that comes with them."

I try to ignore the comment about the dream in order to stay on one topic; I'm too tired to focus on a multi-level conversation now. "Oh, I had no idea that's what the song is about, that's sweet."

"It is."

He seems a little more distant now than over the phone. Are we going to talk about what he said?

He seemed so desperate then.

Hikaru backs up from behind me as I swing higher and higher, my legs starting to pump in order to keep up speed. "Hikaru, is there a reason you wanted to meet here?"

"My mom used to take us here after school sometimes."

It's obvious he hasn't gotten used to saying things like 'Kaoru and I" or even 'I' yet. I wonder if he'll ever be able to let go of that dual mentality.

"She always told us that a family bond lasts forever, eclipsing all other fleeting moments…I never really understood what she meant until now, but I think Kaoru always knew-"

"You two would always be together." I dig my feet into the ground, stopping the swing and myself just short of where he's standing.

Hikaru tries to avoid my gaze, but I can see his entire body start to shake. He opens his mouth and speak in an almost metallic fashion "…If only that were true Haruhi."

Before I can even process what I'm doing my body reacts, jumping up and pulling him into me, hugging fiercely as if to banish any negative thoughts from his tormented mind.

I can't help but have a second guess as to whether or not this is the right move to make.

His arms stay down at their respective sides; my arms are curled in-between his, holding onto his back.

I can feel his breath quickening as his arms start to rise, with my head on his chest I can feel his heart start to beat faster…he's nervous.

"Thanks Haruhi, but I don't need your pity." He slinks out of my hold on him, have I done something wrong? "Just, stop worrying about me OK? What I need right now is a distraction, nothing more."

I have to turn away from the sting of his words; they feel like a slap to the face.

I thought for a moment…well I'm not sure what I thought.

But never in a million years did I think that I would be the one shot down by him. Tears start to prick at the corners of my eyes-I need to get out of here.

"S-sorry." Is all I can choke out as I start to walk out of the park.

It's only when I break into a run that I hear his voice calling my name, but with this much of a head start I doubt he can catch up now, or even if he would want to.

The street lights start to blur as a tear gets caught in my lashes, I try to wipe it away but two more replace it, and soon my face is flooded.

_How could I have been so weak Mom?_ _All I wanted to do is protect him, and I can't even do that! I'm such an idiot!_

By the time I reach home my breaths have turned ragged, choking back sobs. For the first time I'm grateful that my father isn't home to see me. As soon as I close the door to my bedroom I sink into the ground and bury my head into my hands, lost in my own helplessness.

* * *

Hikaru could only stare at the empty spot before him where Haruhi once stood. With his injuries still somewhat fresh he knew he would never be able to catch up to her.

Yet still as he watched her fade away into the dark night he could feel his hands clench into fists.

Paralyzed from fear of hurting himself as well as her, Hikaru stood there for what seemed like an eternity, alone in a park filled with nothing but memories. Memories that he realized would have to be forced out of his reverie before he could feel any solace.

"God damnit Haruhi."

Even in a curse her name tasted sweet on his lips, had tonight really happened?

Since he had met the small brunette it was all he had ever wanted to be alone with her, she occupied every fiber of his being now, and he loved that she did. He craved her scent beneath him, yearned for her welcome touch against his rough skin.

Only now he couldn't help but feel regret for coming so close.

With his arms tightly pressed to his sides he spoke out to no one in particular as the tears began to flow.

"Kaoru, why did you have to tell me you had feelings for her too? Why? Did you know that you'd be leaving me so soon, and that I'd be left with nothing but a memory of your last comfession? You shouldn't have pushed her toward me if you felt that way about her, and now I'm so close to finally being with Haruhi, yet I know it's only because of you, because of who I remind her of…I hate you Kaoru!"

His fallen brother's name had escaped his throat as a yell, one that disappeared into the night as soon as it was spoken.

"I can't have her because of you, it's unfair really. You were always her favorite. I never stood a chance did I?"

Even as the request left his lips he knew it would fall upon deaf ears, his baby brother simply was not there, nor would he ever be.

Nothing was there anymore.

And he may have just run off the best chance he had at a better existence than what was promised by this ugly world.

Slowly he opened his phone and began to type.

**Haruhi, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Please let me make it up to you.**

He sat there for a while staring at the grey screen that ominously threatened the loss of yet another one closest to him. Finally, the screen illuminated.

**I don't need anything to be made up. I feel so stupid. Just go home Hikaru.**

Well, at least she was talking to him, even if her response left him feeling as cold as ice. He started walking back home, unsure of what to say or how to feel about tonight.

Everyday felt so empty to him now, and the one instance where he actually felt some warmth from another he had now ruined completely.

For a final time that night he replied to her message.

**OK, goodnight Haruhi. Sleep well.**

He decided it best not to bother her further.

By the time he reached his house Hikaru was exhausted by his own inner turmoil. He flung his shirt off, tossing it into the basket near the corner of his room, but couldn't muster any energy for the rest of his clothing.

As he crawled to the bed he once shared with his baby brother, he found himself moving to Kaoru's side. His fingers traced along the pillow for a moment, eyes half shut from the sheer exhaustion that threatened his demeanor.

Speaking to no one in particular, a soft apology left his lips, "Forgive me, Kaoru."

When he breathed into the pillow he found it still smelled of his brother, a familiar scent of the spicy food he'd always loved etched into the linen itself.

He decided that tonight he would be comforted by Kaoru's lingering presence.

Finally, after weeks of lost sleep, Hikaru felt his heavy eyes shut, welcoming the nightmares that were sure to ransack the rest of his night.

For he knew that tonight they held more promise than his reality.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** I just wanted to take a quick moment to thank all of you have have reviewed and shared your opinion with me through messages. Especially from Adorable Reader, who has kept track of Fracture since the beginning.

Besides the gratuities, I also wanted to let everyone know that I'm currently looking for a Beta Reader. Up until now I've been able to keep track of everything but seeing as how I've written up to Chapter Ten things are starting to get a little fuzzy (yes everyone this mean you're in store for at least another four chapters) If you'd like to apply, send me a message or leave a review letting me know. I update every week so I need someone who could edit one chapter in less than a two week timeframe (I'd send you the chapter one or two weeks in advance)

That's all, I'll get back to the story now!

* * *

Chapter Six  
_Our Penance_

_Where am I?_

_The air smells fragrant, and when I breathe it in I can feel a warming sensation flowing through me, delivering a silent promise to be whatever I need it to be._

_I turn to my right, nothing but the grass in the field I'm laying upon. Is that where I am? A field?_

_I turn to my left. Someone's there with me, smiling at me with amber eyes._

_I feel his name on my lips even before I hear it echoing through the air, the sound it makes feels as sweet as the surrounding air._

'_Kaoru'…_

_He's lying next to me on the grass, one arm is supporting his head and the other is stretched out in front of him. He never stops smiling. "Close your eyes" he says, leaning into me to cover my eyes with his hand._

_I feel something heavy drop in my own hands as I let him keep my eyes covered; he's giving me a present, how sweet._

_Despite being comforted by his presence I can't help but feel a distant thought in the back of my mind trying to nudge it's way forward. Am I forgetting something? How did I get here, did Kaoru bring me?_

_I struggle with this thought and resolve to ask him, but when I speak I find myself unable to hear my own words. I can't hear anything now._

_All of a sudden everything feels so cold, I'm shaking from lack of warmth. I open my eyes to find that nobody's there anymore. I am alone._

"_Kaoru!" I cry out, my voice has returned. I look down at my hands. I'm holding something, something heavy, something metallic._

_It's a knife._

_I drop the object instantly, running to search for someone-anyone who can help me. The field has disappeared, replaced with a blaring white area that's without any walls or ceiling, I cannot see where it begins or ends. I need to keep running._

_Before I'm even able to get a grip on my surrounding's I feel my leg catch on something attached to the floor. My body flails through the air as I try to regain my footing; a sensation of pain shoots through every fiber of my being as I do so._

_Eventually I land facing a wooden object; a pair of feet sits just in front of it. A person!_ "_Can you help me?" I ask, ignoring the beckoning pain that's spreading through me. "My friend…he must've-_

_A streak of orange cascades into my view, and for a second I dare to think that it could be Kaoru. But I'm wrong._

_I watch in horror as Hikaru sits just before me, bound to a chair. Shallow cuts are projected across his face and body; his left leg is bleeding profusely, and a new, fresh gash is visible through his shirt under his ribline. Yet even worse are his eyes, they've been sewn shut. The thread that binds them is tethered to his face by his hand, which is gripping the needle tightly._

_Despite my plea he doesn't speak, all he does is sit there in his grotesque state._

_The words 'save me' are being emitted from an unknown source, repeated endlessly through my whitewashed surroundings, the sound is suffocating._

_Even when I cover my ears the disembodied sound still vibrates clear as day. "Save me-Save me." The words rip right through me, over and over._

"_Hikaru!"_

A voice whispers into my ear this time, sending a shiver up my spine from it's familiarity. It's Kaoru.

"_You hold it in your hands..."_

* * *

I hear a loud noise above me as my eyes shoot open once more. Again Hikaru's image has disappeared, replaced with the empty corners of my room, dusted by flecks of light coming through the curtains.

I rub my eyes until they adjust, taking caution before putting on my glasses. My hands are still trembling from the nightmare.

I glance to my alarm clock to check the time only to find that it's ten o' clock in the morning; I've only had a little over four hours of sleep. I'm beginning to see how Kyoya feels.

At least his night's are sure to be nightmare free, unless you count the ones of others induced by him.

I look over to my cellphone beside me and decide to check it once more.

Two missed calls from Tamaki and three texts, two from Kyoya and one…from Hikaru.

_Seriously?_The audacity of some people, he'll have to work for any forgiveness I have left in me at this point.

Skipping over anything Hikaru could possibly have to say I listen to Tamaki's voicemail first.

"Haruhi, it's Tamaki-though I'm sure you already knew that from the phone. Listen, I wanted to know if you might be interested in going out with me to dinner tonight? Kyoya's busy and had to cancel the meeting we had planned and well…I'd just really like to see you. Let me know K? Later."

Tamaki wants to go out on a date with me?

Instantly I feel a flush cover my entire face. After Hikaru had called me last night I had all but forgotten about Tamaki's actions at the Host Club, maybe he can bring some relief to all this turmoil brought up by last night.

I open my phone to text a response to his voicemail, but find myself reading Kyoya's message first.

**Haruhi, in lieu of recent events I've decided to overlook your appearance yesterday. However need I remind you that your debt can be reinstated at any time if you choose to cost the club money by going around looking like a homeless person. Get yourself maintained, now.**

"Asshole" I mutter, closing the phone. Despite being one of Kyoya's proclaimed 'closest friends' I find that he can be so indescribably rude sometimes.

It seems as though rude friends surround me these days.

As soon as I calm down I type my response to Tamaki.

**Sounds good to me, when should I be at your house then?**

Almost as soon as I put my phone down it illuminates with another text:

**Wait, so are we OK now?**

What could he mean by that? I go to double check the number at the top and notice my mistake immediately. It wasn't in fact Tamaki I had messaged, but Hikaru. Great, I must've replied to him by accident.

Last night is still ingrained into my mind at this point, his solemn face rejecting my outburst. He doesn't deserve to be forgiven…But still, I had asked him to help me out with a haircut, and I can't back out now with Kyoya threatening me.

_There's nothing I can do about it now, might as well get out of Kyoya's hair before he sends another vicious text._

Reluctantly, I type my response.

**No we're not OK, that text was met for Tamaki, not you. However I do remember about our plans for today, should I come to you or ask someone else? **

**You mean your haircut? No please come here, we can talk about what happened last night. Please don't be angry.**

The thought is hysterical. Angry? Oh, I'm not angry.

I'm furious.

I let myself go for a second, something I never do, and actually attempt to offer some help to the 'prestigious Hikaru Hitachiin,' and he throws it back at my face!

**Hikaru, I don't really want to talk about it, I'm humiliated enough as it is. Let it go? **

**…Yes I can do that, just come over please.**

I close my phone without responding. So that's it then, we just won't talk about what happened; I honestly don't even care about what his feelings are at this point.

At this point the best thing to do is use him just like he's used me.

I walk over to the bathroom to take a quick shower before leaving to Hikaru's. The pipes inset in the walls groan to life at first with the sudden demand for water, but they quickly burst life, hitting the right temperature and allowing me to step in.

The water feels so warm as I glide underneath it, promising to wash away any irritation I had left over from Kyoya and Hikaru's interlude to my morning.

My fingers cross over my body to aid the water, I find it easy to slip into a reverie while in the shower. _I wonder what a date with Tamaki will be like?_

He seemed so different the last time we spoke, and even now he's leaving voicemails saying he wants to see me. I can't help but wonder what's brought on this sudden change.

I mean it was only a few short months ago that he was still referring to me as his 'daughter' despite the constant reminder of his place in my life was far from any parental guidance.

He hasn't called me that since Kaoru's funeral…

"_Close your eyes."_

The nightmare's still fresh, threatening to constrict my heart at the mere mention of his name.

_Kaoru, I wish you knew how much we all needed you._

As my hand moves to put some soap in my hair I find myself unable to stop thinking about him.

Was he happy with everyone at the Host Club or was it just an act? Did he know how much he helped me during our conversations? I should've said something to him, but now I…

Before I let myself go any further I decide that it's best not to push my thoughts that far.

_I feel clean enough._Stepping out of the shower in record time, I wrap a towel around my head and dress in a t-shirt and shorts from my old middle school's gym period, they're a little too short for me, but I have some time before I have to be anywhere important anyways.

As soon I finish drying out my hair I hear a knock at my door that causes me to jump. Nobody ever comes over this early_._

Quickly, I run to the keyhole to see who's on the other side only to find that there isn't anyone there. _Am I going crazy?_

After taking a few steps back another knock protrudes from the door and I find myself filled with enough curiosity to open it.

"Yes?" I call out right before I find myself face-to-chest with none other than Hikaru Hitachiin, master of unwelcome encounters.

He looks flustered to say the least, "You didn't respond, so I wanted to make sure you were still coming, I thought I could give you a ride to my house instead of having you walk."

He's dressed in crisp dark jeans and a blue tank top encased in what looks to be a designer leather jacket. Moving higher…a long necklace strings around his neck down to his chest, it's an accessory that he and Kaoru both wore daily. His hair is once again shooting out in all directions from wearing his helmet on the way.

As I look into his eyes I can see they're lined with black much like my own, it's evident that his night's sleep, if it happened at all, was just as awful as mine.

Good.

I lean up against the threshold, time for some payback.

"Well if it isn't The Infamous Hikaru Hitachiin.I was in the shower, you don't have to be so concerned as I was just about to leave."

I can't help but detect the callous nature in my own voice directed toward him. He deserves my anger.

His eyes drop down to my feet, and then back up to my face. What the hell is he doing?

Immediately a flush comes straight to my face, _I forgot to change._

"Um, Wearing that?" he says with a smirk on his face, pointing at my offending shorts.

_Oh no_…

I look down and see that I'm all legs in what could pass for underwear in some cultures, and for the second time in less than a day I feel completely embarrassed by him.

But this time I'm coming out on top, I will not let him win.

With as much apathy as I can manage I fold my arms over my chest and am able to match his gaze eye for eye.

I part my lips ever so slightly, taking note that right before I speak he swallows. Hard.

"You have a problem with my attire Hikaru? I think a girl could do worse, but I could care less on what your opinion on my clothing is anyway."

He closes his eyes at my response and begins to inhale deeply, seemingly defeated.

That's right, the victory title goes to me! It appears that Haruhi Fujioka is actually able to take a Hitachiin down a notch, I deserve a medal for this!

But when he opens his eyes again they're filled with more fire than I've ever seen.

Slowly, He leans down, resting his head on my shoulder while simultaneously breathing into the crook of my neck. His necklace chimes against my body as his chest closes the gap in between us.

_Shit…_

Even through a whisper from lips pressed to my ear I can detect that stupid smirk in his voice, "Yeah Haruhi, much worse."

Hikaru Hitachiin: 2  
Haruhi Fujioka: 0


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven  
_The Depth of Contrition_

"Are you cold?"

"Hmm?"

I'm sitting on the back of Hikaru's motorcycle on the way to his estate. The ride is different than the one surrounding Ouran, which was eclipsed by blossoming trees and fragrant smells despite the coming fall breeze.

This one is obscured by shades of golden leaves, falling briskly off their branches and hurdling toward the earth below. The road isn't as secluded though, and a fall breeze is emitting across the road and straight through my body, sending shivers up my spine as I grip tightly onto Hikaru's chest.

While he's driving I can't help but take note yet again of how at peace he seems on the road, it's funny that someone privileged enough to have his own private driver seems to prefer being the one in control. It says something about his personality to say the least.

"I said are you cold?" He asks; the road forks and I can feel his body start to lean toward the left to turn, we're probably halfway there by now.

"I'll be fine, I've always hated fall though, it's pretty at times like this but then everything gets so cold and lifeless until the first snow. It's like the world decides to quit for a few months."

Through the headset I can hear him release a small laugh before continuing the conversation, "Everyone needs a break Haruhi, maybe sometime I could take you to Bali. If you like the heat you'd like it there."

The complacency in his voice is obvious. _Well don't do me any favors Hikaru._

The leaves surrounding us are flying by at breakneck speed, they looks almost like glitter in the air with the vibrant color marked in every piece.

I sigh heavily, eager to change the subject of him taking me anywhere,"I don't like extreme heat either Hikaru. So, how much longer do we have?"

"A few more minutes. Are you getting tired?"

"No, what's with you and being so worried today?"

He pauses a beat, sighing ever so slightly before speaking. "I'm not worried about you Haruhi, I just don't want you to be uncomfortable the entire ride. Look I know you're mad at me but that doesn't change the fact that I don't want you to be miserable. If you would like I can get you a sidecar to be angry in, would that be better for you?"

I bite my lip to keep myself from laughing, "You're not funny Hikaru."

He always uses humor to try to distract me, ever since I started working for The Host Club him and Kaoru would always tell me jokes to evade some sort of misdeed.

'_But Haruhi, we just wanted to see you in this dress we made!' Kaoru would say, a smirk resting comfortably on his face._

'_Yeah, besides how were we supposed to know your clothes were that flammable, us rich bastards can't perceive any knowledge when it comes to the finer points of polyester!' Hikaru would cry, mirroring the look on Kaoru's face._

Despite my attempts to stifle any laughter I find myself letting out a small giggle at the memory of the twins' pranks. They weren't funny at the time, but what I would give to be subject to even one more.

"Well you seem to think I'm funny Haruhi" Hikaru says in front of me, unaware that although he was the cause of my outburst, it wasn't this particular situation that did it.

As we pull up into the estate's lot I can't help but revel in the size of Hikaru's home, even though I was just here a few weeks ago I still am at ends at how anyone could need this much space. It seems to mammoth any other structures around it.

"So, what does your dad do Hikaru? I haven't seen him around much."

He stiffens a noticeable amount before parking the bike. He steps off before me this time, turning to me and motioning to tilt my head up. Carefully, he unstraps my helmet before pulling it off, leaving my hair miraculously in tact save for a few strands.

"He does a lot of things actually, mostly involving computer software. Usually I don't see much of him because of all the travelling he does. Though even when he's here he's pretty quiet"

I freeze up. Was Hikaru's dad even at Kaoru's funeral?

"I'm sorry. Umm so where do we go from here? Do you have some sort of hair cutting room?" I look into the bike's side mirror and marvel at my rescued hair, "So if you know how to do this how come you always look like your head got caught in a tornado?"

"I don't know how to do anything, I just wanted to see if you'd let me take your helmet off." He says before pulling off his own, revealing the orange hurricane atop his head, I think I'm beginning to like this look though. "And I don't have a 'hair-cutting room,' just follow me."

He's all teeth when he flashes that sincere smile my way, I can tell he's enjoying every minute of this visit, and considering how rare that smile of his has been lately I choose to ignore the helmet comment.

I let him guide me toward the mansion's front entrance. As we cross through the doors and into the foyer we're greeted by several staff members, including two identical maids who seem very determined to give me their best mean look. Each of them, save for the two maids, offer a random assortment of items before being denied by Hikaru and finally disperse before he takes me up a flight of stairs.

_I wonder if Hikaru has something going on with those two twin girls._

He takes me up three more flights of stairs and down two hallways before finally stopping in front of a closed door, one in a row of others indistinguishable in appearance in this particular hall.

He turns around and looks straight into my eyes before opening the door, "So I've been working on a few projects in my room, and I was in kind of a hurry when I left for your house so I didn't manage to move it all downstairs, so please ignore the mess OK?"

I notice that my hand is still firmly gripped in his, as if he's scared I'll decide to run away in this labyrinth mansion. "Wait; are we talking about school stuff here? I can hardly imagine you being a messy person otherwise, not with a full staff and two shady maids to tend to you."

He raises an eyebrow, "Shady maids huh? I'll have to start referring to them under that title."

Carefully, he opens the door, leaning into the dark wood until it gives way over the threshold, revealing one of the biggest messes I've ever seen.

Inside Hikaru's room is what can only be described as a catastrophic plethora of fabric. There are several bolts lining the walls and scraps littering the floor all the way from where we're standing to the opposite corner of the room, leaving only a small pathway from the door to the bed. Against the wall are also some frames containing large portraits of fashion icons, the figures of which are covered by the bolts.

One corner in the room is slightly in tact, and ironically this looks to be his workspace, a desk is set up along with a sewing machine and leather chair. Sketches are pinned neatly into a grid just above the desk, some have been pulled off and placed onto a nearby mannequin, which has a remnant of glimmering navy blue fabric lined across it's bodice.

To no surprise the bed itself is covered in sketches of figures and clothing, and underneath the linens look to be perfectly made. Indicating either very a professional bed making staff or a Hitachiin who refuses to sleep in his own bed.

Despite the discord of what appears to be sewing projects it's hard to distinguish the rhyme or reason behind any of it. It merely looks like he decided one day to decorate his room in fabric and sketches.

Bewildered at how much material lies in front of me I hardly notice Hikaru sliding into the adjacent bathroom, he returns only a moment later wielding a kit of hair supplies.

"Come on, there's a room right down the stairs that nobody is using, it has chairs and a bathroom and isn't covered with stuff."

I still feel curious, "Hikaru, what the hell have you been doing in here?"

He looks away from me in an almost nervous fashion, "I told you, I've been working on projects. I don't sleep much so I've been working on these in the meantime."

My eyes avert once more across the room, crossing from corner to corner until finally falling to an open sketchbook on the table in front of us.

A woman is drawn in loose pencil on the page, covered in chicken scratch writing and deep blue watercolor in the rough shape of what looks to be a beautiful dress. The rendering is so perfect. "Is this yours?" I ask, motioning to pick up the sketchbook.

Nervously, he closes the book before I can grab it, "It was mostly Kaoru's…but there are some collaborations in there. Come on we should hurry if we want to get you ready for The Boss"

His voice quivers a little at the mention of Tamaki, and I notice his fingers grip ever so slightly against the cover of the sketchbook.

"No problem, let me just text Tamaki and ask him where we're going."

I open my phone and type a quick response to Tamaki's earlier offer to go out to dinner, following Hikaru out of his room after finishing it.

Thankfully, the other room is much more clean than his bedroom, but still looks to be the same design as his. A clone of the bed in his room lies in the center while a chaise sits just to my right, it's as if we've walked into the same room minus the fabric tornado.

Could this be…

"Hikaru, this isn't Kaoru's room is it?" I say before even thinking, _oh I hope he doesn't get upset._

He brushes my question off with ease, "No, Kaoru and I shared a room when he was having nightmares, but when we didn't his was directly across the hall from mine." Considering the topic of the conversation I had expected him to have a little more emotion in his voice.

"Oh, did he have nightmares often?" I respond, thinking back to my own nightmare from this morning.

"Yeah, not as often as when we were kids though. We used to always share a room until he started suffering from night terrors. Almost every night I woke up to the sound of him screaming, and I couldn't say or do anything to help him. My parents decided to move him into his own room and shortly after some therapy the terrors subsided a little. But he was always pretty upset about having to leave me alone."

I watch him as he moves around the room, rearranging a chair away from a corner and turning on the fireplace that sits just beyond it.

"Here" he says, motioning to the aforementioned chair, "You seemed cold before. I need to rinse out your hair before I cut it and I don't want you catching anything before you go out on your date."

He sounds almost venomous, why does he care so much now?

"It's not a date Hikaru, Tamaki didn't have anything better to do and just thought he ask me out for dinner. You don't exactly have a right to act jealous though considering you and I went on a date last spring."

OK so I'm lying, but he doesn't need to know the exact nature of my relationship with Tamaki, especially when I don't even know what it is myself.

Hikaru flinches slightly at the mention of our date. From my memory it wasn't exactly the best day of my life either. Chasing him around for hours after he blew up on one of my old friends, then having to cower in a church after the thunder rang so loud I could barely move.

No it wasn't the best date, Until he found me that is.

I was huddled underneath a table when I saw him burst through the doors; panting from all the running he had done looking for me. I remember being unable to speak as he sat down next to me, pulling a tablecloth out from overhead and draping it over my cold, soaked frame. I could feel his desperation as he pulled off his headphones and put them over my ears, starting a song that drowned out the world around me.

Steadily he pulled me in close and muttered an apology that I couldn't quite make out. Throughout that night I kept feeling drops on my forehead as we faced the rest of the storm together.

They must've come from the rain.

"I'm sorry." He whispers, pulling me back out of my memory and to the present. "I need to work on my temper when it comes to you being close with other people, even Tono."

I sit down in the chair he's moved for me in front of the fire, what could he mean by 'close?' Does he think that Tamaki and I are closer than me and him?

His hands are shaky at first, but as soon as he starts to cut pieces of my hair I can feel that they've stilled. The scissors make a crisp, clean sound next to my ear, and his fingers are gentle and all too tenuous against my scalp.

He's silent at first, seemingly concentrated on his work, but after a moment, he speaks. "Haruhi?"

I'm a little too comfortable to fully respond, "Hmmm?"

"What did you think of Tamaki? I mean…you guys are friends right?"

I open one eye to meet his gaze only to find he's staring directly into mine already. "What? Of course we are. You know that Hikaru."

"No I mean, did you ever think of him as. I don't know. More?"

"More?"

"Haruhi…"

Suddenly his hand covers his eyes, rubbing them ever so slightly. I sit up and turn around to face him fully. "Hikaru, what are you trying to say?"

"Nothing. I just-"

"Hikaru, you two are equal in my eyes as far as friendship, but still two very separate people. That doesn't mean that I think better of him than I think of you. Yes he's taking me out to dinner tonight but that doesn't mean you're not my friend too."

His shoulders slump as his hand moves to the back of his neck, causing him to let out a seemingly exasperated sigh. "Um sure, that's what I meant."

He spins his fingers around motioning me to return to my previous position, and I'm all too happy too oblige.

Still I can't help but detect a hint of something in his eyes. Relief maybe?

He finishes shortly after, handing me a mirror to look at his handiwork. "Very nice, thank you so much." I say while twirling my freshly cut hair, it looks even better than when he and Kaoru had first cut it.

"No problem, it's looking a little stormy outside though, I can give you a ride to Tono's if you want?"

"I'd like that actually, I won't even need an angry sidecar." I reply with a smile, at least he's trying to be nice. "And apparently I'm meeting him at a restaurant, but if you could take me that would be great."

I look up at him before he responds. His lips are curled into what looks to be a contrite smile, his necklace is dangling in front of him, touching my skin just barely. "Of course, let me get you a jacket though."

As soon as he leaves the room I notice the mess of hair clippings littering the floor around where I sat. It had really grown out hadn't it?

I make a flimsy attempt at sweeping up the hair with my hands before throwing it away in the bathroom garbage. As I lean up toward the iridescent mirror I notice that Hikaru had left the sketchbook from his room on the counter. He must've brought it with us accidentally.

My fingers trace over the fine leather cover, the letters 'Hitachiin' are displayed in gold leafing in the lower right edge of the book. The leather is slightly worn, but still looks to be a rich black in color.

Tentatively, I pick it up off the counter and open it to the first page. A woman is once again roughly sketched upon the page, adorned in what looks to be a patterned blouse with bright red pants. Chicken scratch markings of what appears to be measurements and various notes litter around the figure just as the other one had.

I lean the book toward me to try to read them a little easier. But a noise from the adjacent rooms stops me before I can read anything, "Haruhi?"

"Shit." I mutter under my breath. An envelope falls out of the book to the floor and, not knowing what else to do, I quickly shove it in my pocket before exiting.

"Sorry, I had to use the restroom." I say to him, shaking slightly from the rush of the almost being caught.

"No problem, you're cold again? Here." He replies, holding out an outfit in his arms. "It should fit, it's from my mom's collection but she won't mind if you keep it."

"Hikaru I can wear my own clothes."

"Look the restaurant Tono picked is sure to have a dress code, and this is casual enough for you to be comfortable in, plus, your clothes are covered in hair now. Just trust me alright?"

"Fine." I grab the clothes and move once more into the bathroom, ignoring the sketchbook this time as to not risk being caught. When I'm finished changing I inspect my figure to make sure everything is right. Hikaru picked a set of nice dark jeans that fit perfectly against my thin legs, a blue shirt that tightens just under my chest before flowing out to my waist and a grey coat that further accentuates curves I didn't think were part of my body before now. He was right, this is perfect.

I walk out of the bathroom beaming at the orange haired fashion guru, who looks to be mirroring the look on his face. He holds out his hand before speaking.

"See, you look great, are you ready?"

"Thanks Hikaru, and yes I am."

Those amber eyes are once again set in mine, and I find myself unknowingly leaning in toward them this time. His smile widens in response before grabbing my hand firmly.

"Then let's go."

* * *

Kyoya had looked over the files given to him by Takeru over five times since he'd received them. Looking for any possible mistake that could've brought about a conclusion such as this.

Ryo Takeru sat in the chair opposite his desk, helping him look through the massive pile of papers that were strewn about.

"Are you sure this is everything?" Kyoya says, sliding back into the executive chair in his office, his hand carefully brought his glasses off his face before shutting his eyes in a tired desperation.

"Of course sir. I'd gone over them the usual amount of times before compiling the research."

The raven-haired elitist couldn't move himself to respond. How had it come to this? Never in a million years did he expect this to be the result of the investigation. Yet now this familiar face reflected in an image across the paper, unknowing of what they were about to face.

Pushing his glasses to their familiar place, he spoke with an unsure tone, "We don't have a choice then, call the force and let them know."

"Yes sir, I'll alert Captain Itou immediately."

Takeru turned to leave the room to follow out his orders, stepping slowly as if to prolong the silence between him and his employer. Kyoya spoke just before he could leave.

"Takeru?"

"Sir?"

"I need you to alert the family lawyer, we can't defend the culprit directly but we should be able to find a decent defender for him, paid for by my personal account of course."

Takeru couldn't help but offer a kind smile to the young man, for so long it had seemed that he had not cared for many other than himself. But finally, it would seem as that would change. "Of course."

"Thank you."

As soon as Takeru left the room Kyoya found himself slumping even further into the smooth leather that adorned his seat. He breathed into the curve of the seat in an exhausted sigh, he hadn't gone to sleep yet and surely wouldn't be able to now.

For the last time in the evening his eyes shifted to the image on the paper, one belonging to his friend that would soon be put into custody in a matter of hours. The name above the image seemed foreign, unwilling to be printed alongside such a heinous accusation.

Yet still there it was, letters printed clear as day, condemning the man they belonged to.

'Ryoji Fujioka.'


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight  
_Crutch_

We arrive at the restaurant just after five; it's a French themed establishment that Tamaki had chosen on account of their "excellent hors d'oeuvres" or something along those lines.

To be honest I loathe being taken to places like these. Even after a year of Ouran exposure I still feel so disconnected to individuals of the upper class, save for the Hosts that is.

Though even they are known to slip up once in a while.

I can see Tamaki sitting just outside the building strewn about on a bench. His face shoots toward us as we enter the parking lot, revealing a vexed look marked across his delicate face.

Even though I'm wearing a helmet it looks as though he's recognized me instantly. "Haruhi! What are you doing!?" he calls out, running to greet me as Hikaru helps me out of my helmet as to not disturb my new hairstyle. I can sense his smirk over the fact that I'm letting him get so close.

"Hi Tamaki, Hikaru gave me a ride to the restaurant because it looks like it's about to rain. I had to go to his house for a haircut after Kyoya sent me a text. Sorry if I'm late!"

Tamaki looks bewildered at my response; his cool violet eyes stretch over my figure and toward the older twin. "Hi-hikaru?"

Hikaru takes off his helmet to reveal the orange mess underneath; he appears to be calm and collected, but I can see those amber eyes widening by the second. Suddenly, I feel his hand reach over the top of my back as he leans over, fingers gripping my jacket ever so slightly. "Hey Tono, I didn't know the way here so that's why it took us so long."

Tamaki still hasn't managed to wipe that look off his face. "No…it's fine, I didn't know you rode a motorcycle now Hikaru."

_Why is he being so weird, didn't Hikaru tell him?_

"Yeah it's from my grandmother's collection. Nothing too specialized, just all terrain."

The mood is fairly dark between the two teens, which isn't exactly a new thing considering Tamaki's constant demeaning comments toward Hikaru and Kaoru.

Still it seems different now.

Instantaneously a smile beams across Tamaki's face, "It's great! Thanks for bringing Haruhi I really appreciate it. By the way now that I have you both here I might as well tell you about our Club meeting Friday."

Hikaru seems uninterested, but I'm all too eager to find out the reason why Tamaki's acting so weird, _does it have something to do with this meeting?_

"We're looking to recruit new members into the club, and I'd really like it if you two came to help us choose. You especially Hikaru, you know the type of people who could help us."

I can feel Hikaru's hand begin grip a little tighter on my jacket. _What is he doing?_

He's slow in his response, "Yeah I can do that."

"Great!"

I look up at Hikaru to try to gauge his reaction; it looks almost pained, both eyebrows are furrowed and his teeth are just visible from biting his lower lip, which now looks to be bruising from the contact.

Well at least it's not the empty look.

His eyes look down to meet mine in a moment of implied silent communication, though I can't make out what it is he's trying to say. "Well I better get going, text if you need another ride Haruhi, and thanks for hanging out with me today."

"Sure Hikaru, no problem. Thank you." I raise my arm to touch his, briefly squeezing as to show a sign of forgiveness for last night's events. Though I'm sure he knows he was never in much trouble in the first place.

Hikaru's eyes widen just a little more in response to my touch. He sheaths his teeth into an equally wide grin before stepping back, "Bye Tono." He says, strapping on his helmet and sitting on his bike.

"Bye Hikaru. See you soon!"

He drives off without another word, seemingly cleansing the dark mood that had set in upon our arrival.

Tamaki is still smiling after he's left, only extending an arm to me after the last rumble of the bike fades down the street, "It's good to see he's getting better. Shall we?"

I'm not sure what he means, but for now I'd like to focus more on the looming question behind this date. "Sure." I respond, grasping his arm and allowing him to lead me into the restaurant.

The area is dimly lit, with red walls and luminescent black glass chandeliers hung in patterns on the ceiling. Seated randomly amongst the various tables are couples tending to each other, holding hands and whispering into one another's ears in an intimate sort of way.

A small shudder threatens to send my shoulders trembling. Surely Tamaki has to have noticed the romantic atmosphere. Did he chose this place for that reason?

The blonde leads me to a table that's separate from all the others. The table is decorated in various colored roses, which are reminiscent of a Hosting ploy. A few candlesticks complete the centerpiece, offsetting a soft glow across his face, causing his violet eyes to seem alive with vibrancy.

He pulls out a chair for me before seating himself, signaling a waiter to bring us some water and bread. I can't help but feel like he's putting on an act and I'm merely a Hosting guest with all of this romanticism, "So do you like it? It's my favorite place to dine."

I find myself unable to look away from the flickering flame glowing with light, "Yes thank you, I don't think I've ever had French food though."

Through the flame I see a set of violet eyes widen with interest. "Oh! You'll love it! I've taken the liberty of ordering for you beforehand, but feel free to change the entrée once you get it, anything you'd like to try tell me and it's yours."

I try to stifle a laugh but it's no use, his eagerness is just too comical. "Thanks Tamaki I'll try whatever you've ordered, I'm sure it will be fine."

His eyes light up even more at my response. Unwaveringly he continues to stare even after the waiter has brought us the first course. My dish looks semi-normal despite the rich nature of French cuisine, and I find that it tastes heavenly. "You like it?" he asks, holding a fork just above his own plate.

"Yes, it's amazing!"

"Good. Hey Haruhi do you mind if I ask you something?"

"Sure."

He's tentative to speak at first; the words are barely above a whisper. "What do you think about the decision for new Hosts? Have I made the right choice?"

I pause mid-motion, taking note of the pace of shoveling food into my mouth that I had been unknowingly keeping. With as much grace as I can manage I attempt to clear my throat before speaking, hoping that I appear to have gained a little composure.

It's true that we need new hosts, with Mori and Hunny graduated and the accident we're down to only three people, and the guests have been getting restless with having to share us even before Kaoru's death. Usually a girl's advances never went beyond verbal confessions, but recently they seemed to become increasingly…physical.

"It couldn't hurt, I mean I don't think anyone could replace what we had before, but as far as the Host Club is concerned the way we are now seems to be hurting the business more than anything. Frankly, I'm surprised Kyoya has let us go this long in this state."

The blonde's full lips curl just barely into a frown as he grabs a crystal glass filled with water and brings it to his mouth, taking a cautious sip before responding. "Well it was actually me who suggested it. Though I do agree with you, nobody will ever be able to replace the family that we had only a year ago."

His reverie clearly matches my own as he speaks, almost as if reading my mind. "But still, with Mori and Honey graduated and...Kaoru we're down to the three people, and of course we all know how Hikaru's been."

I catch myself bringing my hand to my temple in an attempt to mask any emotion involving Kaoru's name, but the mention of the other twin is just as intriguing. "What do you mean 'how Hikaru's been?'"

"With him not speaking."

"What? Tamaki he just spoke to you."

He stiffens noticeably, brushing past a hair with a delicate touch as if to distract form the conversation. "Haruhi, that's the first time I've spoke to him since before the accident, he hasn't spoken to anyone except you since it happened."

"What?" "Didn't you look at his face when he spoke to me? It almost looked painful for him to even greet me when you two arrived."

My mind shifts to the sight of him gripping my back. He wasn't using me for to balance…he was nervous.

Why would he be nervous to talk to his friends?

"I had no idea, him and Kaoru were always pretty closed off to everyone else, but not to the point of muteness. Sometimes I can get him to really talk to me about what's going on with him, but I hadn't even noticed that he wasn't speaking to anyone else."

A long finger twirls a blonde lock of hair, playing with his tresses has always been a vice of his. "It's not like we haven't tried to get through to him. Kyoya and I've visited the Hitachiin estate multiple times, only to find him locked in his room working on 'projects'"

Of course, the mess of fabric, how long does he hole himself up in his room every day?

"I went in there today, he's clearly working on something but he wouldn't tell me what it is either, it just looked like some fashion ideas though."

His eyes suddenly ignite from serene to alarmed, "What?"

"His room, it's covered in fabric. He must be working on some des-"

Tamaki's voice is noticeably strained as he speaks, "Haruhi, it's not…proper for a young woman your age to be alone with a man inside of his room. You're of marriageable age at this point and-"

"Whoa Tamaki. First of all, who are you to tell me what I can and can't do? It's not like we were up to anything he was cutting my hair which you already knew. You need to calm down."

He looks like he's been slapped by my words, but quickly recovers like always-such a knight in shining armor. "I just want you to be careful Haruhi, Hikaru is in a dark place and may seem tame and somber now. But you know how he can be just as well as I do. Those twins were always getting into trouble together."

I can feel my eyebrows furrow in anger, "Maybe you've forgotten that 'those twins' aren't 'together' anymore. You said yourself how damaged Hikaru has been acting since the accident, I'm trying to be a friend to him right now Tamaki, cause he sure as hell needs one."

He bites his lip precariously before responding, "You're right, he does need a friend, and seeing as how you're the only he'll let in at this point it seems as though nobody would be more fit to fill that role for him. But Haruhi?"

"What?"

"Don't try to save him, you'll just bring yourself down."

"_Save me"_

"Wh-What did you say?"

Tamaki's hand glides across the table and covers my own, unknowing of how his words are shaking me to my core, mirroring the reoccurring nightmare that once again ransacked my night only this morning. "I said don't try to save him. Haruhi I can tell you're not sleeping, and that you've lost weight since Kaoru's death. I know this is all part of the grieving process but I worry about you more than anything at this point. I feel as though you're pushing yourself to be something that another person wants you to be, rather than who you are. You mean a lot to me and I don't want to see you suffer."

A flush covers my entire face before I pull my hand from underneath his and bringing it to my chest. _What is he talking about? Why is he acting so strangely?_

Violet eyes grasp my attention, locking us in a gaze that seems to last perpetually in the dim confines of our surroundings. His eyelids sink to a half level as he leans in slightly toward my ever-quivering figure. His lips part slightly just before he speaks, "Haruhi…I-"

He's never allowed to finish. In a moment of graceful interruption my phone suddenly springs to life, sending a symphony of guitar rifts through the area, alerting several couples around us to shoot a disgraceful look my way.

"Sorry!" I exclaim to nobody in particular. The caller id reveals that Kyoya is calling, probably to remind me of my "appearance." Annoyed by the interruption, I make a point to reveal a callous to my voice as I answer, "Yes?"

"Haruhi, go home."

"What? Why?"

"Just go home. I've arranged a driver for you and Tamaki just outside the restaurant. Hurry."

I bring the phone closer, speaking just barely above a whisper, "Kyoya, what the hell is going on?"

The line goes silent before I hear a response.

My stomach churns at the sound of the emptiness over the phone. Kyoya isn't exactly the messenger between us Hosts, usually he relies on the easier method of having a staff member do it for him. I look at Tamaki after I've put the phone back into my pocket. "That was Kyoya, he says I need to go home, I think there might be something wrong."

He looks somber at this point, perhaps disappointed with the disturbance as much as I am. Slowly, his eyes sink back down to his plate before raising a hand to signal the waiter once more. "Don't worry about it Haruhi, let's just get you home."

"There's a car outside for us apparently. You can come if you'd like."

His lips curve into a timid smile that shows off his unwavering disposition perfectly, "Of course I'll come."

As we leave the restaurant and enter the car I find a seat just across from Tamaki. Quickly, I look around to see if the shrewd teen is with us…looks clear.

"So Tamaki, what were you going to say back there?"

"Hmm? Oh it's nothing; let's get you home alright? Ranka won't be happy with me if I keep you out too late."

"Sounds good."

We sit in silence for most of the ride, I honestly feel a little guilty for ending our date so soon. Tamaki had seemed so excited at first.

"_You mean a lot to me"_

His words echo through my mind and leave an alarming sensation; I'm not sure how to feel about what's happened in the past twenty-four hours. With Hikaru and Tamaki acting so different I've been unable to adjust to all the change that's been going on. New Hosts, lost friends…it's almost suffocating to see how much my life is changed in the past couple months.

I look across the seat to Tamaki, his blonde hair is just barely skimming the top of his eyes. His head is resting on one of his hands while the other is resting in his lap. For the first time I take note of how he's dressed, sleek black pants and a button up grey shirt with just a small amount of his chest exposed. The sleeves are rolled up to reveal his toned arms, which seem to go on forever in length.

He looks nice.

Is he trying to bring something more to this equation? He's always been giddy around me since we've met, but now it all seems so much more serious. I don't know how to even respond.

I let my head sit back on the headrest and close my eyes for the rest of the ride to my apartments. My mind surrenders to the nothingness that is promised with sleep, bringing nothing more than a pair of amber eyes to my vision.

* * *

"Haruhi! Wake up!"

I feel weightless as the familiar voice beckons my attention. It's only after Tamaki gives me a light nudge that the gravity defying feeling subsides. I hadn't even realized I'd fallen asleep.

I rub my eyes to steep ay grogginess away before I find myself confronted by a sea of red and blue light that floods though the car's dark windows; etching ominous streaks across Tamaki's face.

It's only once I look outside that I know what's happening.

"Dad!" I cry out, opening the door and racing toward a set of policeman gripping my father in handcuffs. There are at least three police cars parked outside our complex, which is littered with the other tenants who are curious to see the cause of the night's commotion.

"Don't be scared sweetie, Daddy just came home early to change and found these lovely men waiting for me." He tries to stop and face me, but the two officers on either side are shoving him into the car by now.

"What's going on Dad!" I cry out, unable to fathom the events unfolding in front of me.

The policeman shuts the door between us while the other walks toward the driver's side of the car. "Haruhi, it's about your friend, the Hitachiin boy. Kyoya will have to fill you in on the rest it seems, I just want you to know that it was all an accident, and that everything will be fine do you understand?"

He couldn't mean…

"K-Kaoru? Dad…what did you do?"

Tears have streamed across my face by now, mercilessly drenching the pavement below me. Tamaki appears just behind me as I begin to crack. His nimble hands grip onto my shoulders and peel me away from the door.

For the first time since they've met my father looks relieved to see him. "Suou, take care of her. I'll be back soon."

"Yes sir." Tamaki replies steadily. He turns me around and brings his hand over my head compassionately, allowing me to bury my face into his chest.

My father sounds pained when he speaks, obviously ignoring the embrace between Tamaki and I. "Bye sweetie, I love you."

My body wills me to speak, but I can't respond.

Before long the police cars pour out of the parking lot, allowing the sirens ringing through my ears to finally cease. In the distance I hear a faint rumbling noise, and for a second I allow myself to think that it could be Hikaru.

Oh no..Hikaru, what am I going to tell him?

Tamaki has a firm grip on my figure, most likely unaware of the fact that he's the only thing steadying my stance. I can feel his head lower as his nose touches the top of my head, breathing in deeply as he does so.

We stay like this for quite some time, standing alone in the aftermath of what I feel is the final push toward the precipice of what I am able to withstand. In spite of everything that's happened, I had thus far been able to push my emotions deep within, yet now I feel as though I am on the edge.

Finally, not knowing what else to do, I break down in his arms, sending unanswered cries through a cold starlit night.

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry this was put up so late, I've been without my laptop all day and forgot to upload it to the Doc Manager last night. I am alive though, promise! and we're still sticking to Friday deadlines here.

As always I appreciate your lovely input.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine  
_As Above_

"What do you mean you don't know! What the hell just happened Kyoya?!"

I'm walking across my apartment in a state of trance. Nothing has been moved since I left this morning for Hikaru's house. So why does everything feel as though it's been twisted upside-down?

I shudder when I think of the image of my father forced into a police car, looking up at me through those guilty eyes.

_"Dad…what did you do?_"

It's almost midnight by now, Tamaki's been on the phone for the past hour with Kyoya. I don't ever think I've heard him yell so vehemently.

"Do you understand what I've just seen? Ranka was just forced into a police car, and it wasn't the cities model Kyoya, I know your family force when I see it! Tell me what's going on!"

Trying to distract myself I move into the kitchen and make an attempt at cleaning. There's not much to clean though and I find myself looking toward the nearest object to straighten in the name of distraction. I start to move the trashcan outside before Tamaki stops me, stretching one hand over my shoulder while accosting me with those violet eyes. He mouths the word 'no' before grabbing the trash himself and taking it outside.

I move over to the counter and sink my head into my arms. The air smells almost fragrant despite the usual scent of my kitchen. I look up to see the cause, a vase filled with flowers sitting near the refrigerator.

My fingers caress the delicate petals of the display, the flowers look almost like a sculpture inside of the vase, vibrant petals of blue and orange organized perfectly with various green leaves and white buds surrounding them. Just in front of the vase lies a card addressed to me, I open it quickly and read the inscription.

_Since you haven't agreed to a sidecar OR a trip to Bali, I thought I might give you something a little more 'understated.' Thank you for forgiving me, and for always being there for me when I need it most, even though I don't deserve it. –The Infamous Dumbass, Hikaru Hitachiin_

Tears fill my eyes and blur my vision as my heart compresses into a painful knot. My hand covers my mouth and lets a sob quietly escape as I sink to the ground clutching the note in my hands.

Footsteps echo through the apartment only a few seconds later and instantly a presence is at my side. Tamaki kneels in front of my crumpled figure and rests his head against my shoulder. His breath is slightly ragged from yelling at Kyoya, but he's managing a fairly calm demeanor despite the conflict.

I feel so guilty for having this come in-between them.

His hand covers the receiver as he moves his head toward my ear; he speaks in a barely audible tone.

"It'll be alright Haruhi, Kyoya's telling me what happened, Ranka is safe."

I can't bring myself to face him, or anyone else for that matter. Sensing this he places a hand over mine and guides me through the rooms of the apartment toward my own. My usual protesting actions become dissuaded from not wanting to bother him further.

We enter the moonlit bedroom and a soft hand motions toward my bed. I'm only able to manage eye contact in agreement, after what's happened I'm exhausted anyway.

Tamaki sits down next to me for a few minutes, listening to Kyoya on the other end. I can only hear diminutive sounds coming from the other line as Tamaki's pressed the phone so tightly against his face. His hand is gently stroking my hair back and forth in a rhythmic sort of way, and for a while I allow myself to revel in the comforting motion.

In the darkness I can only see a faint outline of his silhouette, and for a moment we are but shadows flickering across the ceiling. I think back to the events of the day, Hikaru's prodding question, Tamaki's hand on mine, his breath against my neck. Is it possible he wants more in our unassuming situation? And if he does, do I return the same feelings?

My eyes are closed but I still find myself searching for the answer to my looming question. The flame ignited in my soul still flickers, but threatens to extinguish from the tension of this entire mess.

It's only until a set of amber eyes come forward that I feel my heart constrict, and for only a fleeting moment it is the innermost powerful feeling that could ring though my being.

After a while Tamaki's hand stops moving against my hair, and soon after I hear the noise of him standing up and leaving the room. He slides the door shut behind him and begins speaking once more into the receiver.

Through the door I can barely make out what he's saying, but the conversation still keeps me awake. It's one sided, but I know the subject enough to figure it out on my own.

"So was he the only one in the other vehicle?"

Tamaki's still hushed over the phone.

"Yeah…Well at least it's something to start with."

"I know, but you did cause this, indirectly or not."

His voice raises slightly in response to whatever Kyoya has said, "We were all just trying to help!"

Quickly his volume lowers once more, and I have to strain my ears to hear the next part.

"No I understand. Speaking of him-he finally spoke to me today…Yeah he dropped Haruhi off at the restaurant. He's even gained a little weight back since they've been speaking."

They must be talking about Hikaru now.

"I don't know, he makes me nervous. I'm not sure how she feels about this whole thing yet… I tried Kyoya, but I just couldn't say it. I don't want to ruin this."

He pauses for quite a while after that, though I can still hear him shuffling across the floor. Through the screen of the door I can see his shadow bend down; presumably to grab the note I had dropped in the kitchen.

"It looks like he left her some flowers and a note. Jesus they're beautiful; when did he have time to make this?"

Hikaru had told me that his grandmother was well known for her flower arrangement art, I thought it was her who made the gift. Is it possible he did it himself?

Even in the darkness I know that I'm blushing, Hikaru's never been once to be so thoughtful, the note alone was a sweet gesture.

Tamaki speaks again, "I can try talking to him but I doubt he'll want to respond. You know as well I do what he's trying to do."

"…Don't be coy Kyoya."

"Yeah I could do that. It's worth a try at least."

"Sure, sounds like you have everything under control already. Thanks Kyoya I shouldn't have doubted you. I'm sorry for losing my temper...Yeah I'll tell her, I think I'll stay here for the night just to make sure she's alright. She's been through a lot these past few weeks…Of course, bye."

I can hear his phone shut before he moves again, the shadow of his figure floating across the screen toward the position of the living room. Oh good, he's sleeping on the couch.

Satisfied that all seems quiet for the night I turn to face my demons, paralyzed by the fear of the storm that lies just before me. _Mom, I wish you were here, what am I going to do now?_

Then from out of nowhere, I find myself struck by inspiration.

Tentatively, I reach for my phone in my pocket, and send out a message into the night that I hope wouldn't go unrecognized.

Finally my eyes close, and I give myself to the husk of this reality.

* * *

A single noise rang through the night as Hikaru Hitachiin pulled up into his estate for the evening. The stars above had seemed so much brighter when he had left, but now they had all but dimmed completely, creating a sky as dark as his fate.

He had known better than to invite Haruhi over alone, though he thought it best to ignore that instinct.

He had known better than to design a floral arrangement for her, though he thought it best to ignore that as well.

And he had known better than to return to her apartment for a third time that day, just to make sure that she had liked the arrangement he had made for her. Hikaru had never been one to worry about another's feelings, but it was this new sensation that caused him to once again return.

It would seem that it was in this decision his fate was cast.

He heard the sirens miles before reaching her apartment, they sounded like cries emitting from the dead of night.

His hands became tensed against the handlebars in correlation, powered by the fear of losing someone so precious. The other vehicles became but blurs around him as he steered toward his goal, half of him being driven by the need to protect _her_, the other paralyzed by the threat of having another die before him.

In record time he found himself pulling up to the intended destination, but something seemed wrong.

There were no ambulances like they were in the accident, only police cars filled the area now, flooding the environment with cascading reds and blues that reflected ominously across the apartment's façade. The scene looked chaotic, but not dangerous.

It was only until he saw her, wrapped in another's arms that his breath began to hitch.

Tamaki looked as though he had Haruhi in a vice grip, his tall frame bent around her like metal, holding her in an embrace that she seemed all too happy to submit to.

Her cries were the worst part; it was a sound that glued Hikaru to the spot, frozen atop his motorcycle with identity sealed behind his helmet.

To his left, driving slowly as to not disturb the public any further, was an Ootori family squad car, emblazoned with the mark of the prestigious family. In the front, Hikaru recognized the captain of the guard, solemn face and eyes burned into the task of the road.

In the back of the car Hikaru came face to face with Ranka, sealed behind a thin sheet of glass. He looked straight at Hikaru for what seemed an eternity, silently communicating a confession that would shake the orange-haired boy to his very core. The fathers' eyes were what ignited the rigidity first, bringing back the pain that came with recollection.

No, it can't be possible. Ranka would never do that to him, he couldn't…

Instantly the memories came flooding back to the front of his mind, the glass shattering, the blood appearing in the midst of the fray, the amber eyes of his brother begging for release.

And then…nothing.

Quickly, with a single burst of energy, Hikaru felt his hand twist once more against the accelerator. He fled from a scene that had haunted him for so long, but was now nothing more than a memory, one that he would never fully escape.

Inside the car the guilty father could do nothing more than mouth the words 'forgive me' into the unforgiving night.

Now, finally alone in the foyer of the mansion, he allowed himself to open his phone to read the message that Kyoya had sent hours ago.

**Hikaru, we've found the driver. I can't tell you who it is but I can say that I'm sorry.**

Hikaru walked up to his room, leaving his helmet on until the door shut softly behind him.

It was then in the solitude that he finally let it set in.

"God Damnit!" he yelled, hands gripped firmly to the back of his helmet. He flung it off with ease, sending it flying across the room along with his phone; both items emitting a sickly cracking noise upon contact with the opposite wall before finally settling uselessly on the floor.

The outburst did nothing to quell his anger.

Hikaru searched his room for any object that he could destroy in the hopes of calming his torturous being. The lamp wouldn't do, nor the sketchbooks littering his bed; with nothing suitable to find, his hands came up to either side of his head, taking in fistfuls of hair near the top of his ears.

There was pain in this motion, but nothing compared to what he was feeling.

He screamed as his body sank to the floor. Screamed at everything in this world that had slowly been eating at his soul since birth. He screamed at the memory of all those people who took no care in learning who 'the older twin' really was. He screamed at the girl whom he would never be able to confess his feelings to.

He screamed at God for taking away his little brother.

Then he screamed to him once more for not taking him instead.

And when he was left breathless, cold and alone on the pale moonlit floor, he found himself silently willing God to take him; to bring him out of this binding world just as he had the younger, 'better' twin.

He thought that maybe, just maybe if he wished hard enough, Kaoru would take his place in this world, surely he would be the person that Hikaru wasn't, the person that everyone wanted, the person they deserved.

Kaoru could deal with a twin's passing; he could forgive the person that did it too. He could even comfort Haruhi in the time she needed it most, instead of relying on her to save him.

But try as he might, it was still Hikaru there on the floor, constricted by the life ruthlessly given to him by divinity.

He brought his knees to his chest, eyes unwilling to rest for the night.

His body stayed in that position for over an hour; paralyzed from the unanswered cries he had bled into the empty room.

Till' finally, a small light sprouted from across the room, releasing melodic piano notes that seemed to melt his frozen demeanor.

Slowly, he crawled his way to the light, pushing any obstructing objects that came his way, until he reached the source. His phone had miraculously survived his frenzy in tact, and was illuminated with the words '1 new message' on the screen.

He opened the message with the upmost care, as if to possibly break the device by eagerly pushing a button at this point. Slowly, he read it over and over until the words on the screen were burned into his mind, as they would forever be the words that saved him from the brink of ruin.

**I've never seen something so beautiful as the gift you've given me tonight. And no matter what happens Hikaru, just know that I will always be the one you can turn to. So regardless of your infamous dumbassery, you're stuck with me. See you Monday.**

A small sensation came into his body, fluttering throughout his stomach and up into his chest before ultimately resting just behind his lips. He brought his fingers up to his mouth only to find that the sullen look on his face had been replaced, and a soft smile was in its place.

_"You're stuck with me."_

He closed his eyes, reveling in the flutter that now rang through his being, and let out a small, but oh so meaningful laugh. It was a laugh that grew in ferocity until tears streamed across his face, healing the mental scars that were inset into his form so much deeper than the physical ones.

He clutched the phone to his heart, feeling the beating motion in his chest that rung alongside the flickering motion in his body.

Hikaru had never been a reverent soul, but it was there in the aftermath of a breakdown, that he found himself grateful to a divinity that he knew still cared.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: **This is quite the long chapter you guys, the longest one so far actually. I'm just loving the feedback I'm getting from you all (so let's call it a 'reward' and not me getting carried away yeah? Brilliant.)

Before I go, quick question for all my readers: Which pairing are _you_ rooting for? I know I have some HikaHaru fans out there and a couple TamaHaru, but what about ya'll in the back? Any of us rooting for some HoneyHaru or MoriHaru? Can I get a HikaKao out there? (which would be weird, cause you know...he's dead T_T) Let me know!

* * *

Chapter Ten  
_Your Beats_

_"Come on Haruhi you can't just keep making up excuses."_

_"I told you I have to study, I'll lose my scholarship if I don't get the top score on the exam. If I go to Italy you two will keep me up all night with your stupid pranks and I'll end up failing."_

_"Please?"_ _I look to my left to see Kaoru Hitachiin making what could be the most convincing pouty face of all time. Those amber eyes are as big as plates, "No, and you pout just like your brother."_

_"My brother pouts like me." He replies, springing himself back onto the blanket laid out for us as a part of the Hosting 'end of year' special. None of the guests have arrived yet, but when they do Kyoya's sure to have us all lined up to greet them._

_I'm dressed in a ceremonial kimono that's in a coordinating color of the other Hosts, which supposedly is designed to give the guests a sense of periodical history from Japan's feudal era._

_To me it just seems like another way to waste an outstanding amount of money._

_"Hey, didn't we already dress up like this for the cherry blossoms?" I ask, trying to change the subject of going anywhere alone with the twins, even if they did go through the trouble of getting me a passport I still can't just go to another country on a whim._

_Kaoru's eyes remain closed as he lays sprawled across the soft cotton fabric, "Different era Haruhi, and don't change the subject."_

_Damnit, Kaoru never let's me off the hook._

_The March air is so fresh here at Ouran, and even though Honey and Mori will be graduating soon it's nice to have one last Hosting event together._

_I sigh while looking down at the orange-haired boy, his soft features seem to be glowing under the spring sun. "Kaoru, why would you even want me to go? Hikaru's been angry with me for more than a week now after I left you guys to go get Tamaki before he went to France."_

_"He's not angry with you, you know how he can be when it comes to the people he's close to. He was scared of losing Tamaki and even more scared of losing you after you jumped off that bridge-"_

_"I did not jump!"_

_"Whatever, the point is he's all tensed up and just doesn't know how to express himself right now, he'll get over it though I promise, now come with us please."_

_I let out a hearty laugh before he sits up next to me with curious eyes, one eyebrow is cocked slightly upwards and soft lips are pursed ever so slightly. "No, maybe another time."_

_He looks to be feigning a frown, but remarkably recovers before responding. Glowing pale skin beams in my direction, carrying a smile that could melt ice. "Fine, but Venice is my favorite place so you'll have to come sometime with us! I'll show you everything there is to see Haruhi. Museums, fashion shows, the best café's you could ever eat at, whatever you want!"_

_I sigh at his enthusiastic offer. The twins are always getting me to do whatever they want with them; can't I have one moment of peace?_

_"Kaoru, I'll come another time, just not now OK?"_

_Off in the distance I can see Mori talking to Hikaru, and for the first time in days the older twin flashes a smile to the giant before him. I can't help but smile at the sight of him looking so happy._

_Next to me Kaoru turns around to spot whatever I'm staring at. He casually laughs before turning back to face me._

_Before I can say another word his hand gently grips my chin, pointing my head directly at him, his amber eyes softly reflecting an image of my own. A smile reaches his face as he leans in to my body, touching his forehead to mine. His necklace clings against my frame with an innocent chime, and I can feel my heart beat just a little faster alongside the sound._

_His eyes are closed, but the power he expertly wields is much stronger than anything eyes could communicate. "You promise?"_

_In the distance I can see Hikaru looking over to Kaoru and I sitting on the grass. He begins to stand out of his chair before walking to us; it's the first time he's paid attention to me all week._

_"Hey Kaoru, you better not be trying to steal our Haruhi all to yourself!"_

_I close my eyes and smile, realizing that Kaoru planned his move perfectly to get Hikaru's attention. Slowly, I press my forehead into the younger twin's, silently communicating my gratefulness to my levelheaded and tenacious friend._

_"Promise."  
_

* * *

Light bleeds into my world once more, and I find myself lingering on the glow behind my eyelids, willing them to bring back old memories.

Sadly my eyelids unkindly chose to remain silent; stealing the visual of a time I wish would've lasted forever.

I open my eyes before disappointedly before coming face to face with another set of beady black ones.

It takes a moment for me to recognize what I'm seeing. "…Usa-chan?"

I grab the large stuffed bunny set in front of me and push myself up into a seated position onto my bed. Beyond the door I can hear hushed whispers of unannounced Hosts, normally I'd be irate at this intrusion, but they are more than welcome on this day.

At ease that nobody is in the room with me, I hug the bunny to my chest before setting it down on its place of origin. I push myself off the bed and toward the mirror in my room, taking note of my appearance when I do so. My newly cut hair is whirled in all directions from sleeping so soundly, and I'm still wearing the clothes that Hikaru had given me the day before.

…Hikaru!

I sprint across my room remembering the text I had sent last night. Knowing Kyoya I'm sure what happened has been relayed to Hikaru by now.

I look at my phone to see that no new messages have come in, and after pushing back the sting of defeat I glance toward the time, only to find that it's already four in the afternoon.

"Ah!" I exclaim at the realization of sleeping almost fourteen hours. I don't think I've slept more than eight in the past five years!

I manage to shred off my clothes and replace them with much more plain looking ones from my own wardrobe. Despite having a mess of hair and lack of shower I decide to face whatever Tamaki could have planned on the other side of that door and step out into the hall.

I've made it no more than three steps before I'm tackled by an exuberant Honey.

"Haru!" He cries, clutching one arm to my neck and the other to my head. He's still shorter than everyone else in the Club, but now that we're standing so close I am astonished to see that he's grown quite a bit since graduating.

He speaks in quick-burst sentences "I'm so sorry we're late-I've missed you so much-how have you been-did Usa-Chan surprise you Ithoughthewouldmakeyoufeelbe tter and-"

A steady hand pulls him by his collar before he's able to finish, "Mitsukuni, give her space."

A frowning Honey looks up at his indifferent cousin whose towering above him, "B-but Takashi, Haru needs us!"

Mori smiles down at the blonde before nudging him toward the living room. He looks at me next, pausing briefly before pulling me in an embrace.

"Everything is going to be fine."

I'm stunned by this sudden display of affection and I'm sure the poised 'wild type' is well aware of it. However I'm able to mutter a small 'thank you' before he pulls away, his complexion as pink as Honey's favorite cake.

Another voice calls from the living room, "Haruhi! We've prepared a meal for you!"

I can't help but cringe slightly at the thought of any meal "prepared" by a pair of rich, bored Hosts. Despite this Mori smiles at me before motioning to follow him into the living room.

Set before us are six huge platters filled with food, all of which manage to cover the table below them entirely. Tamaki, Kyoya, Honey, and Mori are all looking at me with an anticipated smile as I sit down to join the Host gathering, taking note of a certain orange-haired boy's absence.

"I hope you don't mind." Tamaki says before grabbing utensils, "I figured you could use your family at a time like this."

Tentatively I pick up my chopsticks and pick up a piece of sushi, unaware of where exactly this food could be coming from. Of course it tastes divine, the best I've ever tasted in fact. I can feel my stomach start to grumble in appreciation, oblivious to the fact that I'm still being looked upon.

"This isn't my family." I say between bites of sushi.

I correct my unintended bluntness at the sight of Tamaki's watering eyes, "But it is really thoughtful of you guys, I hope it wasn't too much trouble."

Honey smiles before taking a huge slice of cake onto his plate, "It's no trouble at all Haru!"

Although it's comforting to be surrounded by my friends I can't help but look around the room in search for the missing puzzle piece, "So…Where's Hikaru?"

Tamaki flinches from my comment; the flowers from Hikaru are still resting peacefully in their vase on the counter. My heart begins to beat rapidly at the thought of last night…Hikaru, I really wouldn't blame him for avoiding me.

"Right here."

Like a response to my thoughts a familiar voice rings through my doorway, causing my eyes to shoot in its direction. Long legs, thin frame, amber eyes, and…

Dark hair?

"Hi-ka-ru?" I say his name as if testing it out. "What did you-"

"Yeah I know it's dark." The boys says, taking his shoes off and walking over to us, "I meant for it to be a light brown, but it came out as this ashy auburn-ish color. I figured I'd just go with it."

He takes a seat directly to my right, his figure being followed by the curious eyes of four Hosts. Unwavering of everyone's attention, Hikaru brings his hand to his face before turning to me, mouthing the words 'Thank you' with an indistinct glow in eyes.

I return the gesture with appreciation, smiling from ear to ear.

"Ahem."

Everyone turns their attention toward the glasses clad figure at the head of the table. "If everyone's all settled, I'd like to talk about what's happened. With your permission of course Haruhi."

My smile fades as I nod slowly to him, knowing full well of the subject matter.

"As we know, I'd sent the Ootori force out with a task to find the driver behind the accident. It had taken longer than I'd expected, but two nights ago I was made aware of the identity, or rather-identit_ies."_

Hikaru's eyebrows furrow as my breath begins to hitch, Tamaki's eyes are still pointed directly at me. "Unfortunately one of these individuals was not who we had expected, and last night Ranka-Haruhi's father-was taken into custody."

The memory is still fresh in my mind, and I stifle a shudder as he continues. "Now, I've had my family attorney take the liberty of finding the best defender possible for your father Haruhi, and our candidate has already proven himself worthy of the job. Unfortunately we can't have any direct ties with the Ootori name itself but I assure you he's competent to say the least, he was able to not only relocate Ranka into a safer holding area until his trial, but it has come to my attention that he was also able to persuade him into confessing that he was in fact not the driver, despite our previous notions."

I sigh gratefully, but remain perplexed. "Then why is he still being held?"

Kyoya pushes up his glasses skillfully in order to hide his features. "He wasn't driving when the accident _occurred_Haruhi, but he was somehow convinced into taking the wheel afterward, therefore making him an accomplice. Not only that, but it took him a few hours even after custody to finally admit the identity of the actual driver, which turned out to be a coworker and apparent friend who had been giving him a ride home at the time. We've taken the actual offender into custody, however considering the death of a high profile member in society Ranka is still looking at a rather hefty sentence. We'll do what we can, and I can assure you everything will be taken care of, but you will probably have to be on your own for a while."

Tamaki interjects valiantly, "But you don't have to be all by yourself Haruhi! I'd gladly stand by your side during this time."

"Me too! We can all keep you company Haruhi, and you're welcome to stay at any of our homes!" cries Honey

Mori nods.

Kyoya reveals his eyes to the group once more, "At your request of course."

I look around the room at all the expectant faces before my gaze falls to Hikaru. Amber eyes are staring directly into me with a reassuring grin plastered on his well-defined face. Something seems wrong though…shouldn't he be angry?

Shouldn't I be angry?

"How long?" I say, turning back to face Kyoya.

"Right now? The lawyer anticipates he can get a sentence of three to five years, which considering the charges is very gracious."

I swallow hard, failing at the feeble attempt to not tremble and cry yet again. _What am I going to do now?_

Suddenly a reassuring hand reaches over underneath the table and squeezes my knee, sending a shivering ray of warmth up my spine. I stop myself from turning to my right, and instead take a deep breath before responding.

"OK, I can do that long, I really appreciate it Kyoya." he relays a tight smirk at my gesture, leaving me to turn to face everyone else. "Thank you all, I'll be fine staying here alone though."

Tamaki looks deflated, "Please let us take care of you Haruhi!"

"No Tamaki, I don't need it. Besides it wouldn't exactly look good if I were to stay with any of you."

The other Hosts gesture excitedly; Tamaki resumes a comfortable pouting face.

"That's not all Haru! Tell her the rest Kyoya."

The raven-haired teen pulls out a notebook seemingly from nowhere, and begins scribbling into it furiously. "This was going to wait until Friday, but seeing as we're all together I figured we could hold the Host meeting now. First being that we'll be auditioning new Hosts on Wednesday, with a recent string of demand we're thinking of adding two to three new members as well as a possible new assistant-"

I smile at the sound of familiarity, the rest of the Hosts are enthralled by Kyoya's droning over daily affairs.

"Also there are two other pressing matters. The first being an end of year event, in which we will need to start preparing for now if we want as large of a turnout as last year. The other is concerning the matter of winter break-"

Tamaki interjects before he can finish, "We want to go on a uh…Kyoya?"

"Your words were a 'family vacation.'"

"Right!"

"What do you mean by vacation?" I ask.

A set of glasses reflect my blurry figure, "Each of us could come up with a place to go, and we could decide from there which would be best for the Club. It would be a way to integrate the new Host as well as acclimate them to the way the Club operates outside of Ouran."

"Not to mention us being all together again!" Honey chirps.

"Yes, I suppose that could be considered as a factor."

My index finger presses to my lips in a thoughtful sort of motion, I do have a passport now and am caught up in all of my studies…a break could be nice.

I look up to see five sets of eyes on me, colors shifting from bright amber to ebony black, and I realize that the one determining aspect in this plan is my opinion. I shrug to offset the mood, "Fine."

The lighter haired boys (including one recently auburn-haired) each reveal a smile in my direction; the pair of dark haired teens feigns interest.

"It's decided then." Tamaki says, slapping the table with his hand in a finite sort of fashion. "As the Host Club King I elect that the location of our family vacation be none other than New York, America!"

Why does he always act so chipper around the other Hosts? Just last night he seemed so much more…down to earth.

"Why not Sweden?" Honey chimes. To no surprise Mori nods in agreement.

I look to Hikaru expectant of a response and see his nose scrunch in thought. "Bali?" he says, mirroring the card he'd written the previous night.

Kyoya's still scribbling in his notebook from each of the Hosts requests, his eyebrow's slightly furrowed from having to deal with so many personalities. It's pretty obvious this 'vacation' idea wasn't his own.

_Glowing pale skin beams in my direction, carrying a smile that could melt ice. "Venice is my favorite place so you'll have to come sometime with us! I'll show you everything there is to see Haruhi. Museums, fashion shows, the best café's you could ever eat at, whatever you want!"_

"Alright" Tamaki says after a moment. "We could each pick places at random using the hat and paper folding trick! Let's all-"

"What about Venice?" I mutter almost-silently.

Tamaki's mouth is agape at my suggestion.

Honey smiles fervently and while Mori remains stoic there appears to be interest reaching his eyes.

Hikaru raises an eyebrow, probably in realization of what exactly I'm suggesting.

A pair of onyx eyes point in my direction, "Venice?"

"Italy."

"I'm aware of the location of Venice."

Suddenly my shy suggestion becomes even more reluctant. This is the first time I've asked the Hosts for anything other than food. I look down at my hands resting in my lap, which are clenched slightly from nervousness. "Well I've never been to Italy and it seems like it would be-"

A voice stirs to my right, "It was Kaoru's favorite place."

My voice barely speaks above a whisper now, "…Yeah."

Two fingers push up thin frames, "Well then. What about Venice everyone?"

Three heads nod.

"Hikaru? Would that be alright with you?"

I look to my right expectantly; I hadn't even considered the implications of stirring up memories for the older twin.

I'm greeted with nothing more than a generous smile, one that hasn't seemed to fade from his face since he walked in. "Venice is perfect."

Tamaki speaks up this time, wielding what looks to be discontent despite the smile on his face. "Then it's decided, we'll go to Italy. We'll celebrate the family we've lost, and welcome new members in the process."

Forever the diplomat, Kyoya closes his notebook in response. "I'll begin making preparations."

"Yay!" A boisterous Honey breaks the mood; seemingly unaware of the brief mourning we'd all just taken part of at the mention of Kaoru's name. "Haru, can we watch a movie tonight? We'll make snacks and CUDDLE."

His last words seem unintentionally overwhelming, peaking volume at the mention of contact between each of us. Even Mori looks slightly surprised at the outburst of his cousin, but manages to save the offer, "Neither of us have to be to work tonight, I've ordered dinner already."

I look down at my empty plate, stomach growling once more despite the feast that had just filled it. I haven't eaten that well in a while. "That's fine, you can go pick a movie to watch if you'd like."

In a flash of blonde Tamaki and Honey both race to the living room, shouting demands at the other once they reach their destination. Hikaru looks to me before holding out his hand, the contact of our fingers sends a shiver up my spine. "Let's go." He says.

I sit between a tall blonde and an all-too quiet auburn-haired boy, and together join in the best gift that I could've been given by these wonderful and crazy friends: A distraction.

I suddenly cannot wait for winter.

* * *

An illuminated screen reflected a soft light onto the former Hosts delicate face. Eyes that look as though they were filled with cream awake to the sound of static pouring into the dimly lit living room.

He sits up, slightly irritated from interrupted slumber, and makes an attempt at embracing his surroundings. The environment brings only a small recollection to his mind, and it's only until he sees the sleeping image of his overgrown cousin that he began to relax.

"I must've fallen asleep," muttered the barely conscious Honey, his eyes still threaten to flutter with the lingering sleepiness that usually would've consumed him.

The blonde attempted to stumble off of the couch he had been laying on, only to find the motion awkward and unforgiving. The former Host had only grown a meager three inches since graduating, but it was enough to make a noticeable difference in his movement.

He suppresses a gasp as his body stumbled across the living room, taking care of the others who were sleeping on the floor. Kyoya, he noted, was nowhere to be found.

He did a mental count of the other Hosts; it was a protective instinct he found difficult to suppress. Takashi had fallen asleep on the other side of the couch he had been laying upon, his cousin's soft eyes were closed just barely as if preparing to awaken on a moment's notice.

Tamaki was resting on an armchair across the room, his mouth was starting to form a tiny pile of drool on the armrest. Honey couldn't help but giggle at the sight, knowing that the young 'king' would be appalled at the thought of something as unsavory as drooling.

Then there were the other two.

Small lips curled into a frown at the sight of the two youngest Hosts. Haruhi was fast asleep on the hard floor, her arms flailed about in a way that signaled unrest, yet she seemed to be at peace for the moment.

More disconcerting however was the newly dyed auburn-haired boy, whose arms were wrapped around Haruhi's thin frame. His nose was buried in her fine hair, which only added to the inappropriateness of the imagery. Honey could only sigh at the sight, assuming minor disappointment.

The small blonde walked toward the sleeping boy silently, stepping over the girl he was wrapped around. His palm moved to the boy's shoulder, nudging him only slightly as to not disturb Haruhi.

Amber eyes fluttered at the motion, pausing for a moment to address the scene. Hikaru stretched slightly before nuzzling his nose further into Haruhi's neck, sighing softly as he did so.

Honey took note of how content he had looked in that moment.

In an instant the auburn-haired teen flinched when his eyes finally met Honey's, awaiting a punishment he was sure to receive. But the small figure only smiled at him, signaling with his fingers for him to untangle himself. Hikaru did so accordingly, but not without a blush covering his entire face.

Honey bent down slowly, pushing his arms under the sleeping girl with a soft ease that revealed some mastery behind it.

He lifted her in his arms effortlessly, leaving behind the perplexed looking adolescent sitting upwards on the floor. Hikaru had not seen this side of Honey, and couldn't help but notice the hurt in his eyes that was inset just above his ever-present smile.

It would seem as if him and Tamaki weren't the only ones who were enthralled by her presence.

Honey walked down the hall toward Haruhi's room. The girl was still fast asleep, moving only to wrap her arms around his neck-which he told himself was only a reflex.

He had to remind himself quite a few times after that it was 'only a reflex.'

Despite being a master of the fighting arts he could only feel powerless in her presence, words turning to liquid at the mere mention of her name.

Try as he might Honey knew he would never master the secret to obtaining the one sweet he would never have.

When he had finally made it to her room Honey felt himself sigh once more. He lowered her down to her bed as easily as he had lifted her off the floor, pausing to memorize the image of her sleeping figure.

Without even thinking he moved his hand and caressed her cheek, moving in a soft rhythm back and forth until he found himself mesmerized by his own actions. He knew it was anything but honorable to display affection toward a sleeping, but he decided to allow himself to indulge in this depravity just once.

When he was satisfied with the thought of making her more comfortable Honey moved to grab the stuffed bunny he had left for her. He hugged Usa-chan to his chest, reveling in the fact the bunny now held a new smell of the person he had always felt close to.

He laid the toy next to Haruhi once more, willing that she would find as much comfort in it as he had.

It was only until he had almost left the room that he noticed something lying on the floor, a tinge of white that contrasted to the darkness around it.

Ever the curious one, Honey found himself picking the object out from underneath a discarded pair of jeans. It was an envelope, small and unassuming.

He looked on the front, the word 'Hikaru' was etched in light blue ink on the cover in Kaoru's course this only peaked Honey's attention.

The blonde checked behind him to make sure that Haruhi was still asleep, and with as much carefulness as he could manage, opened the envelope. Inside was a handwritten note, along with a few pictures. Honey stared at the pictures with interest, cream-filled eyes lifting from one to the other.

There was a photo of Takashi and himself smiling, in the background an illuminated Ferris wheel spun. Honey remembered the likeness belonging to a trip they had all taken to the carnival, a memory that was held close to his heart.

Another photo captured a stoic Kyoya, pushing up his glasses while looking away from Tamaki, who was running toward the nearest bathroom. The blonde was green by that time, astonished that something so fun looking could induce so much nausea. Honey let out a silent laugh.

The third picture was a group photo; Tamaki, Mori and Kyoya stood in back while the twins, Honey and Haruhi were in the front. The twins held a perfectly symmetrical pose while a smiling Honey had his arm wrapped around a surprised looking Haruhi; everyone in the back looked as is they were ready to leave.

The final photo contained Hikaru, Kaoru, and Haruhi. One of them (Honey could only assume Hikaru) had one arm wrapped around Haruhi while the other arm held a large piece of cotton candy up to her mouth. Haruhi's mouth was open in a large smile as she bent down to take a bite of the pink fluff. On the other side of her was Kaoru, who was the only one facing the camera. His head was resting on Haruhi's shoulder, displaying one of the most elated smiles Honey had ever seen the younger twin contain.

The blonde put the photos inside of the envelope, choking back tears brought about by his fallen friend. He decided against opening the letter on account of respect for Kaoru and put the envelope neatly back in its place.

Honey looked once more at the sleeping figure, heart constricting at the pain he knew she was going through. Her lips were parted slightly by now, and she seemed to be mumbling nearly incoherent sounds in her sleep.

"Goodnight Haru." Honey said, exiting the door.

As he walked back into the living room he found Hikaru to be staring at him in confusion. Honey chose to ignore him and laid back down on his previous spot next to his cousin, only daring to close his eyes after he heard the auburn-haired teen lay down himself.

Honey made a promise to himself as he laid there in the dark, one that would be remembered till the day he left this earth.

He vowed to protect her, the frail girl sleeping in the other room.

For if he could not be the love she wanted, he would be the shield she deserved.


	11. Chapter 11

I hope you like them otherwise, as always I look forward to hearing what you have to say!

* * *

Chapter Eleven  
_What May Come_

Three figures stand before me, each giving unwavering attention to the loquacious blonde figure in front of them, only looking away once in a while to the deceivingly quiet onyx haired teen scribbling in his notebook.

A harsh voice speaks to my right. "Why is Kyoya giving Tono the lead on this one? He knows how long we'll be here because of it."

I turn to the auburn-haired boy, "I thought you knew the answer to that, Tamaki complained that he didn't have any say in the auditions. So Kyoya left him to it, besides it can't be that bad."

Hikaru motions to the statuesque blonde muttering something about dignity and honor for the 'princesses.' "He's been on this speech for over an hour."

I make a failed endeavor at stifling a laugh, "I guess you're right."

I attempt to open a book before I feel a pair of dark eyes burning a hole in my back; I spin around to look at Kyoya with a disapproving look, one that he matches perfectly.

'What?' I mouth to the teen with furrowed eyebrows. He twirls his fingers and silently forms the words 'Pay attention' with his mouth.

Seemingly defeated, I turn to face the latent Host wannabe's once more.

Hikaru let's out a long, drawn out sigh before resting his face on his hand, "This is so boring." He says, ever the one to lose focus first.

I look toward him expectantly and instantly become aware of the fact that his eyes are already directed at me; amber coloring glows through half lidded eyes and pale lips part ever so slightly. A whirring motion enters my head at the sight, causing me to unknowingly bite my lower lip.

We stare at each other for quite some time before he tentatively speaks. "Hey Haruhi why don't we-"

"I said, assemble fellow Hosts!" A voice beckons in front of us, causing us both to whip our heads in its direction. Tamaki's staring at us with arms folded over his chest in this sort of disapproving fashion. Behind him are three figures who have yet to pull the confused look off their face.

"Each of these candidates have elected to stay outside while we interview them individually."

He sounds so enthusiastic at this laborious task, and both Hikaru and I sigh at his prospect.

This is going to take a while.

Kyoya and Tamaki come to join our table as the three others shuffle out. A few minutes later, one of them lumbers back in, and each of us are handed a folder of his information by Kyoya.

"Kenji Saitoh, correct?" The onyx haired teen poignantly questions.

"Yeah that's right." The boy answers abruptly. He has pitch-black hair that reaches almost to his mahogany eyes in length. He's short, but still a few inches taller than I am, maybe even the exact height that Honey is now.

All in all, this candidate looks fairly normal.

Except for the fact that he doesn't look a day over the age of ten.

I look at the file before me, 'Kenji Saitoh' is printed in neat lettering above the small boy's yearbook photo; 'Class: 2A, Height: 5'2", Age: 16' is just below it. This boy is in my class but I hardly recognize him, could he be new to the Academy?

I look to the boy once more; the expression on his face seems almost rebellious in the afternoon light.

He must be interviewing for the 'Loli-Shota' position.

"Saitoh's a fairly common name. Though I see here that your family owns several restaurants." Kyoya asks almost pointlessly, we all know that our esteemed 'cool' type has probably researched the kid far beyond what's on a plain folder.

Kenji remains indifferent despite the overpowering figure that lies before him, it's almost as if he has something to prove.

"Gonpachi-among others." He says after a minute of silence.

Hikaru leans over to me, speaking barely above a whisper, "Isn't that the one where they filmed that movi-"

"Yes."

Tamaki, Hikaru and I all cringe slightly at the super-hearing capabilities that the boy in front of us must wield. "There's no way." Hikaru says, shivering slightly.

Kyoya scribbles a note on his paper.

Tamaki recovers quicker than Hikaru and I, but still seems to be a little creeped out by the cranky candidate. "So Kenji, why do you want to be a part of our club?"

Kenji sighs as if feigning boredom, a small hand brushes through his dark hair and he keeps his eyes closed as he responds. "I don't know. My cousin said it was a good idea, he seems to think whatever this 'Host club' thing is worth wasting an afternoon on." His eyes open, and I find rich mahogany instantly pointing in my direction, causing me to shiver from the sudden attention. "Now I can see why he thought so."

Tamaki freezes, narrowing his eyes at the small youth, "You'd be best to keep your wandering eyes to yourself candidate. Just who is your cousin anyway?"

His eyes never leave me "Ritsu Kasanoda, and I wasn't aware he was anyone's property."

_He?_

Hikaru looks to me in interest, covering the side of his mouth that is pointing toward Kenji. He softly mouths words that I can barely make out, 'He still thinks you're a boy.'

I raise an eyebrow in question. 'Gay?' I mouth to Hikaru in response. Beside us Tamaki stares intently at Kenji, who is still staring intently at me.

"HE is not anyone's property no, but as the esteemed 'natural' type of the Host club as well as your possible future mentor you would do well to show your respect." The blonde replies coldly, stiffening at the sudden rigidity he's attempting to wield.

Tamaki never liked Kasanoda, so I'm not surprised he's not warming up to one of his cousins so easily. Still I don't think I've ever seen him quite so protective as he is now.

Kenji shrugs, finally peeling his gaze off of me. "Fine then."

Glasses reflect the room's image. "So you're related to Kasanoda? Interesting, does that mean you have ties to the Yakuza as well?"

"The Saitoh family have little to no connections with the Kasanoda's, I see Ritsu at school but beyond that we don't talk much. He's the heir after all, not me."

I bring my fingers to my face to hide a semblance of wonder, is there some bad blood between the two families? He seems as though he must be holding some sort of grudge.

"Alright, well thank you Kenji, you've made it, we'll come get you when we're ready." Kyoya says, despite a flabbergasted Tamaki that sits to his right.

Hikaru speaks in a whisper just meant for me, "Well The Boss isn't going to like this."

"He'll get over it." Kenji says, stunning us once more at his seemingly ridiculous capacity for hearing, Tamaki questions us as to what he's talking about, but the older twin only shrugs as a response.

I turn to Kyoya with peaked interest and minor annoyance, "Why him Kyoya? We have two other people to audition."

Violet eyes match my interrogative disposition, "He's not even remotely friendly, I don't see how he'd make a good addition to our family an-"

"Enough." Kyoya says, holding up a hand to both our faces. "The Saitoh family is very well-known throughout Japan for their cuisine. Kenji's father has already offered the Host Club free catering if we let his son join."

Hikaru is first to speak this time, "Why's that?"

Two fingers push up thin frames, "Well It seems that our candidate has a slight issue with making friends."

I sigh at his response; despite the fact that he's a little rough I can't help but feel bad for Kenji. I know the students here can be the worst kind of people when it comes to anything different, maybe he has issues because of his short stature and young appearance? Or maybe his relation with the Kasanoda's makes people nervous?

Either way I'm sure it'll come up eventually.

"Next candidate come in!"

Kyoya yells toward the door. Shiro Takaoji walks in next, I remember him, but only vaguely. He'd stumbled in the Host Club about a year ago looking to be Tamaki's 'apprentice.'

He makes it no more than five steps before Kyoya speaks up. "No Shiro. You're not even in middle school yet."

Tamaki's eyes glow in disappointment, "B-But…my apprentice."

So much for giving him the lead on the auditions.

Shiro's voice sounds like it's at it's maximum volume, "Come on! I'm too young to join a bunch of cross dressers who work all day to impress carps!"

Hikaru is the next to respond, "Go home Shiro, we've helped you enough."

He exits shortly after, muttering under his breath something about the twins. Hikaru winces at his remark, obviously hearing whatever the young boy said more than I was able to.

Kyoya takes of his glasses and rubs his eyes in exasperation, "Alright, let's get this over with. Next candidate!"

The door remains closed.

Kyoya stands up, the black hairs on his head seem to spike in rigidity with his frustration. It's been a long day for all of us. "I said, NEXT CANDIDATE!"

I wince at the sound of Kyoya's outburst; I don't think I've ever heard him yell.

A few moments later a tall figure comes shuffling through the door. He looks bewildered at the contents of the room despite having just been here. Kyoya hands us the folder with his information. 'Hale Kingsley' is printed in neat letters, though there's no picture to go along with it.

The teen stops just before us, displaying a grin wider than I thought possible on a human being. He looks to be almost as tall as Mori, though on the folder it reads that he's only 15 years old.

The tall figure wields a fierce set of light green eyes and messy dirty blonde hair that's cut short and swept upwards; it's pretty clear that he isn't Japanese either.

I look to the folder once more and see that he's recently transferred from an academy in England.

The candidate lifts a hand and waves to us all nervously, "Um…Music?" he says, holding out a guitar that came seemingly from nowhere.

Hikaru is the first to speak, "What?"

Hale points to the sign on the door behind us, reading 'Music Room 3.' He motions back to us, speaking slowly. "I am Hale Kinglsey, from Buckinghamshire, England. Uh…" He pauses and looks down at his guitar, as if looking for his words. "This is a group right? A…club?"

His accent is terrible; he must not know how to speak the language very well.

Tamaki looks to Kyoya in wonderment, it would seem as if he didn't realize that Hale can barely speak any Japanese, and it would also seem that Hale doesn't exactly know where he is.

Kyoya doesn't look back to Tamaki, and instead motions to the still-smiling figure in front of us. "Well Hale Kingsley, this is a Host Club, not a music club, and-"

"Host?"

"Yes Host. It's a…entertaining girls club?"

I can't help but smirk at Kyoya's attempt to dumb down the word Host, he's making it sound like we're a bunch of escorts.

"Ahhh" he says, pushing his two index fingers together in a sort of defeated fashion. He looks disappointedly to the guitar in his hands, as if blaming the instrument for the misunderstanding. "Well, I can be an entertaining girls..."

Hikaru snickers to my right, as one of the only Hosts who speaks a little English I find it rude that the auburn-haired teen hasn't tried to help. I smack his head in disapproval, "Let him try out." I say, "We need him anyways, at least this one seems friendly."

Tamaki smiles toward me, "Very well. Candidate, show us what you can do."

The princely blonde motions to the guitar in Hale's hand, and seemingly excited, the tall teen complies at the chance. He begins plucking at strings to begin a sort of soft melody, before opening his mouth to sing something in English.

_**/One night to be confused, one night to speed up truth. We had a promise made, four hands and then away…/**_

Hikaru leans in to hear the hidden talent of our newest candidate. Tamaki smiles.

_**/To call for hands of above, to lean on. Wouldn't be good enough, for me, no.../**_

Kyoya scribbles something in his notebook, and I find myself unable to look away at the figure before me, enthralled by someone who seems lost inside of his own haunting song.

_**/And you, you knew the hand of the Devil. Any you, kept us awake with wolf's teeth sharing different heartbeats in one night.../**_

To my right Hikaru nudges my shoulder, and I tear myself away from the image to look straight into amber eyes. He looks excited, and nods as he motions his head toward Hale. Tamaki wipes a tear from his eyes, despite the fact that he probably has no idea what Hale is even singing.

Looks like we found a winner.

_**/To call for hands of above, to lean on. Wouldn't be good enough./**_

He ends his song with only a few lingering notes, sweat glistening just slightly above his brow. I look toward Kyoya whose eyebrows are still furrowed in confusion, we can't really have someone who doesn't know how to speak Japanese, but I still find myself willing the dark haired teen to let him in.

Thin frames reveal dark eyes, "Hale, how long have you been practicing Japanese?"

He sets the guitar softly behind his back, the strap tightening as he does so. "Two months…"

"Hale, we can't really have someone who doesn't-"

"I read and…hear more than speak." He says, pointing toward the sign behind us once more as if to prove to us his 'reading' capabilities.

He rubs his head again; giving us a better pouting face than even Tamaki could produce. "I do not have any…companions in Japan, so I thought that the 'entertaining girls club' could be my companions?"

Hikaru snickers again to my right, attempting to mask the sound in what should to be a cough. Tamaki nudges him, and nods in his direction, followed by Kyoya.

"Alright Hale, you're in." Hikaru says, followed by more nods from the other two Hosts. Kyoya speaks up next, "Under a probationary contract, you'll be the new assistant to start, speak with Haruhi to learn your duties."

He motions toward my figure sitting at the end of the table, and I'm not even able to open my mouth with a greeting before a six foot tall teen is shaking my hands in crazed excitement. "Thank you! I will be a very good assistant!"

Even after he stops shaking my hand my body still feels like it's rocking back and forth, this kid is strong.

"Alright, thank you Hale. Hi." I say up to the smiling teen. Green eyes meet me with an ecstatic glow, one that causes Hikaru to laugh and Tamaki to shudder.

"Thank you every man." He says before exiting.

If Honey were here he would've already labeled the English teen as 'cute, but helpless.'

I turn toward Kyoya as the boy exits, still not confident that we've found exactly what we're looking for. "Kyoya, that was pretty nice of you to let Hale in."

My mirrored reflection is pointed at me as Kyoya turns toward me. "Another teen belonging to a prestigious name, plus we needed a new 'wild type.' There's nothing more behind it."

"He acts more like Honey than he does Mori Kyoya." Hikaru mutters, "But if you think he can be a good 'entertaining girls' then by all means."

"You don't like him?"

"I like his music, but after this entire day it seems like kind of a waste that the only thing we've managed to do is collect two misfits with no friends."

Tamaki brushes his hand with his hair, "Like you were when we found you?"

His interruption seems to keep everyone quiet for quite sometime. He's right though, from what I've heard of everyone else's story none of us had friend before the Host Club, maybe this is a place for misfits.

The auburn-haired teen gets up to grab his helmet on the other table before motioning to me. "Yeah, like me. You coming Haruhi?"

Tamaki cringes as I stand up, catching the helmet that Hikaru tosses my way. It's pretty apparent that the older blonde doesn't exactly like me riding around on a motorcycle, but I'm not going to be one to turn down a ride home.

"Yeah I'm coming." I say before turning back to the two Hosts sitting at the table. "Honey's ordered dinner again to my apartment, he said you all are welcome to come."

Both teens decline, stating they have some sort of business to attend to.

"Alright then." I say, walking toward the exit toward an impatient Hikaru. We pass Hale and Kenji once we're outside; the taller teen waves excitedly while the smaller rolls his eyes.

Hikaru smiles at them before speaking through his teeth, "I don't know about these two…"

"Give them a chance Hikaru. Weren't you the person who said you were 'expanding your world?'"

He plants his hand on the small of my back, causing me to flash a shade of red his way. "I think it's expanded enough don't you?" he says, pulling me in what must be the most flirtatious way possible.

I attempt to feign interest, trembling slightly under his touch, that familiar whirring motion returns to the back of my head. "Let's go."

And so we ride past the two new Hosts, toward fallen leaves and golden sky.

But I still can't get my mind off the look in his eyes, the heat from his touch…

What's happening to me?


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve  
_My Escape_

"What did you just say to me?"

Two twins stare each other down in the cavernous room of the Hitachiin estate. One, the younger, trembles slightly under the harsh scrutiny of his older brother whose fists are clenched in the potential chaos of the situation.

The younger twin brushes a strand of orange hair before turning away from his reflection. "I said…I think I'm in love with her." He unknowingly corrects himself without thinking. "With Haruhi."

His voice is shaky, but despite this he tries to stay rigid. This will not be the night he backs down against his brother.

He will not be deterred, not when it comes to this.

"I know what you said Kaoru, I was giving you a chance to change your mind." The older twin spins around incessantly, bringing two trembling fingers to his forehead in frustration. "How could you do this to me?"

"I'm not involving you in any way Hikaru I-"

"What! You're the one that pushed Haruhi and I together, you're the one who tricked us both into that date, and you are the one who's cried to me at night hoping nothing ever changes between us all." He spits in fury, words cascade through the room like fire. "Yet here you are, acting as the one who strikes first, as the one who is trying to change EVERYTHING."

Kaoru could only wince at the sound of the escaped yell from his brother; Hikaru had always been the one who was first to anger. But never before had Kaoru seen it this directed or this fierce, and in this moment the younger twin knew it was all pointed at him.

The end goal of all this threatened to lose sight. How did this all begin, was telling him the right thing to do?

"I'm not trying to change anything." Kaoru replied, speaking barely above a whisper. "I didn't set you two up on a date to be hurtful, I just thought-"

"You thought what! That it would lead me to believe you had absolutely no interest in her? Well you'd be right about that Kaoru!"

He lets out a long, drawn out sigh; this isn't going anywhere.

"Hikaru, you've seen what she's capable of, in the short time we've known her Haruhi's opened us to an entirely new world, one that for once in our lives we're actually taking part in. She makes us better, she makes _me_better."

The older twin narrows his eyes, if only he knew that these words contained more truth for him than they did his sibling.

After an eternity of silence, he speaks, harsh toned and threat level apparent. "You're not going to tell her."

"What are you going to do to stop me."

Amber eyes are unable to tear from their counterparts. Kaoru had never stood up to his brother like this before, so why now? Why were they both so determined about another person?

Because this wasn't just any person, it was Haruhi they were talking about. A girl who unknowingly had become the first person either twin allowed into the secrecy that had previously surrounded them like a thick fog.

And now that the prospect of her belonging to one of them more than the other had come into play, Hikaru could only feel himself scowl in disgust.

What was this feeling that entered the older twin; anger, jealousy, spite?

Selfishness.

That was it: selfishness. Hikaru had always been forced to share with his younger brother but he had never minded until now, because Haruhi was not something that was to be shared.

And she most certainly was not someone that was going to be claimed from him.

Their eyes portrayed more emotion than either one of them could admit, reflecting the only difference in the twins inside of them, that of the speckled patterns weaving through the amber irises.

True, they had both wielded that same amber hue since birth, but if one were to look closer the difference was apparent. Hikaru had light blue fractals running rampant through his entire iris in a chaotic array of color. Kaoru on the other hand, brandished forest green flecks that appeared to be nearly symmetrical.

This was the only difference either of them had been able to spot in each other since birth, and Kaoru had never had the heart to tell him that it was the reason Haruhi was able to tell them apart from the beginning.

Before either of them could speak, a voice beamed from upstairs, drawing them out of their silent duel. "We're ready to leave you two!"

It was their mother, who had apparently just gotten ready for the fashion event she was holding for the night.

Kaoru had actually picked this night in particular in the hopes that Hikaru wouldn't make a scene; being around fashion had always calmed the older twin's temper.

However Kaoru was too quick to confess the heavy burden that had been weighing on him for so long, and now it would seem that the night was all but ruined.

"Coming mom." He said, straightening his tie and walking out the door. A few moments later he heard Hikaru follow, seemingly unaware that for the first time in years the two weren't stepping in perfect harmony.

"There you are." Yuzuha Hitachiin spoke as soon as the twins entered the foyer, clasping her hands together in scrutiny. "Kaoru dear, your tie is crooked." She said pointing to the wrong twin. "Have Hikaru help you."

The older twin sighed as his sibling went to adjust his tie, both of them ignoring the mix up in their proper identities. Their mother was never known for her ability to decipher her own sons.

It was a pity really, but not something to linger on.

'This isn't over' Hikaru mouthed to his orange haired reflection. Kaoru could do nothing but meet his gaze, feigning yet another wince that he hoped would not waver his already defeated disposition.

He hoped that despite whatever they were both feeling now, the end would justify the means.

"That's better." The matriarch of the Hitachiins declared, "Now boys. This new line is very important to me, and you two have the important task of keeping up the Hitachiin appearance. You are both works of art; so act like it."

"Sure."

"Yeah."

Amber eyes met each other for a final time that night. Kaoru's set in awestruck surprise at their sudden incompatibility, while Hikaru's were pointed only in anger.

Did he even notice the slip up? They had always responded in the same way to such an easy question.

Hikaru was the first to look away, storming out of the door and into the warm August evening. Kaoru followed shortly after his mother, willing the relationship between brothers to be stronger than this fleeting moment.

He looked up at the stars, envying them for their simple lives as mere observers to the world below. The night sky had always been the object he looked to for comfort, yet the starlit night seemed to be dimming before his very eyes.

"Hurry up Kaoru!"

This is going to be a long night.

* * *

This is going to be a long day.

An exuberant six foot tall Host is zooming through the kitchen at record speed, occasionally knocking over packets of tea with an extended awkward limb. We've been at this for over an hour now, and before today I would've though it impossible to have had so much trouble in teaching someone how to make instant coffee.

Oh how I was wrong.

"This way?"

Hale hands me a steaming cup of coffee, blackened from being slightly burned. He has improved in the eternity that we've been here in the backroom, and as a result I've even managed to pick up on some of his strange half-Japanese half-English way of speaking.

For example, the phrase 'this way?' being muttered while handing a person a cup of burnt coffee is a round about way of asking if one is making said coffee the right way.

Which, in this circumstance, he is not.

"Close." I say after taking a reluctant sip. "Turn it off sooner."

I make a motion with my hand indicating how one would turn off a dial on a coffee pot so that he understands what I'm saying.

It would seem that in this hour I've not only managed to fail at teaching an Englishman how to make perhaps the easiest beverage in Japan, but I've also accomplished to play a pretty fair game of charades.

"Ah." He says, still wielding that gigantic smile on his face. "This way?"

I peer once more into a recently made cup and find that it's actually close to the right color and even taste properly made this time.

"Yes" I say in an exasperated tone.

Hale reminds me of Honey and Mori if you mixed them together inside of one person, he seems to have the strength, height and (occasionally) shyness of the tall cousin, and the light hair and sunny disposition of the smaller.

I wonder if he needs afternoon naps too.

"Let's get you into costume." I say motioning toward the dressing room; the other Hosts have already started without us.

It's been two weeks now since our two new Hosts have arrived and it is apparent that they were both the right choice to make, despite our shaky first encounters. I don't think I've ever seen the Club filled with so many guests before.

"Costume?" Hale asks when I hold up the pin striped suit and fedora style hat for him to wear. Tamaki has declared today as American Prohibition Era gangster day in favor of doing something new, but it still seems like a waste to me.

"Yes this is yours to wear, meet me outside when you're done and you can start serving everyone." I reply, true to his word Hale seems to understand Japanese better than he can speak it, which seems contradictory, but I haven't had the heart to mention it yet.

"Good." He says before taking off his shirt in an all too quick fashion. Of course he's as toned and muscular as the other Hosts, and I find myself blushing at the sudden unwanted exposure.

"Wait till I'm outside!" I exhale before briskly walking out the door, Hale gives me a wondering look while his shirt is caught on his head, but thankfully doesn't press the issue further.

Once I'm outside I see just how many guests have arrived this afternoon, the entire Music room looks to be filled with a sea of yellow dresses and overdone makeup. Each Host is at their respective tables save for Kyoya who's off skulking in some corner scribbling in that damn notebook.

I walk across the room to the table where Hikaru is sitting with six or so other girls surrounding him. "It's pretty busy." I say to him before sitting down, the girls around us all hush to hear what we're talking about.

"Kyoya's been holding specials, he even released a copy of this weird 'bio book' of Hale and Kenji."

"Do they know?"

"Kenji does, as always he seemed irritated. Hale just sort of did his dopey smile and walked away."

Hikaru makes this face in what would seem as his attempt at trying to mimic Hale, his eyes are as wide as plates and his mouth is agape in an excited manner that I don't think I've ever seen on the former orange-haired boy.

I throw my head back in a desperate attempt to control my laughter, and before I know it we're surrounded by at least ten other girls.

They speak in hushed tones as to not disturb us, but I can still make out what they're saying.

"Oh that's so sweet of Haruhi to take after Hikaru in his time of need."

"They're so cute together!"

"Star-crossed lovers!"

Excited shouts and giggles soon begin to pour from the entire side of the room, and before I know it an outstretched hand is pulling me in.

"They're right Haruhi, you're so sweet to take care of me." Hikaru says as he pulls me in closer; my complexion instantly sparks from pale to bright red. "Who will ever take care of you though?"

His fingers begin to caress my cheek, and the contact feels like fire against my skin.

This wouldn't be unusual behavior for Hikaru four months ago though, he always did an act like this with Kaoru.

So that's what this is, only an act.

Then why am I letting this get to me this much?

The girls around us lean into to our intertwining figures, but I'm barely aware of them. Hikaru speaks just above a whisper, "If you want, maybe we could take care of each other…"

Time around us begins to slow, and I find myself becoming painfully aware of what's happening. My chest feels as though it's ready to spill out onto the floor from beating so fast, and I'm all but powerless to stop it.

_This is just an act; he's doing it for everyone else. _I repeat over and over to myself.

But even as I look into those eyes, I can see they're as wide as ever, and his fingers are trembling against my heated skin. He's nervous; which could only mean that this moment…

Is real.

"What are you two doing?" a small figure leaps in between Hikaru and I, separating the contact between us instantly. I look over at him through a head of black hair and see the disbelief marked across his face, almost as if he's relieved.

"We're Hosting Kenji." Hikaru says after a minute of collecting his composure, a bead of sweat comes across his brow and the girls around us sigh in disappointment.

"Didn't look like Hosting to me, but what do I know?" the small teen says while crossing his arms, causing the girls to direct their attention toward him.

"He's so cute when he pouts!"

"I'd love to just smother him with affection!"

Kenji's eyebrows peak in interest, suddenly forgetting his interruption. "Would you now?" he says while spreading his arms across the two of us pulling us in. "What about the three of us then?"

And the crowd goes wild.

"Forbidden love times three!"

"So sexy!"

"So unprovoked!"

"Tea?"

We each draw our attention to the tall figure that's randomly appeared before us holding a tray of jasmine colored china.

"Hale?" I ask pointlessly, I had all but forgotten leaving him behind to change.

Kenji releases us muttering something about ruining his fun but is still sure to collect all of the girls back toward his table, leaving the three of us alone.

Hale sets the tray down before us, sighing heavily as he rests his head against the back of the chair. "The princesses are very…"

"Crazy." Hikaru responds with his trademark smirk, Hale only nods his head in response.

The auburn haired teen leans into the tall figure, "Here's what you should tell them..." he says before whispering something into Hale's ear. The teen's eyes peak as he nods into whatever Hikaru is saying, "Thank you Boss." He says before picking up his tray and walking to another table.

Hikaru laughs heartily, "I'm pretty sure he thinks everyone is 'Boss'"

"He calls me by my name, what did you tell him? And what was the deal back there?"

"Hmm?"

"Pulling me in like that, you were doing the whole 'brotherly love' thing on me."

"I don't think that's what it's called if you're not my brother."

"Then what was it?"

"It was fun, now watch." He's a little too quick to answer, and almost refuses to look me in the eye when he says it. But I don't have the energy to press the matter any further and instead direct my attention to the new Host walking up to Tamaki's table.

"Hale." Tamaki says, brushing away a strand of hair, he motions toward the flock of guests around him, "Princesses I'm sure you've each had the pleasure of meeting our newest assistant Hale. He hopes to be a full fledged Host one day but the poor dear barely speaks a lick of Japanese."

Like clockwork a regular guest of the statuesque blonde speaks up, "Tamaki you're so valiant to take some poor soul in, the hardships he must come across!"

"What spirit you have!"

Hale smiles at the clueless girls surrounding the two and begins to pour each of them a cup of tea. "Princesses." He says while the liquid begins to steam. "Your bodies make me very hard."

My mouth drops, "You didn't…"

"I did."

The entire room goes silent save for the sound of pouring tea. The girl Hale had directed his 'compliment' to is latent with sheer incredulity; Tamaki's hand is still frozen in his hair.

Finally, she opens her mouth to speak, and I cringe at the verbal abuse Hale is about to receive at her hands.

"So cute!"

"He's helpless! And so sexy!"

"I'll be your translator any day!"

Tamaki's guests each flock around Hale, smoothing out the wrinkles in his suit and fawning around his every move. Bright green eyes flutter with suspicion before he let's himself relax, laughing slightly under the confusion of the situation.

Hikaru sighs next to me, "Well that wasn't what I was expecting."

"What does he think he's saying?"

"Your beauty has no comparison!" He responds, waving his hands in a dramatic way to emphasize how ridiculous that phrase already sounds.

"You are the worst kind of person." I say through a laugh, clutching my ribs from the jolting motion coming from them.

Hikaru starts to laugh as well; tears pouring out of his eyes from the ferocity. "I know, I know."

Across the room Kyoya looks up at us, eyeing darkly through mirrored lenses. This doesn't do much to quell either of us however, and before I know it both of us are on the floor writhing in laughter.

After a moment Hikaru speaks, and I'm instantly aware of how close our faces have come to each other once again.

"Let me take you home again, I have a surprise for you." He says to me, eyes peering just barely below a messy field of auburn.

"S-sure." I manage to stutter out before we both rise again to claim our helmets. The girls start to flock out of the room, and eventually all we're left with is a few Hosts and empty tables.

"Great job today everyone! I hope you two are excited for the trip that's coming up in a couple weeks!" Tamaki beams.

"Venice? It's not like I haven't been there before." Kenji says from the shadowed area of the room, "But it would be nice to have some alone time with each of you."

I manage a faint shudder at his creepy proposal; I'm pretty sure Kenji still thinks I'm a boy, but I'm never sure which gender he's aiming for. Do I ask him and end all this speculation?

"Kenji don't be creepy." Hikaru says, putting his hand once more on the small of my back, "Come on Haruhi. See you guys later."

In the distance I notice Tamaki's eyes glow with what looks to be anger, but he completely silent as we both walk out of the room and into the parking lot.

Hikaru throws me a jacket out of one of the saddlebags of the bike, but in a confusing manner motions me to get on the bike before he does.

"What are you-" "I'm teaching you to drive, it'll be fun." He says, pointing to the seat once more. "Trust me."

Tentatively I swing a leg over the seat and grip the handlebars, feeling off balance as soon as he gets on behind me. "Hikaru I don't know…"

He grabs my hand and puts it over several components, "Brake, Accelerator." He points to a metal bar near my feet next, "Clutch. That's all you need to know, everything else is similar to a car, except only two wheels and a lot more fun. Just be careful when you start it beca-"

"Like this?" I ask gripping the handlebars once more. Suddenly the bike lurches forward, causing me to give out a loud yelp before it stops again.

"Because it can jump if you do that…" A voice says behind me. I look down to my waist and see that his arms are wrapped tightly around my figure, much in the same way that I hold on to his chest. I breathe a sigh of relief that he didn't choose the same location to grab onto, and start the bike once more.

This time it whirs to life, and before I know it I'm driving down the road to my apartment. Leaves fly past us in fall's ever lingering embrace, and I'm unable to contain the smile spreading across my face in the freedom it brings.

"See, you're a natural." He says, occasionally directing me whenever the situation calls for it.

After a minute of silence I'm confident enough to bring up conversation. "Thank you Hikaru, this is amazing."

He grips my waist tighter in response, and even though he's in back of me I can sense that smirk across his face. "No problem." He says, "You've seemed so stressed lately I figured you could use a break."

"Speaking of stress, Kyoya says that my father was transferred again, a minimum security prison this time. He said I'll get to call him as soon as the lawyer's done getting everything."

He pauses for quite some time before responding, "Oh?"

"Yeah, it's about time right?"

"I guess."

Uh oh…

I slow the bike down as we near my apartment; to no surprise Honey's driver is parked in one of the spaces across the street. Honey himself is probably already inside.

"What's wrong?" I say while getting off the bike, he follows shortly after and begins to unstrap my helmet.

He looks straight into my eyes and exhales a long drawn out sigh, "Haruhi I just don't want to talk about your dad. I think it's pretty obvious why."

"What do you mean?" "You know what I mean, the reason he's in prison as we speak."

"You don't think he's to blame for Kaoru's death do you?"

He winces at the mention of his brother, and tries to look anywhere but at me when he speaks. "He was in the car Haruhi…what am I supposed to say?"

"He had nothing to do with it!"

Suddenly we're both trying to overpower each other's volume, "He didn't have to get in the car! He could've stopped his so-called 'friend' from driving too! But he didn't Haruhi, and now my brother's dead because of it!"

We're both shaking from the outburst pouring out of our figures; I don't know what to do anymore.

"What am I supposed to do Hikaru? He's all I have left."

"Is that what you think?" He says, grabbing onto my shoulders as he speaks.

The trembling motion from his hands is only reflected in ferocity by my entire being, and I suddenly find it difficult to look him in the eyes.

"You don't have to choose someone who's already let you down, you have all of us…You have me."

"If you're expecting me to choose between anyone, then I've already let you down."

His eyes close as I visibly see him start to disappear inside of himself. Tears start to prick the corner of my eyes.

Please, don't do this to me; don't let it all end because of this one moment.

Before I'm able to react I'm pulled into an embrace by the figure before me. His rough hands clutch my entire frame like a prayer, and I can hear him exhaling softly into my ear.

It's only until I begin to feel wet droplets rolling onto my shoulder that he timidly speaks.

"I'm sorry. I just don't know what to think, I don't know if I can forgive him yet Haruhi."

I'm torn on the impulse to argue with him or comfort him at this point, he's right to be angry. But if I acknowledge it too that does that mean I feel the same way?

Does it mean I'd be turning my back on family?

A memory of an orange-haired teen comes to mind, one with glowing amber eyes that wield iridescent green flecks throughout them. He's smiling, happy because of something as simple as an ordinary day…

And I'll never get to see him that way again.

"Me neither." I say, weaving my arms along the lonely sibling's frame; he feels warm, like an everlasting sun between us. "But I have to try Hikaru."

He let's out a long, drawn-out sigh and I can sense his entire figure visibly relaxing. Eventually he pulls away, finally looking into my eyes, and together we make a silent promise that breaks the darkness in each of our souls.

"Then I guess I will too."


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:** _So how long has it been? Two, three months? I'm sorry everyone-I've been busy with finals and the like. Rest assured I will not leave you hanging! Fracture will be completed and it will not disappoint!_

Update may not be as frequent as they were before so I hope you all will stick around with my lazy ass writing. But I love you all and send you internet love for keeping up with the adventures of Haruhi and the Host Club! Unfortunately this chapter is a little more transition then anything, but stay tuned for the good stuff. And as always comments/crits are appreciated!

Chapter Thirteen  
_Try_

_Where am I?_

_The air smells fragrant, and when I breathe it in I can feel a warming sensation flowing through me, delivering a silent promise to be whatever I need it to be._

_I turn to my right, nothing but the grass in the field I'm laying upon. Is that where I am? A field?_

_I turn to my left. Someone's there with me, smiling at me with amber eyes._

_I feel his name on my lips even before I hear it echoing through the air, the sound it makes feels as sweet as the surrounding air._

_'Kaoru'…_ _He's lying next to me on the grass, one arm is supporting his head and the other is stretched out in front of him. He never stops smiling. "Close your eyes" he says, leaning into me to cover my eyes with his hand._

_I feel something heavy drop in my own hands as I let him keep my eyes covered; he's giving me a present, how sweet._

_Despite being comforted by his presence I can't help but feel a distant thought in the back of my mind trying to nudge it's way forward. Am I forgetting something? How did I get here, did Kaoru bring me?_

_I struggle with this thought and resolve to ask him, but when I speak I find myself unable to hear my own words. I can't hear anything now._

_All of a sudden everything feels so cold, I'm shaking from lack of warmth. I open my eyes to find that nobody's there anymore. I am alone._

_"Kaoru!" I cry out, my voice has returned. I look down at my hands. I'm holding something, something heavy, something metallic._

_It's a knife._

_Before I can get a hold of my surroundings I'm faced once more with the haunting white room of my nightmares. I shudder and clutch the twisted metal to my body, willing myself to wake before I see what's coming._

_A streak of orange cascades into my view, and I know already what I'm about to face._

_I watch in horror as Hikaru sits just before me, bound to a chair. Shallow cuts are projected across his face and body; his left leg is bleeding profusely, and a new, fresh gash is visible through his shirt under his ribline. Yet even worse are his eyes, they've been sewn shut. The thread that binds them is tethered to his face by his hand, which is gripping the needle tightly._

_Despite my plea he doesn't speak, all he does is sit there in his grotesque state._

_The words 'save me' are being emitted from an unknown source, repeated endlessly through my whitewashed surroundings, the sound is suffocating._

_I drop to my knees in front of him, clutching the knife in my hands. "Hikaru…" I mutter before bringing the metal to the thread binding him. Is this what I need to do, to save him?_

_Tentatively I cut the thread, and before I know it his entire body crumbles into ash with it, leaving me with a shining line of thread and the smoke of the aftermath surrounding me._

_The disembodied sound still vibrates clear as day. "Save me-Save me." The words seem to tear across my being, over and over._

_"Hikaru!"_

_A familiar voice rings through my ear, and a hand stretches out to grab the thread. Soft fingers grip it out of my hands, and cover my eyes once more. Encasing me in the only thing more frightening than the white room._

_Complete darkness._

_"You hold it…"_

* * *

"STOP!"

My entire body jolts as I spring upward out of my bed screaming. Light hasn't yet entered my window, but I'm already aware of where I am.

Footsteps rattle through the hallway, and before I know it my door is being ripped open.

"Haru!" Honey cries out, the small blonde's hair is in a twist of knots that only makes his entrance more incredulous. "Are you ok?"

I cover myself with the blankets on my bed before responding, "Just a bad dream Honey, what are you doing here anyways?"

His entire body loosens as he exhales loudly into the room, "Don't scare me like that Haru. There are dangerous people out there!"

"Honey please, what are you doing here?"

"Oh." He nervously declares, bringing his hand to the back of his head. I notice for the first time that he's wearing a loose tank top and pajamas covered in pink rabbits. "Well Kyoya told Tamaki that Mr. Fujioka was going to be calling you today, and I just thought you would want someone there for you..."

His demeanor shifts from worried to shy instantly, crossing his feet together so his toes are touching. The entire scene makes it seem like he burst into my room because of a nightmare _he_ had.

"Alright." I say, bringing my fingers to my eyes in frustration. "I guess you can stay. But you don't need to watch over me like this Honey, I told you all that I would be fine on my own."

A smile beams across his face, and just like that the old Honey is back, "Of course Haru! But I bet you like having me and Takashi over every day anyways!"

Before I respond he leaves the room humming a song that sounds oddly familiar, and despite the fact that his presence is unexpected. I find myself thankful for it more and more.

Shortly after piano notes fill the room and I reach over to grab my phone and check the screen; it's a text from Hikaru.

**Tono's coming over to everyone's house to check and see if we're all ready for Venice, he's already been to my house and I bet you're up next.**

_Seriously?_ We're not even leaving for a few more days!

…And since when do I need to be checked up on by every goddamn member of the Host Club, next thing you know Kyoya will be over to see if I've brushed my teeth properly!

I grumble an exasperated moan as I clamber out of bed, leaving my blankets wadded up behind me. I hit 'reply' on my phone and type a response to Hikaru.

**"Is this really necessary? I'm sure you'll change my luggage before we leave anyways!" **

**"I have absolutely no idea what you're referring to."**

He's being coy, but he knows very well I'm accusing him more than anyone of sabotaging my travel items. Last time we went somewhere I opened my suitcase to find a triage of frilly dresses and bathing suits, all of which I'm sure were collaborated with my father beforehand.

**"I'm going to tell Kenji where you live if you do it again." **

**"Pssshh I'm going to tell him where YOU live if you don't let me do it again."**

"Bastard" I mutter to myself before closing my phone. I'm sure Kenji is already aware of where we both live by now, but he's still a fun subject to bring up in threats regardless.

Shortly after I've put my phone in my pocket it vibrates again.

"Speak of the Devil." I mutter aloud when I recognize Kenji's number on the screen.

**"WHY IS TAMAKI AT MY HOUSE AT SEVEN IN THE MORNING!" **

**"Welcome to the Host Club."**

I can't help but laugh at his impeccable timing. Despite being so unsure about these two new Hosts in the beginning they've really started to grow on me, and after almost a month and a half together I have to say I couldn't picture the Club without them.

Even if they are a bit cranky in the mornings.

My phone vibrates again, and it's Hikaru this time.

**"But seriously, good luck today. Tell me how the call goes."**

I smile and clutch the phone to my chest. After our argument over my father I had to admit how scared I was the Hikaru would turn into a mute again, or worse group me in with the blame he felt toward my father.

But thankfully it would seem that the older Hitachiin learned a thing or two from his more levelheaded brother.

Kaoru is a more comfortable subject with us now. Whereas before the entire Club would partake in short mourning periods at the mere mention of his name we're now learning to celebrate the short time we had with him.

It almost feels like cheating with how easy everything has been lately.

I'm almost ready before my phone springs to life on the bathroom counter once more.

The number is one I barely recognize, but still belongs to what I've been expecting.

My heart races as I push the button to answer and bring the receiver to my ear, "Hello?"

"Hi sweetie…"

"Dad?"

He sounds weak, but there's a tinge of happiness in his voice. Tears come to my eyes at the slightest sound of his voice, and I laugh at how ridiculous I must look crying on the phone.

"How are you? Is school going all right? Tell your daddy everything!"

"I'm fine dad." I say while wiping away my tears, the conversation starts to flow easier than expected. "School is fine, Christmas break is almost here and I'm done with all of my tests. The Host Club is pretty busy, we've added two new members."

"I know, Kyoya told me, Hale and Kenji right? Are they nice?"

"Yes."

My heart wretches inside of my chest, should I bring up Kaoru?

"Haruhi, I wanted to let you know how sorry I am…"

"I know Dad, b-but you have to understand what you did-what place you put me in."

"I know sweetie. Not a day goes by where I don't regret it."

"Tell me what happened."

He sighs in a ragged breath before responding. "Well, Tachibana and I had just finished working the late shift. You remember Tachibana don't you?"

A vague image of a man dressed in women's clothing comes to mind, tall with dark hair and worn, tired eyes. "Yeah, sort of."

"Well a group of men invited us over for a few drinks, and considering they had been polite customers we had both seen it fit to join them. We ended up staying far past closing time, and eventually Tachibana got a text from his little boy asking where he was."

"Alright."

"Well Tachibana knew he was drunk, but insisted on taking me home as it was on his way to his apartment. I knew better but it was raining, and I didn't exactly feel comfortable walking alone at night. A girl has to protect herself!"

"Dad, please."

"Yes sweetie. So we were driving, and at some point it started to rain even harder than before. The car started to swerve along the road, and before I knew it I looked over to see that Tachibana had fallen asleep! I grabbed the wheel, but I couldn't see very well. And all of a sudden all I could see was pitch black, and next thing you know the windshield is cracked and I see this big metal thing twisting in the air with glass flying all around it."

"The limo?"

"It was fairly small for a limo, it looked more like a black car. Anyways, I got out shortly after and went looking for the people who were in the car. It was dark so I had some trouble, but eventually I came across one of your friends lying on the pavement, he was crawling toward the car."

I bring my hand to my mouth in horror "Oh my God."

"He was pretty beat up, and I went to help him but was grabbed by Tachibana before I could get him. He was bleeding from his leg and back the most, but all I could hear was him uttering 'Kaoru' over and over."

"...Hikaru."

"Tachibana pulled me away, and convinced me that the police would be there to help shortly and there was nothing we could do except take the blame. I didn't know what to do Haruhi, I had you to think about at home. I couldn't just leave you."

Tears stream across my face, "But you did leave me."

He starts to let out small sobs over the phone, "I did. And I understand if you can't forgive me Haruhi. But I'm your daddy, and I need you to understand that I was only thinking of you."

My hand is shaking over the receiver, and I can think of doing nothing else but hanging up the phone. My mind flashes to an image of Hikaru cold and bleeding on the pavement of some random street, looking for his brother.

_"Me neither." I say, weaving my arms along the lonely sibling's frame; he feels warm, like an everlasting sun between us. "But I have to try Hikaru."_

I sigh into the receiver, and slowly begin to speak the only phrase that could possibly help.

"I love you Dad."

After all, I made a promise.

His cries only escalate at my simple phrase. "I love you too sweetie, thank you."

I close my eyes and let the tears flow against my skin, cooling the warmth emblazoned on my flushed cheeks, "You're welcome."

"I have to go now ok, but be good. Have fun on your trip!"

"I will."

"I love you!"

The phone clicks off before I can respond, and I set the phone onto the counter before letting a loud sob escape from my mouth.

Moments later a small hand caresses my back, "It's ok Haru." Honey says as he tried to comfort me.

"Thanks Honey, I just. It's hard…I feel like I'm betraying Kaoru by being so lenient on my dad. He deserves the punishment he's getting, but he's my only family and I-"

"Kaoru would want you to forgive him Haru." He says while pulling me in an embrace. "We all do, even Hikaru."

A small laugh breaks out of my figure, and I find myself leaning into the small blonde's frame. "And I will forgive him." I mutter into his shoulder.

"Good. Let's get you ready for Venice!"

* * *

Tamaki arrives shortly after, clinging to me as soon as he walks through the door. "I'm so sorry!" he cries out, shaking my entire frame in a serpentine pattern off the ground. "It's fine Tamaki! I'm alright!"

"Good." He says, finally letting me stand on solid ground. I notice that he got a bundle of zipped bags in his hands, and a large suitcase is parked behind him.

"What is this?" I say motioning to the foreign objects, "These better not be for me."

A look of disappointment crosses both his and Honey's face, "But Haruhi these dresses are perfect for Italian weather! I've picked an outfit for daily use with everything I have planned! This is enough to get you through the whole trip without having to worry."

"Did you give all the other Hosts clothes too?"

"No…" he says, brining two fingers together in an awkward sort of fashion.

"I don't want these." I say without taking a second look at all the items he's packed. Though I already know my opinion has no power in this circumstance.

"Fine." He says with a sigh, letting the objects fall around him. Honey disappears into the kitchen a little later, presumably to order some food for each of us.

"But you have to at least pick one!"

"Only one?" I say holding out a finger to reflect the exact number we're referring to. He nods excitedly and instantly begins unzipping each bag half-hazardly, releasing a slew of ruffles and pink coloring throughout my small apartment.

"Tamaki where did you even find all of this?" I say amongst the sea of pink.

"My staff did, but I've approved each and every one for our wonderful date-er…trip."

I begin looking through each garment with scrutiny before finally settling on the only piece I can find that isn't stuffed to the brim with ruffles. It's a simple white sundress with yellow stitching, and looks to be the most comfortable of the bunch.

"This one" I say holding up the dress.

Tamaki frowns at the sight, "That one? But it's so plain, it's really just meant as a coverup for a bathing suit."

"What you're not going to let me wear your sweater again?" I say indignantly. Tamaki scuttles out from underneath several dresses to my side of the room, giving me his best impression of a puppy dog face.

"Look I'll already have to put up with this when Hikaru sees the stuff I'm packing, I have a small suitcase and won't even have room for all of this, I like this one and you said I only have to choose one."

He shudders at the mention of Hikaru's name, "Fine." He says standing up and stepping back. "Have you thought about what we talked about at the restaurant? You and Hikaru seem to be spending a lot of time together lately."

My entire body stiffens, I had all but forgotten the dinner Tamaki and I had together. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

"He drives me home and we have all the same classes. I'm not sure what you're expecting."

Once again he combs his fingers through his delicate blonde hair, sighing as he does so. "Just be careful Haruhi, I don't want him to encase you in that little world he's always in."

"The point is trying to open that 'little world' up to everyone, including you Tamaki." I add defensively.

He smiles and sits next to me, beaming that trademark smile my way that seems to make his eyes glow. "Are you ready?"

"For what?"

"For Venice silly."

He's changing the subject…He always seems to be uncomfortable talking about Hikaru, is there something I'm not getting?

"Of course, and thank you for being here. And for caring about me."

His smile beams even further, "Of course."

And just like that my day is looking up.


	14. Chapter 14

_**A/N: **Hi everyone! Faukes here. So Fracture has been going on for almost six months now, and we still have quite a few chapters to go! (woo)_

_Anyways, We're almost up to 50 reviews, which is amazing. I had never thought that Fracture would even get reviews yet alone people who follow it throughout each update (you know who you are.)_

_So I was thinking of some means of a thank you and hopefully have figured out a fair-ish way to do it. So here's what I'm going to do, the 100th reviewer of Fracture will get a fic from me. It can be anything within the OHSHC universe: Your OC, favorite pairing, whatever you want. ANY genre, ANY pairing. Of course I wish I could do fics for all of my awesome readers, but I do unfortunately have a life in which I cannot spend every waking moment writing._

_Right now it will be a oneshot (a long one don't worry) though if you want something a bit more in depth I would love to discuss it with the winner. There are some rules though._

_1. Please don't send me a ton of reviews that say "ohmahgawd am I numbah 100 yet?" I'd prefer if you had something to say about what you're actually reading/it's not fair to others._

_2. If we don't get to 100, I'll use a random number gen and give it to that person._

_3. The winner will have to tell me what they want! If you wish to forfeit to another person that's fine too._

_Alright, now that that's over you're all free to PM me with questions or anything else. Here's the chapter!_

**Chapter 14**  
_Revel_

The sun beams across the sky like wildfire, shining down upon the stone paved streets that twist around the water surrounding us in an almost capricious way that frames the city perfectly.

I had never thought a single place could be this beautiful.

"Welcome to Venice!" A flash of blonde exclaims while flailing his arms through the air. Kenji sighs at his exuberance, feigning what looks to be only minor interest.

Hikaru nudges me with his elbow while tugging two matching suitcases behind him, "Well if this whole 'inheriting the Suou business' doesn't work out at least Tono has a promising future in greeting tourists."

I have to bring my hand to my face to cover the smile that's pulled from ear to ear.

A single strand of hair falls in place of Tamaki's demeanor at the sound of Hikaru's comment, and for a moment his sunny disposition seems to show a crack in its façade. However he recovers quickly, clapping his hands together as he speaks. "Now, to celebrate our very first annual family vacation I'd like to declare the rest of the day as 'Kaoru day!'"

I stop mid-stride, "Kaoru day?"

Two other voices join my bewilderment.

"Annual?"

"Family?"

It seems as if the new Hosts and I are the only ones who are confused, the rest of the group remains silent as Tamaki nods his head feverishly. Hikaru seems to stiffen, but not in a surprising manner, more like...dread?

He saw this coming.

"Yes! Kaoru day, a momentous occasion to remember our fallen little brother. We'll begin by doing everything that Kaoru loved to do in his favorite places across Venice!"

Green and black eyes point questioningly toward my direction, and it has just occurred to me that they have no idea who it is we're talking about.

Hale is the first to speak, carefully chosen words pointed directly at me as Hikaru speeds up to talk to Mori.

"Who is…Kaoru?"

Kenji is quick to follow Hale as we walk along the path behind the rest of the group.

"Well, Kaoru was a boy who was an original member of the Host Club, he was also Hikaru's twin brother."

Kenji stiffens at the harsh nature of the subject; Hale's eyes are as wide as ever.

"Was? What happened to him?" the shorter of the new Hosts asks after a moment of silence, it's the first time he seems to be interested in anything I have to say. I look ahead to the auburn haired teen walking only a few short feet ahead from me. His focus seems to be directed at a babbling Tamaki, though I can tell he's listening in on our conversation as well.

I'm surprised he hasn't said anything about this to them, he has definitely opened up since the night of my father's arrest and has seemed rather friendly toward Kenji and Hale.

So was he leaving me to tell them about Kaoru?

"Well…" I say tentatively, not knowing how to articulately speak of Kaoru quite yet. "He died."

Hale's eyebrows furrow in a sad sort of way, his green eyes are set in slight confusion, still I can tell he's able to pick up most of the conversation we're having.

"How?"

"A car accident." I add shakily, Kaoru is a more comfortable subject these days, yet it's clear I can't quite get out all of the information. I honestly don't think I can bear telling them about my father's involvement.

The three of us walk in a little further until the entire group approaches a car; the driver of which takes our luggage and directs us to each get inside.

"Where are we going?" I ask Tamaki after being seated to his right closest to the door.

The new Hosts sit to the left of us, and have thankfully withheld any more questions about Kaoru.

Tamaki smiles softly as he leans into me, and I can't help but notice a set of amber eyes narrow at the sight of our proximity.

The past few weeks haven't been easy for any of us, but it's wildly apparent that recent events have pushed Tamaki and Hikaru further and further apart. I can sense the tension between the two, and even though they are seen talking to each other once in a while, I get the feeling that it's only when I'm around.

"You'll see." The blonde says with a wink. His hands stay planted at his sides, but his eyes are alive with an excited color.

As the limo strides down the road I find myself looking toward Hikaru as he stares out the window longingly. His face nestled softly onto his fist.

My mind begins to wander in the direction of the day he admitted his reluctance toward my father, where his hands were wrapped around my frame as we both promised to try to forgive, to try to live on.

Does he know how much that promise meant to me?

Does he care?

* * *

_"Mom's really giving it her all for this show."_

_"Hmmm."_

_The younger sibling stared longingly at his counterpart encased in the glow of the lights pouring all around them. A brilliant array of blues and whites flicker endlessly across the audience's faces highlighting the spectacle of the evening; that of their mother's recent line displayed on the eager bodies of young models._

_Yet all Kaoru could focus on was the fight that he and his sibling had shared earlier; one that had left them both wounded in the aftermath._

_The show was almost over at this point, and the clock was nearing one in the morning._

_Which meant it had been over three hours since his brother had spoken to him._

_Kaoru shifted his weight in the small chair only to find himself even more uncomfortable than before. How could he get through to Hikaru?_

_Couldn't he see this was for the best? They had been living a fairytale before all of this, one that was riddled with naivety. Surely they couldn't live on like they had been._

_Couldn't they?_

_The orange haired teen swallows hard before speaking, "Hikaru…I'm sorr-"_

_"Knock it off Kaoru, if mom sees us fighting during her show we'll be grounded for months."_

_Kaoru shuddered at the response, but still, any reply is better than the silence that had felt suffocating beforehand. Maybe he was finally starting to make progress?_

_"Alright." He replied begrudgingly, staring once more toward the cascade of blonde's and brunettes adorned in extravagant clothing._

_'What a ridiculous display of power.' Kaoru thought, 'If Haruhi were here she'd be begging us to leave._

_The younger sibling paused mid-reverie at the mention of her name. A vision of his closest friend tugging on his arm and whispering in his ear came to mind._

_'Kaoru' she would say, 'Come on, this stuff would be better suited for my dad than for me. Why do you force me along to these stupid things?'_

_A smirked appeared on his face at the thought of Haruhi at his side. She was completely clueless wasn't she?_

_How could she be so blind to the fact that everyone surrounding her was completely infatuated by something as simple as her very presence?_

_Although, would she even care if she did know?_

_The sharp teen peered down at his phone to find a text from none other than Haruhi herself. He looked to his twin before opening it cautiously._

**_How's the show?_**

_He smiled to himself once more at the thought of her, and suddenly the entire night's end goal came back into focus._

_She had a way of doing that to him._

**_Fine, good food, wish you were here._**

_Shit. Was that too needy? They weren't in a relationship, but the three's friendship had always been based on flirtation. More so on the twins' part than hers of course._

_Kaoru shook his head as if to physically extinguish his own thoughts. Why was he overthinking this?_

_**Only to play dress-up I'm sure, knock it off Kaoru.**_

_He could feel his breath hitch with her response, if only she knew…_

**_Maybe some other time then._**

_Kaoru closed his phone as a figure approached the two twins. He recognized him as one of his mother's ever-present underlings almost instantly._

_"As soon as the event is over Mrs. Hitachiin has ordered you two in a separate car for the estate. There will be an after-party once the debut has ended and she's expected to make an appearance."_

_Hikaru's eyes stay firmly planted on the illuminated stage, "Fine."_

_The tall figure leaves, and once again the twins are encased in chaotic and unforgiving silence. The last model finally crosses the stage, locked arm and arm with the twins' mother._

_Her orange hair is teased into submission and the dress she wields is actually one of Kaoru's designs that Hikaru had helped with. The older sibling's chest rises in pride, yet the excitement still doesn't reach his face._

_"You'll see Hikaru." Kaoru whispers almost silently as the two stand up in sync, leaving the event early has always been a tradition for the Hitachiin twins and it was not about to be broken now._

_The pair stepped into the lengthy black car parked out front and but a few moments later the engine whirred to life._

_"Just take us home." Hikaru demanded, leering at his brother's uneasy figure. Kaoru could only sit there, sullen but not quite defeated._

_A vibration from his phone signaled Haruhi's awaited reply, though he thought it best to save it for when they arrived home._

_For he knew there would be plenty of time to check it later._

* * *

"So, is this really what Kaoru loved to do here?"

"Not even close."

The day's events have been frenzied to say the least. At Tamaki's whim we've been rushed across half the city in lavish, unruly spas and tacky restaurants before finally arriving at the beach for some relaxation at the end of our first day.

It seems that the whole 'Kaoru day' was more of an excuse to be subject to Tamaki's crazy itinerary.

A pale figure lies just beside me sprawled on a soft towel inset into the white sand beneath us. His eyes are closed and beads of sweat are glistening just barely above his temples and darkened hairline.

My eyes unknowingly dart across the auburn haired teen's unwound figure; his fine skin is becoming flushed under the harsh sun. His reddening appearance is only multiplied by the vibrant swim trunks covering half of his toned legs, near the top of which brandishes a slight view of a healing scar.

The visible part of the wound looks deep and painful, it's no wonder he has a hard time walking sometimes…

My mouth opens just slightly at the thought of him sprawled on the pavement, and before I know it a sound beckons to my figure amidst the grotesque imagery.

"See something you like?"

"Hmm? Oh!"

I jump at my own incredulity; I hadn't realized I'd been staring. "S-sorry Hikaru, I just caught sight of your leg."

He leans up so that we're face-to-face, amber eyes clouded with grogginess due to the hectic nature of the day's events, though they clear up when his irises connect to mine.

"This?" he exclaims, pulling up the garment just enough to reveal more of the scar. A jagged raised mark is emblazoned upon his skin like a bolt of lightning, branding onto his body the memories I'm sure he'd give anything to forget.

My hand raises to touch the mark, but I'm able to stop my own curiosity before it makes contact, "Does it hurt?"

"Not really anymore. Apparently I broke a few bones when I was thrown from the car and my thigh was gouged by this…"

His hands go up to his eyes to form some sort of object, but his frustrated demeanor shows that he's unable to recreate it.

"This…Thing, I don't know what it was. It happened pretty fast. Anyways sometimes my collarbone starts to hurt when it rains, but mostly it's all healed save for a few scars."

He points to his side next; a few light marks cover his arm on the same side as his leg framing some larger scars along his ribcage and collarbone, revealing that he must've fallen on his left side first.

_"I watch in horror as Hikaru sits just before me, bound to a chair. Shallow cuts are projected across his face and body; his left leg is bleeding profusely, and a new, fresh gash is visible through his shirt under his ribline. Yet even worse are his eyes, they've been sewn shut. The thread that binds them is tethered to his face by his hand, which is gripping the needle tightly."_

I shake my head to fight off the memories of my nightmare, "Hikaru, I'm so-"

My words trail off as my hand instinctively touches the raised skin on his rib; the sun has faded the mark enough that you would barely even notice it's there.

His hand grasps mine firmly, snapping me once more out of my own reverie. "Haruhi, don't worry about it."

The contact of our hands touching feels warm, like a spark of electricity running from my fingertips to my feet, and I know by now my entire face must be as pink as Honey's toy rabbit.

Hopefully I'll be able to blame it on the sun.

"I uh…" are the only sounds I'm able to form on my lips. Our eyes unknowingly meet and I find myself frozen to the spot, what is going on with me?

Thankfully, he's the first one to break the silence. "Sorry, not used to interaction like that-not that you can't touch me-not that you have to-I mean…I mean."

The auburn-haired teen attempts to look everywhere but me as disconcerted words begin to form sentences.

His entire body now matches the color of my face, and I find myself stifling laughter at his nervous display.

So maybe I'm not the only one who is feeling like this?

"Listen" he says, wrapping his arms around his legs as if to capture them from escaping.

"None of this stuff has anything to do with Kaoru, especially the beach. Maybe we can sneak off later and I'll show you where he loved to go?"

I look across to the other Hosts. Kyoya is parked under an umbrella a few feet away from us, unsurprisingly scribbling onto another notebook. Honey and Mori are closer to the shoreline constructing what looks to be a monumentally sized sandcastle.

Tamaki, Kenji and Hale are all neck deep in the crystalline water in front of us. We're a little far off from the main Venice area, but it's still just as beautiful here.

Yet I know this isn't what Kaoru would've wanted to show me, and who would know his intentions better than his twin?

In the distance my eyes peer across Tamaki's figure, his violet eyes point indignantly at my own as another wave buries him and the two other Hosts in the water. My breath hitches as their bodies disappear amidst white oceanic spray, but thankfully they spring up a few seconds later to wave happily in my direction, I return the motion with a smile.

"Alright, where are we going?" I say, turning my head back toward Hikaru, ignoring the fact that Tamaki would probably frown on us 'sneaking off' anywhere together.

A smile spreads across his face as he begins to lay back down on the towel.

"You'll see."

* * *

"Haruhi."

My body jumps as a hand nudges me out of slumber.

"Kaoru?"I exclaim to the darkness of the room, I can't see the figure before me, and for a second I'm worried that I'm being thrust into another nightmare.

"What? No, it's me, Hikaru. Are you alright?"

I begin to make out a small outline of the auburn haired teen's figure, he's leaned over with one hand still on my shoulder and the other propped on the bed I'm in.

"What time is it?"

"Early, come with me."

"Wait what are we-"

Hikaru grabs my hand and pulls me out of bed. Thankfully I'm still wearing the clothes I had fallen asleep in earlier or I'd feel more than a little exposed in this already bizarre circumstance.

"Try to be quiet until we get outside alright? I don't want to wake up Honey and the rest."

An instinct presses me to question why Hikaru mentioned Honey before the other Hosts, but I refrain as he guides me out onto the gleaming streets.

My curiosity finally gets the better of me once we've put some distance between us and the hotel, "Alright, where are we going?"

"It's a secret." He says before removing his hand from mine and placing it within his front pocket. I had all but forgotten it was there in the first place.

He's dressed in what looks to be his pajamas and of course his hair is as messy as ever. It would seem that wherever he's taking me was an idea produced in a hurry, or maybe one he wasn't sure of at least.

We walk for a while in light conversation, things like his favorite food and my favorite things to do. We both already know a lot about each other; still it's enough to break the awkwardness of the hurried situation.

He pauses when we've caught sigh of a darkened building on the street corner. "It's in here, but you have to sort of maneuver around a little to get to the top of the building, just follow my lead."

The scenery is ominous, yet somehow I feel at peace at his side.

He guides me through what seems to be a construction zone before finally reaching a flight of stairs, I can't make out much of our surroundings so I'm forced to grip onto his arm as much as possible while still taking heed of the fact that he is still injured.

"Almost there, I know you can't see anything anyways but close your eyes until I say you can open them ok?"

I am able to mutter a shaky response as I feel my palms begin to sweat in excitement. "Alright."

Despite asking me to close my eyes I feel his hands cover them as we walk up the stairs. The touch sends shivers up my spine.

"Ok, don't open them yet." He says proudly while slowly removing his hands from my face.

I can detect his wide grin even behind closed eyes.

"This was Kaoru's favorite spot in all of Venice, he begged me to take him here every night so this is definitely what he would've wanted you to see. So go ahead and open your ey-"

I gasp before he's even able to finish.

In front of us is a gigantic window revealing what could be one of the most breathtaking views I've ever witnessed. Stars glisten across the night sky with vibrant hues of galactic color intertwined amongst them, beneath that a sleeping city lies completely quiet in the night's embrace.

Eloquent outlines of near ancient structures are only barely kissed by the glowing embers released by the stars above.

The lighting casts a bluish hue along Hikaru's figure making him appear serene and content, and before I'm even aware of it I become more entranced by his image than the world outside.

His head is leaned against the cool glass in front of us in a relaxed sort of way. I look into his eyes only to find they've been pointed at me this entire time, causing my already racing heart to quicken unexpectedly.

He speaks slowly, to test out the waters he's just created before us. "We first came here when we were kids, before my mom started to build a venue around the place. Kaoru said this was how people are meant to be seen, encased in moonlight. I always thought it sounded so cheesey, but now I think I'm beginning to understand his point."

I take a step in his direction, closing the distance between us; he never takes his eyes off of me.

"He said that moonlight is the one thing that interrupts the deadness of night, turning everything it touches alive with this sort of blissful stillness. When it touches a person, you can see an appearance of something that not everyone is meant to see, their very souls are captured in a single eclipsed moment of beauty."

As I take another step a reflection of something metallic interrupts my view, I look lower to catch a glimpse of Hikaru's ever-present necklace and find myself alive with temporary courage.

"Hikaru?"

"Yeah?"

"Why do you wear that necklace?"

He looks down to his own chest and pulls the gleaming chain off of his body before bringing it closer for me to get a better view. The silver chain wields a medium-sized steel pendant with a small notch on the side of it.

My finger goes to touch the metal before he guides my hand upward toward the notch on the side. Upon pressing it the notch reveals a compartment containing what looks to be a broken key.

"What's this?" I ask while delicately holding the split key up to my eyes, it's ornate and fragile looking. The other half looks to be broken off, leaving it completely useless to whatever it must've unlocked originally.

"Well, this half is actually Kaoru's. It's sort of a prize."

"Prize?"

"To a game…one we played when we were kids."

"Like a board game? Did you win it?"

He laughs under his breath before resting his hand on mine, gripping the key out of my hand before placing it back into the pendant, "It's a little more complicated than that."

"How so?"

Our eyes meet once more as he replaces the chain onto his figure. His face seems to ignite with a fire that's caressed by the blue streaks that run wild within those amber irises'.

"Not right now Haruhi, there's another reason I wanted to bring you up here."

He takes a step away from the window and toward me this time, and before I know it I'm almost completely face-to-chest with him.

Unknown invisible boundaries seem to break away with his every movement; I can feel his body getting closer and closer to mine as if being pulled by an underlying force.

"Haruhi…" he says, parting his lips slightly. "I uh-"

'I uh' what?

Is this what's been bothering him, what's been bothering me?

Come on! 'I uh' what?

His hand is pressed against the glass still as he leans down so that his eyes meet mine. His lips are close enough to my face that I can feel his hitched breath on my lips.

What am I supposed to do now?

Do I say something?

We're so close, close enough that just maybe we might…

"I'm glad that I could show this place to you. Kaoru, he would've wanted you to see it."

We might…talk about Kaoru?

"Uh-what?" I ask, shaking my head to push me out of my trance.

In an instant the fire in his eyes becomes glossed over. "It was his favorite spot." He says before leaning back up and resting on the window."You two were close so I know he would've wanted you to see this."

"Oh…alright."

We both stare once more into the view of Venice captured in beauty, pale colors begin to stain the night sky signaling sunrise's awakening.

"Well." He says after a moment of silence, "We should probably head back now before Tono kicks my ass."

He throws an arm over me as we leave the unanswered tension behind us, though I can feel his entire body quivering..

My demeanor bear a striking resemblance to grief as we step out of the building and walk back toward the hotel.I can't help but notice that his steps are lagging behind, and beads of sweat caress his nervous looking exterior almost hectically.

I'm filled with so many questions I don't even know where to begin; yet I'm able to stifle each and every one on the account of his obvious avoidance.

Well, maybe I'm just the worst signal reader ever.

Maybe it really is getting too late for us to finish whatever it was that was happening.

Or…maybe he doesn't feel what I'm feeling.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:**_Hey all, Chapter 15 had to be split up into two parts because of it's length. But rest assured part two will be here bright and early next Friday morning._

Chapter Fifteen  
_I Am Your Shield_

"Goodnight Haruhi, sleep well."

"Um…yeah, you too"

The auburn haired teen's arm still rested upon her shoulder as they stood on the threshold. He's hesitant to release her, terrified that the night's events have all but ruined what they had become.

If they were anything to begin with.

Why did he stop short? All he had to do was lean in but a few more inches toward what he knew would have been more blissful than any dream, any fantasy.

He replayed the night's events through his mind in an endless cycle as they walked back to the hotel, and every time it ended in him shying away from her.

"Hikaru?"

He shook his head as his visage snapped back to reality, his arm was clutching her as if his life depended on it. "Oh, sorry Haruhi." He replied as he removed his body from hers.

She gave him a polite smile; one he knew was filled to the brim with disappointment...It would've been better if Kaoru had taken her.

"It's no problem. Goodnight."

And so the girl of his dreams crossed the threshold, closing the door and leaving Hikaru to once again muse of 'what could have been.'

He tried desperately to imagine closing that feral distance; the chasm between their lips grew every time he thought about it, and by the time he sank into the living room chair it had grown into an unimaginable length.

He thought back to the moment he had awakened her earlier that night, wide-eyed and shaking. Yet the only word she muttered to herself in that dark room was the one thing that threatened to destroy Hikaru's courage completely.

_"Kaoru."_

Why did she have to say his name? Was she dreaming about him?

He sat there for what seemed like hours, watching as the sky became stained with the glow of dawn. It was only until he heard footsteps that her brown eyes mercifully left his reverie in temporary peace.

"Hikaru?"

Despite the fact that he had heard Kenji coming down the hall the small teen calling out his name had made him practically jump out of his chair.

"Oh...Hey Kenji."

The onyx haired figure sighed as he attempted to make small talk, "So what are you doing up this early?"

"I haven't gone to bed yet"

"Me neither, figured it was best to come out sometime…"

The awkwardness of the situation made the sharp teen shiver with a contrite rigidity. True, he had talked to Kenji multiple times, but now those once fierce eyes were filled with nothing but remorse for the older, left-behind twin.

Just like everyone else.

"Listen." Kenji muttered after a while, pausing a beat to work up the courage. "I'm really sorry about your brother. When Haruhi told me I-"

"Come on Kenji." Hikaru replied, "I'm sure you've heard about it around school, it couldn't have been that big of a shock to you or Hale."

It was true; news of the younger twin's passing had spread like wildfire as soon as Hikaru had returned to Ouran alone. Kyoya had thankfully done his best to keep Ranka's name out of the press, and as a result the rumors had begun to subside. Though Hikaru's ears still rang with hushed voices and harsh words whenever he crossed the hallways.

Kenji could only look down at the ground in a guilty sort of way, the whole scenery almost made Hikaru sneer in disgust.

He was not in the mood to be made into a victim…not tonight.

"I did hear his name, once or twice but…I don't really talk to the other students much, and the fact that the had a brother was never a part I really stuck around to listen to." Mahogany eyes lifted toward amber, "And you know Hale doesn't always understand everything, I had to tell him what a 'Kaoru' even was before this trip. I'm sorry though…I should have asked you guys about it beforehand, I just thought he was some random student."

Hikaru's teeth clenched at the casual mention of his brother's passing, but still attempted to save face. Kenji was trying to help, and all Hikaru was doing was scaring him off.

Maybe he did deserve to be alone.

The auburn haired teen took a deep breath before responding, "It's ok Kenji. You didn't know. It's just a little difficult to talk about him still."

"Well…if it helps, I sort of know how you feel."

The thought of anyone but Haruhi acting empathetic was enough to make Hikaru sick, but still the distraction was more than welcome if it could calm the raging storm inside of him. "What do you mean?"

"About two years ago my younger sister passed away."

Amber eyes grew wide, "What?"

He took a deep breath before responding, "Her name was Masumi. The Saitoh's are a small family and she was always the favorite child-even the Kasanoda's loved her." He cringes at the family name, as if holding back a harsh memory.

"I forgot you were Kasanoda's cousin. You two don't seem to talk much whenever he visits Haruhi."

"Ritsu and I used to be best friends. Our families were very close until Masumi's passing, after that the Saitoh's pretty much severed all ties to their entire family."

"Why?"

"My father thinks they're to blame for her death. She was at their estate visiting when a rival yakuza came and attacked…She was the only casualty."

"You're kidding, they would just attack that large of a family inside of their own home?"

Kenji's voice began to quiver as he spoke, choking back what Hikaru could only assume were tears, "Yeah, but it wasn't their fault she died. The Kasanoda's couldn't have known."

"It's good that you can forgive." He responds, not knowing what else to say to the trembling boy, he mused that this must be what everyone feels like around him.

"I have to move on, I loved Masumi but…you can't always live in the past you know?"

Hikaru cringed as Kenji's words ransack his entire being, he thought of his younger brother confessing his love for the girl that he had always dreamed would be his. She would've been so happy to be with Kaoru…

"I kind of understand yeah," he replied, attempting to push out the thoughts that threatened to consume him.

Kenji smiled as he wiped away the tears that pricked the corners of his eyes, a moment later he stood up, convinced that he had accomplished what he had set out to do. "Well thanks for talking with me Hikaru, maybe now I can actually get some sleep. You should too."

"Thanks Kenji, I will."

Hikaru stood up a few moments later as the smaller teen disappeared down the hall. An odd feeling now replaced his torn and tattered reverie, one that was alive with something he hadn't felt in a long time.

Hope.

Just as he turned the doorknob to his own room, a harsh voice spoke from the darkness.

"Where did you take her?"

Hikaru spun on his heel to come face to face with a pair of violet eyes; his once bemused look was only replaced with defiance at the sight of the flustered blonde.

His arms went up in a questioning motion, one that would've mirrored his twin perfectly. "I don't know what you're talking about Tono."

"Don't be coy Hikaru, I went into her room a few hours ago and she wasn't there. Where did you lead her off to?"

"So you're chastising me for something you can't even prove while you're sneaking into her room at night? Talk about the pot calling the kettle black boss."

In an instant the statuesque blonde brought his fist to grip the auburn haired teen's shirt, "Knock it off Hikaru, you can't just keep Haruhi to yourself. She's not your toy."

"And she's not your daughter."

"Who do you think she went to when she couldn't face you? When she was too scared to even approach you because of how empty you were."

Hikaru narrowed his eyes in disgust, but still attempted to maintain some sort of tact.

"Yeah, Thanks for that, but I think I can take it from here. It's not like she could avoid me even if she wanted to Tamaki." He spit out his name in disgrace. "We have all the same classes, and I'm her best friend regardless."

"No, Kaoru was. You're just convenient."

Amber eyes went wide with the terror and instantly Tamaki regretted what he had said. The blonde dropped his former friend in lament, bowing his head as he did so.

"Hikaru I'm…I'm sorry."

Hikaru brushed himself off before spinning back around to face the door, his fists became clenched and his eyes were squeezed shut to prevent any weakness from showing. Tamaki had hit a nerve, one that extinguished the small amount of happiness he had tried to salvage.

"Goodnight Tamaki." Was all he could mutter before shutting the door in the blonde's face.

Tamaki could only stand there in the darkness, filled to the brim with remorse. How had his perfect family transformed into this?

* * *

Rays of light dance throughout my room in sunrise splashes of pastel coloring. I haven't slept since Hikaru and I walked home despite my comforting and serene surroundings.

The events of the night are too fresh in my mind, too uplifting…and yet, shattering at the same time.

That moment, when our bodies were close enough that the entire room felt alive with electricity, in that instant I had never felt so safe, so at peace, so….

Alive?

And then in a flash it was all gone, Hikaru was back to his old, unassuming self and I was left at his side, filled with more questions than ever.

Was he really there with me on Kaoru's behalf? And if so, why did he look so guilty as we left?

I swing my legs off the bed in an attempt to ready myself for the coming day only to find that my clothes have apparently been chosen for me once I reach the closet. The white sundress that I had picked out hangs precariously over the closet knob along with matching sandals resting beneath it.

Was that hanging there when I came back to the room? I hadn't noticed it before now.

I pull on the sundress and smooth out my hair before stepping into the hall where I'm greeted with the familiar smell of breakfast wafting across the area. Upon following it I realize that the smell is coming from the breakfast nook where a certain statuesque blonde is sitting examining a book.

"Tamaki?" I ask, stepping toward the table as he motions me to take a seat. He's already as dressed for the day as I am despite his usual negligence for getting ready so early.

"Good morning Haruhi, I've got some breakfast here from the cooks stationed at the hotel. I didn't know what you would like to eat so I ordered a little of everything."

"Thanks" I say, grabbing a piece of bacon off of the plate. "So, how come we're the only ones out here?" A smile reaches his face as he responds, "Well…Kyoya, Hale, Kenji and Hikaru are all going to the shops today and have yet to wake up. Hunny and Mori left a little while ago on a hike, and I thought you and I could do this thing called a 'gondola ride.'"

"What's that?"

"It's a little boat that takes you through Venice, I thought it would be fun!"

I bring my hand to my mouth to ponder the situation, Tamaki and I haven't really been alone at all since our date, and I do still feel a little bad that it ended early. Besides, a 'little boat ride' sounds pretty fun.

"Alright, when do we leave?"

Violet eyes instantly become alive with vibrancy, "Great!" he says, clasping his hands in triumph. "Let's go now!"

"Wait a minute I-"

He rushes me out of the nook before I'm able to even finish my sentence.

"So Haruhi, what do you think of our new Hosts?" he says as soon as we're outside, the streets appear crowded with people by now, but the casual walk is still almost reminiscent of Hikaru and I last night.

"Well Kenji can be a little much sometimes, but Hale is pretty nice and is starting to catch on pretty quickly. I'm really surprised at the rate he's learning."

"All due to his apprenticeship I'm sure." Tamaki replies, puffing his chest in pride.

I roll my eyes before looking down at my attire, I had all but forgotten that Hale and Kenji don't yet know I'm a girl.

"Yeah I'm sure that's it. Do you think we should tell them about me yet? I'm surprised they haven't noticed already."

"You know I hadn't really thought of that." He replies indignantly, "I'm sure it'll come up sooner or later, especially with you wearing dresses here."

I pause mid-reverie. Should I bring up Hikaru? They've both been acting so strange lately and I can't help but wonder if I'm the cause of it all.

I steady myself before asking. "I'm sure you're right, Hey Tamaki?"

"Hmm?"

"You've been acting a little strange lately, is something wrong?"

The blonde stiffens a little at my prodding question, and we reach the boat before he responds. "Well a few things have been on my mind lately I guess."

"Oh?" I reply while he climbs into the boat, allowing me a hand to steady myself with until I'm seated next to him. There's a man behind us who's wielding a gigantic paddle of sorts that is dipped casually into the water. In the next instant he pushes against the water's flow and gliding through the city.

"I guess the biggest thing is my grandmother, she's fallen ill lately and we don't know if she'll recover this time."

A memory of a shrewd old woman comes to mind, one who had accosted Tamaki in such a rude manner and was more than likely behind the whole Éclaire arranged marriage events that followed. I stiffen at even the mention of her, but still I know where Tamaki's loyalty lies.

He looks down at me and, as if reading my mind, responds quickly. "I know she's not everyone's favorite person Haruhi, but since the fair we have become closer. I actually play the piano for her every day now."

"You do?"

"Yes, she loves anything by Chopin interestingly enough, and we've managed to get along quite nicely lately."

I had no idea their relationship had gotten better…maybe I have been spending too much time with Hikaru.

"That's great Tamaki."

"Yeah, I used to think she hated me. But now I realize that she was just sad and lonely all the time. I feel so bad for her you know?"

His golden locks are swaying just slightly through the breeze, and I'm suddenly struck with how romantic the scenery is that surrounds us.

I feel a small blush come to my face as I begin to fiddle with the cloth of my dress to distract myself.

"Tamaki, I'm really glad that you're getting to know her better. At the fair…she was so unkind to you and it was never something that has set really well with me. However if you say you two have been doing better, then I believe you, and I'm happy for you as well."

Our eyes meet and I notice that the flush on my face is reflected upon his. His lips part as I speak; he seems to be lingering on every word as if his life depended on it. My heart starts to quicken in response, but not in the way that it did last night with Hikaru.

No this is something else…Shyness? Nervousness maybe?

I'm really not sure.

I mean; I have considered Tamaki and I being together before. At first when he spoke of me as his daughter it seemed like some sort of ruse he was trying to play to get closer to me, but now I can see it was more of a protective instinct than anything.

The only question is whom was he protecting? Me? Or him?

And of course the even bigger question is, do I return the feelings that I'm certain he must feel for me?

Or am I as wrong as I've been with Hikaru about this whole thing?

And Hikaru…I can't get last night off of my mind. Those amber eyes reflecting the pale moonlight, his touch against my skin, his lips…

"Haruhi?"

"Huh? What?"

I jump out of my own musing to find Tamaki staring intently at me; we've been riding for quite some time now.

"Are you alright Haruhi?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just thinking about what you said about Hikaru I guess."

Ok so that was a lie, only a half one though at least.

"About you two spending so much time together? Don't worry about it, he's your friend, I get it." He replies, slinging an arm across my shoulder in a shy sort of way. "Besides, I don't want any strife concerning him interrupting us, I'm having too much fun otherwise."

"You're right." I say, not fully convinced by my own words.

We're approaching a bridge overhead before I make out two figures atop the low ledge on either side.

"Haru! Tama!" An exuberant Honey cries out, "Are you having fun?"

Tamaki stands up to reply, shaking the driver and the boat as he does so, "Yeah it's great, you should take a ride next!"

I steady myself on either side anxiously; though the water's fairly clear I've never been the best swimmer.

"You two should come up here, we've found a great bakery down the street!"

Mori nods in agreement, holding up a bag of what could only be sweets for Honey.

"Alright!" Tamaki cries out, shaking the boat once more. "We'll get off here!"

The driver quickly moves us to the ledge, most likely due to the eagerness of getting Tamaki off.

We arrive at the stopping point and meet up with Honey and Mori no more than a few minutes later.

"Hey guys." I say. Honey latches on to me as soon as we catch sight of the pair standing atop the stone paved bridge.

"Haru! I'm so glad you're here, let's take a picture together!" Honey cries out, Mori pulls out a camera from a bunny-covered backpack he had been carrying in his other hand.

"Alright." I say, following Honey over to the ledge of the bridge. I look over to see the water below; the crystalline surface is marred only slightly by random, small waves that sprout from the gondola's passing through.

The ledge itself looks taller from up close, though a little worn down in some spots.

"Ok just sit here like this." He says while motioning me to sit on the ledge, I comply and attempt to maneuver a comfortable position on the rough stone. Mori holds up a camera while Honey jumps on next to me, winking in his trademark sort of way as his cousin begins to count down for the photo.

"One…Two."

The hand that I was holding myself up on slips off of the ledge, and in a panic I attempt to correct myself before my whole body follows suit.

But it would seem I'm a second too late.

"Three."

The air around me becomes swift as my body plummets off the high ledge toward the water below.

My head snaps against the stone at the bottom of the bridge causing my vision to become blurry and white washed while my arms seem to form a ragdoll position as I'm left helpless to succumb to gravity.

Above me I hear a yell that quickly becomes muffled as I get further and further away from the group. A loud crash comes next, followed by a colder sensation that I was prepared for.

Am I in the water? It had felt warmer yesterday.

My vision goes in and out of focus, and images begin to race through my mind like reels of film.

An orange haired teen reaches his hands out to cover my eyes; his smile is as soft as the clouds above us.

The auburn haired figure comes next surrounded by moonlight, he leans down to caress my chin with nimble fingers as we both start to lean in toward one another.

Another crashing noise comes next, but I can't quite make out the cause of it. My body feels numb at this point.

Amber eyes are the last things I am able to focus on, and then: Nothing.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen  
_Breath of Life_

_"You're going to stay mad at me forever, aren't you?"_

_Two twins sit in the backseat of an extravagant car on their way home from the night's events. One, the younger, is paralyzed by the fear of losing his brother to an argument he himself had started._

_The other had mercifully become tired of letting his sibling suffer._

_"No Kaoru I'm not. It's just that Haruhi is kind of a sensitive subject. We've always shared everything you know? But this is something that we…we just can't."_

_A sigh of relief floods the orange haired teen's entire being, he had thought Hikaru would've stayed silent a lot longer than this._

_"I know what you mean Hikaru; she's different."_

_"Exactly."_

_The air around them stays comfortably hushed a little while longer. Storm clouds begin to form around them, and soon after rain follows suit. The car becomes encased in a downpour before long and the brothers could only muse at the intricate reflections of the water outside._

_The older sibling pauses briefly, taking in a sharp breath before speaking "Look Kaoru, you're my brother. I'll always be there for you, but I have to say something. What you did, I'm not exactly happy about. You've put us all in this really awkward situation, but…"_

_He closes his eyes next, a pained expression filling his face as he does so, "If you really think that you're the one who should be with her, then I won't stop you."_

_Kaoru's face becomes twisted into a look of shock at his brother's string of words. Hikaru was never one to back down so easily, so why now?_

_"Hikaru…I don't know what to say."_

_Two sets of amber eyes cross each other's path as a patterned array of water reflects across both their faces. Non-verbal communication had never been a problem for either twin, yet now it seemed all but impossible._

_"You don't have to say anything Kaoru. Besides, it's not like she's interested in me, our date wasn't exactly the most romantic situation." The older twin looks away, hiding away eyes that would betray any emotion to his younger brother. "…You seem a little more attached to her anyways."_

_His words cut like a knife, and Kaoru doesn't believe them anymore than the speaker does._

_He knows that Hikaru depends on Haruhi like the color to the world, like light to the darkness._

_Like breath to life._

_So why give in like this?_

___"Th-Thanks Hikaru." Kaoru mutters, unsure of what else to say._

Hikaru looks over to him and is surprised to find the younger sibling looking contrite, as if almost in grief.

_Wasn't this what he wanted?_

_"Kaoru, what's wrong?" Hikaru asks as confused as ever._

_The teen sits in silence for a few more minutes, letting only the sound of rain stand in protest._

_An image of a brunette girl comes to Kaoru's mind for a final time that night, flashing a smile that's brighter than the sun itself. Next to her the only other important person in his life stands, looking completely blissful in a moment of pure content._

_It was time._

_"Look Hikaru I'm sorry, I thought-"_

_In an instant the car is flooded with the light of an outside force. Fluorescent white pours into the vehicle before either boy can recognize the source._

_A crashing sound comes next, followed by a weightless sensation._

_Amber eyes ignite amidst the situation around him as mere seconds turn to hours; glass shards flow around him like glistening rain stopped in time._

_Twisted metallic sounds run rampant through his ears and shake him to his very core; a ripping sensation comes next, followed by a thick liquid starting to pool around his left leg._

_Though his body feels weightless the impact is harsh and sudden. His body slams into what could be the roof, but then twists against the shattered glass that has somehow inverted itself directionally. Crisp vision now becomes hazy and blurred as upholstered leather turns into starlit sky._

_The world remains unbalanced and spinning by the time he realizes he's outside._

_Smooth rain caresses his skin and brings rouge like color to his vision in liquid streams, coloring his nightmares to forever be in shades of red._

_He looks down at the ground first, attempting to gain control over the constantly turning environment. He could remember the initial impact, but already the aftermath had begun to fade along with his consciousness._

_A pain comes before he's fully able to grasp what's happened, one that is sharp and sudden._

_"Kaoru!" he cries into the night, searching frantically with continuously blurred vision until finally catching sight of the car a few feet away._

_It looks to be crushed into an almost unrecognizable form._

_"Kaoru!" he cries once more, he attempts to stand only to find that the pain threatens to consume him as he does . So he settles for crawling, shifting the weight on his right side as he does so._

_Amidst the darkness another voice calls out, "Do you see anyone?"_

_Hikaru chooses to ignore it and continues to crawl._

_Another, vaguely familiar voice calls out next, "I think there's a boy over there! Hey! Are you alright?"_

_He's almost made it to the car's window by now._

_"Kaoru!" he calls out in desperation, ignoring the blurred figure calling out to him. The voice begins to fade in and out as does the world around him. The pain has mercifully begun to fade from the force of shock flowing throughout his body._

_"Oh - God. Tachi-a! Come here! He's h- really bad!"_

_Hikaru shakes his head to reclaim some semblance of consciousness before finally catching sight of his brother breathing harshly as his entire body dangles helplessly upside-down._

_"Hi-Hikaru…" The younger twin calls out, his bloodied form still attached to the vehicle by the marred seatbelt._

_The older twin tries not to focus on anything but his brother. Despite the quivering running through his entire body he attempts to retain a straight face as he looks upon the gory image before him; he has to be brave right now._

_"Kaoru, hold on!" Hikaru replies, eyes widened with fear._

_"Here." Kaoru says, mustering enough strength to grab the silver chain dangling from his neck. The pendant makes a chiming noise as he passes it to his brother outside the vehicle. "You hold it."_

_Tears flood the older sibling's face as he gives his entire being to dwindling hope. Bargains are made with divinity as he lies in an ever-growing pool of blood._

_"Please help me save him." He cries to an otherwise silent observer above, "I need your help…I'm supposed to protect him!"_

_ A black spot starts to form directly in the center of his vision, and before long the surrounding area has become completely devoid of color as the spot grows larger and larger._

_In the distance voices continue to fade. "Co- on. We c-t stay - longer. Hel- is comi—"_

_"Kaoru, please hold on." He says against the threshold of consciousness. Sirens begin to emit in the distance, though they sound muffled at this point._

_"Hikaru…she really is different isn't she?"_

_The last thing Hikaru sees are his brother's amber eyes begging for release, and then: Nothing.  
_

* * *

_Where am I?_

_The air smells fragrant, and when I breathe it in I can feel a warming sensation flowing through me, delivering a silent promise to be whatever I need it to be._

_I turn to my right, nothing but the grass in the field I'm laying upon. Is that where I am? A field?_

_I turn to my left. Someone's there with me, smiling at me with amber eyes._

"Haruhi?"

"Hmmm?" A voice fades away the orange-haired imagery of my dream in an instant, replacing the brightened scenery with a dimly lit pair of green eyes.

"Are you alright?"

"Am I….What?"

My grogginess subsides as I begin to sit up in my bed, a tired looking Hale flops down next to me in a chair while the rest of the world fades completely into view.

"Hale? What's going on."

The teen sighs in relief as he grabs a cup from the side table and plunges a bag of tea into it. "You fell." He replies matter-of-factly.

Blurred imagery of a bridge and splashing water comes to mind…Did that all really happen?

"Off the bridge right? Is Honey ok?"

He laughs a little before handing the cup to me; the liquid is dark and near opaque. "You worry about other people a lot. Mitsukuni is fine. The doctor says you are fine also, but he wants to check you again soon."

I ignore the last bit while my eyebrows furrow in surprise; only Mori calls Honey by his first name. I take a sip only to cough at the taste of the bitter liquid, "Ugh, what kind of tea is this?"

"Earl Grey. Proper tea." Hale replies while handing me a container of what appears to be honey, "I thought the Japanese knew much about their tea."

I laugh before pouring a decent amount of amber fluid into my cup, "And I thought the British had a little more tact."

Hale lets out a hearty laugh as I take another sip, it's good to have a little more of a conversation with him nowadays that extends past 'yes and no' topics.

"Takashi caught you in the water." He says after a brief pause, "Boss was pretty worried about you."

"Yeah Tamaki has a way of over reacting."

"Um…No, not him, Hikaru. Tamaki was…" His lips purse as he starts to flail his arms around frantically as if to imitate the blonde's reaction to me falling. "Going crazy?"

Suddenly my attention is a little more focused as the haze fades a little more around me. "Hikaru?" I ask in suspense, wondering what the auburn haired teen must've thought about me falling off _another_ bridge.

"You hit your head." Hale says, pointing toward his own to emphasize the point of the conversation. "He was here when Takashi pulled you out, he was just here looking at you for a while before he left."

"Did he say anything? Like where he was going?" He shrugs, "Not really, we have all been in here on turns watching you. You were…sleeping for a while."

"Really?" I say sitting up even further, I look down to realize I'm dressed in different clothing than I was on the bridge. A flush comes to my face when I realize someone must've dressed me while I was unconscious before an even quicker realization concerning my company comes to mind.

"So…." I say tentatively, "I guess you've figured it out by now huh?"

"Figured out?"

"That I'm a girl."

A look of 'your point?' reflects across his face as he responds, "Yes?"

"What do you mean yes? Did you already know?"

"It was a…surprise?"

An image of my gender reveal marked on a cake comes to mind. "A secret Hale. Not a surprise, and yes sort of."

"Oh." He says pushing his fingers together in confusion. "It is not a very good…secret."

"To you maybe."

A wide smile points effortlessly in my direction. "Would you like to eat?"

His hands form an eating motion while I begin to stand up on the hardwood floor. "No thanks." I reply before turning to the closet, "I think I'm going to go for a walk."

"Well…I need to ask Boss first."

"Fine. Hey before you go, how long was I out?" I reply.

"About two days." He replies with a smile, stepping through the door shortly after. "I will return!"

I attempt to stand out of bed only to find that for the most part I'm feeling considerably better than I should. Apart from a few bruises and a bandage around my head I don't even look too bad.

I unwrap the bandage and change clothes before an image of Tamaki doting on me comes to mind. I do not want to spend the rest of my vacation forcibly bed-ridden as an erratic blonde cries at my side all day.

Maybe I should leave before Hale comes back? At least I'd get a little bit of fresh air before they ground me….

It's decided then, outside it is.

I step out of the hotel as I look toward the grey skies above. A shiver runs up my spine at the thought of lightening appearing, but the threat of Tamaki chasing me down propels my body forward.

After a while of walking a low rumbling sound emits from the sky above. _Damnit _I say to myself as my hands start to tremble, I thought I was over this ridiculous anxiety by now.

I've walked only a few more feet before a familiar figure crosses my view on a bridge in the distance.

I squint my eyes to see Hikaru leaning over the ledge with his head in his hands, his fingers look to be gripped in his dark hair and his posture alone indicates his unrest.

What is with the men I'm surrounded by? Are they all barring some deep, horrible lament that's just constantly torturing them?

I run toward the foot of the bridge before catching his attention, meanwhile rain starts to fall in sheets.

"Hey!" I call out; shivering slightly under the chill of the rushing waters pouring down. "Watch out on these bridges, they're pretty slippery!"

His eyes dart up to meet mine in an instant; amber coloring is flooded with both relief and worry before he walks toward me. "Haruhi! What are you doing out here? You shouldn't be out of bed let alone outside. Do you have any idea how worried I was!"

That's a pretty funny thought, Hikaru Hitachiin worried about me. After he was being so standoffish the other night I was sure he'd turn into another mute.

"You need to go back Haruhi, I can-" His voice cracks before trailing off completely, electricity floods the air once more and it isn't until a streak of light crashes through the sky that I realize it's not coming from him.

I let out a yelp before the thunder can even beckon and instantly grip tightly onto the ledge in a panic. My heart races against childlike fear and I'm all but powerless to stop it.

Hikaru looks up into the sky before fully realizing my reaction to the situation, he grabs onto me next, ushering my quivering figure under a nearby valence for protection against the rain. "I can't believe you're out here Haruhi, what the hell were you thinking?"

Why is he always acting so protective over me? It's not like he really cares…

Does he?

"I didn't th-think that it would be-"

BOOM!

Another crash of thunder pours through my ears as I instantly move my hand to grab Hikaru's, He jumps a little at my vice-like grip, but relaxes shortly after.

"We need to get you back." He says after a minute, despite the cool rain his hand feels hot against my skin. "Think you can walk?"

My mind is in a chaotic array of requests and shattered images at this point, distressed scenery brought about by fear is running unbridled throughout me.

Slowly, I try to focus on the only thing that could possibly calm me in this instant: Food, the sun, a warm bed, a moonlit Hikaru…

Wait, what?

"Hikaru?" I timidly cry after the imagery begins to cease, words unknowingly throw themselves out of my body before I'm able to stop them. "What was with last night?"

His eyes go as wide as plates. That can't be good.

"I don't know what you're talking about Haruhi."

Anger starts to overtake fear as I furrow my eyebrows. He is not going to keep evading my questions!

"You know what I mean Hikaru, you've been different lately. Acting a certain way in one moment, then completely different the next!"

That last word escapes as a yell, and it isn't until now that I fully realize just how much I want…no, how much I _need_ to know what's been going on with him.

Electricity starts to form around us yet again while half of me prepares for the lightning strike.

The other half of course longing for something I'm too scared to admit.

"Haruhi, I lost my brother only a few short months ago, I think I'm entitled to act however the hell I want." He replies coldly, and I can't help but detect the venom in his voice.

"Quit hiding Hikaru you know that's not it."

He squeezes his eyes shut in frustration, volume getting louder as we speak. "Don't back me into a corner here Haruhi!"

"What are you so afraid of?"

We both pause at the incredulity of my statement. The memory of the night at the park comes to mind and before I know it, I see red.

_"Thanks Haruhi, but I don't need your pity." He slinks out of my hold on him, have I done something wrong? "Just stop worrying about me OK? What I need right now is a distraction, nothing more."_

A distraction? Is that what he thinks of me?

"I don't want to talk about this Haruhi."

"Well I do!" I cry out, dropping his hand while taking a step closer to him.

Thunder pours into the air once more, and for a moment my disposition threatens to waver, but thankfully I am steadfast enough to get through it.

"I'm sick of you using me like a distraction whenever you need it then shutting me out. You can't just pretend I'm your friend one minute and then act like a mute the next!"

He takes a step toward me this time, the rain outside almost drowns out his hurried response, "Haruhi, I can't…Kao-"

"You're scared Hikaru, that's what you've always been! Scared to let me, or anyone else in!"

"You don't know what you're talking about!" he yells, fist clenched into balls at his sides; I flinch at his sheer volume, yet am able to retain my focus.

Lightning flashes through the sky like a violent whip with his response, but I can't back down now.

"Yes I do Hikaru! What are you so afraid is going to happen if you let a single person know what it is you're actually thinking? I can't help you like this, so why stand around and torture me while I try to save you? What do you want from me?"

In an instant his hand grips my side and pushes me against the wall firmly bringing his face mere inches away from mine.

I try to push my own hands to his chest in protest, but only succeed in gripping his drenched shirt at the waist. His other hand rises to hold the side of my face while I can feel our hips connect in a sudden, yet excited devise.

Time slows down almost completely, and for a second all I see is the fire in his eyes as he finally closes the distance between our rain-soaked lips.

The sound of thunder resonates a siren's song throughout the air as drops fall delicately from his eyelashes to my face, bringing a sensation I had never thought possible throughout my entire body. I can feel my grip tighten on his shirt while his fingers sift across my cheek and through my hair.

His lips are soft yet filled with a desperation that I know is mirrored upon my own. In an instant his taste becomes my addiction.

Our lips part after an all too short time has passed, and despite everything's that's just happened the world somehow continues to spin around us while we stand as illuminated figures reflected by the rain.


	17. Chapter 17

_**A/N:** Hey all! Sorry for lack of update last week, I'm going to be graduating in a month so these next few chapters might be a bit shorter than usual. Thanks for your continuing readership though! Internet love for you all!_

The ability to get an Ouran fic written by me is still available! We're at 65 reviews so only 35 more to go!

Chapter Seventeen  
_His Promise_

The newly appointed Host-in-training glided across the hallways in search of his now missing friend.

"Haruhi?" he called out to empty rooms and chairs, behind him a panicked Tamaki was practically bouncing off the walls.

"What did you do with her? I can't believe she's missing. How did this happen? Was she ok when you woke her up? Weneedtofindher-"

The green eyed teen swiftly brought his hand to cover the blonde's mouth, "Sorry Boss, but you are very loud."

"Mmre eeee oo mminn mmppphfff!"

"What?" Hale replied before uncovering his mouth.

"We need to find her!" He cried, tears had begun to stream down his face by now, and Hale could only stand there dumbfounded at how one person could possibly be so emotional.

Well, emotional or not this odd group were his only friends in Japan.

"Maybe she went away? To get air?" Hale fumbled over broken Japanese as the blonde's ears perked up in excitement.

"Maybe she went outside! To get some air!" He cried as he fled toward the door, "We have to go Hale it's starting to rain!"

Hale furrowed his eyebrows, why was rain the determining factor in finding Haruhi?

"Hey guys." A groggy Kenji called out from the living room followed by Honey and Mori, "What's with all the noise? Is Haruhi alright?"

Tamaki grabbed the small teen by his shirt and shook him furiously, "SHEWENTOUTTOGETSOMEAIR!"

"Calm down Tama, we'll find her." A nervous Honey replied while Mori's fists betrayed his own worry by clenching tightly at his sides. Kyoya appeared shortly after in the hallway, eyes disguised by a chrome-like reflection, "We'll start by the café's down the street, she probably just wanted to get some food."

"Um…She?"

Honey and Mori gawked wide-eyed at the abrasive teen dangling from Tamaki's grip. The blonde released him while his vision shifted between the Host and the Host in training.

Kyoya didn't miss a beat, "Yes Kenji, Haruhi is a girl and we would appreciate if you two didn't say anything and signed this non-disclosure agreement to prove that you won't."

"Actually Kyoya, Hale already knew." Honey pointed toward the straight-mouthed teen now holding a randomly appearing non-disclosure. The two cousins and the young Host had apparently been getting along very well over the past few days.

"Hale…Did you know this whole time?" Tamaki asked incredulously.

Hale could only awkwardly smile as he found every Hosts' eyes upon him, "Surprise?"

Crickets.

"So…I am just going to sign this." The green-eyed teen said after a lengthy turn of silence.

Once all of the legalities were in order the group of Hosts teamed up in the streets to search for the missing girl. Honey and Mori would (just in case) search the cake shop in the South of the building. Kyoya and Kenji would take a look around the shops in the East and Tamaki and Hale would search the café's to the North.

Once the group had each realized that nobody was covering the West, Tamaki and Hale being the last of which. They all set out together toward that direction.

"Where's Hika?" Honey called out to the group, taking note of the guilty look on Tamaki's face as he did so.

"He said he went for a walk." Kenji chimed, "but that was almost an hour ago, and it's starting to rain."

Tamaki visibly stiffened at the sight of the impending weather, breaking from a slow walk to a paced jog that the other Hosts began to mirror. In the distance the faint sound of someone shouting could be heard, muffled only by the thunder that quickened Tamaki's movements with each crash.

"Tamaki slow down." Kyoya called out, his glasses becoming fogged from the heat emitting from his own body.

"Kyoya we have to find Haruhi before she-"

A pair of teenagers came into view, two that seemed intertwined in an embrace of sorts. Had they been any other couple, Tamaki would've sighed at the very image of romance. However today he would stumble upon his worst fears.

Tamaki's eyes grew wide at the sight of one Haruhi, _his_ Haruhi pressed against a wall by a rough looking Hikaru. Her body looked so frail under the taller boy's grasp, yet she seemed almost willing to be underneath it.

The blonde instantly froze in his tracks, surrounded by unwavering Hosts. His blinked his eyes once…twice…even three times, but the visage of the two locked together still threatened to crush his very soul.

He spoke in barely a whisper, "Har…u…hi."

Tamaki had always thought that his heart was made of muscle and tissue, one that was strong and willing to face anything that crossed his way.

But it was there in the rain that he cringed at the sensation of his heart shattering across the glistening pavement into a million pieces.

For it was made of glass.

* * *

"Har...u…hi" Hikaru says between breaths, though I'm panting as much as he is.

The auburn haired boy leans his forehead into mine while intense waves of our frenzy slowly pass through our shaking bodies. His fingers are still wound in my drenched hair.

In the next instant his eyes become wide with fear, and his hands regretfully drop to his sides when he realizes just what it is he's done.

"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"Hikaru….that was-"

"Haruhi!"

An incoming voice calls to my right causing me to jump in surprise.

"What are you doing out here?" A voice cries out in a sort of desperate sense. I look over to see an exasperated Tamaki followed closely by the rest of the Host Club. The blonde's eyebrows are furrowed in anger and respite while the group behind him remains dumbfounded.

Hikaru has already stepped away from me, but I can't help but wonder if they saw anything. "She was just out for a walk Tamaki you don't need to-"

"Be quiet Hikaru!"

The blonde starts to tremble from sheer anger, while amber eyes are hard-pressed to remove the ecstasy running throughout them. Hikaru takes a step in front of me next, and I can feel the tension rise with every second passing.

Honey chimes in when they've come to a stop in front of us, "Tama, don't worry. Haru and Hika are both safe-"

"I don't care about Hikaru, Honey! He probably lured her out here to meet him! She isn't even fully recovered yet not to mention the thunderstorm overhead! How could you be so careless Hikaru?"

Leave it to Tamaki to go into theatrics…

"Tamaki I can take care of myse-"

"Don't bother Haruhi." Hikaru says while turning to face me, "He doesn't want to listen to reason right now anyways."

Wow, is Hikaru actually being the more levelheaded one right now?

Wait, what am I saying? It's Tamaki…of course he is.

"Honey…Take her to the hotel please."

The small teen steps forward before Hale extends his hand out toward me, "I can take her. We should leave Haruhi."

"Yeah, I'll go too." Kenji proclaims.

I direct my eyes to Hikaru next, his face is flushed and he's still shaking from everything that's happened. His eyes are fixated on me as he mouths the words, 'I'm sorry' before I start to walk away.

My hands begin to tremble…I can't say anything in front of the other Hosts, but I can't stand the thought of him regretting that kiss.

I try desperately to will him into believing that what happened was a mistake, but I'm rushed away by Kenji and Hale before he seems to understand what I'm trying to communicate.

The last thing I see before reluctantly turning my head is Hikaru's eyes lowering in shame, and my own resolve shattering at the sight.

* * *

Tamaki stood in silence until he was sure Haruhi was gone. His fists were firmly clenched at his sides while a fire burned brightly within his chest. In front of him the auburn-haired teen looked sullen and defeated, but he knew appearances were deceiving.

"What do you think you're doing, Hikaru?" the blonde asks indignantly.

After an eternity of silence, amber eyes raise to meet violet. Allowing Hikaru to speak with a newfound ferocity in his voice.

"Leave me alone Tono." He says while moving to the side. Tamaki presses an arm into his shoulder before he's able to walk away, and suddenly both teens seem ready to fight.

"You've got some nerve Hikaru, luring her away like that."

Hikaru's eyebrows furrow in anger, but he still attempts to retain his composure..for her.

"You know I didn't do anything, just let me go back to the hotel." He replies while shrugging off the blonde's arm. He takes no more than five steps before a shout emmitts from behind.

"Do you think just because she feels sorry for you that you can use her like that!"

Well, so much for composure.

Hikaru whips around instantly at the offending remark, his wet hair whipping across the side of his face as he does so. "Fuck off Tono!"

Nobody could quite tell who struck first as the rain surrounding them blurred both figures before them, but it was certain that it wouldn't end well.

Hikaru ducked as Tamaki punched the air in futility, his brutal counterblow slammed into the blonde's ribs before he could regain his footing earning a rough grunt from his opponent. Before he could land another blow however Tamaki was able to spring a knee directly into the side of his eye, causing Hikaru's vision to blur as he stammered slightly. He readied himself for another blow, but found himself restrained before either could make another move.

"That's enough!" Honey chimed while his arms caught Tamaki's, meanwhile Mori had already grabbed onto Hikaru who was still shaking his head to regain his vision. A single stream of blood flowed from his face.

Through ragged breath Tamaki found his voice, "Leave Hikaru. Now."

Mori released the auburn haired teen once he was sure he had regained his footing. Hikaru shook his head in disgust before turning away from the group, all of which had eyes on him. "Fine Tamaki."

So it was with silence that the young teen turned his back and walked away from the rest, into the rain and out of the small world he had tried so desperately to expand.


End file.
